Family Split in SUpport of WLS

Hello everyone! I am scheduled to have my initial consult with Dr Enoch on tomorrow afternoon. I am 28 i will be 29 on Jan 19 am 5'9 and weigh over 300 pounds. I am torn between the Roux n Y and the Lap Band, my ins covers both.I have tried weigh****chers, meridia, south beach, atkins, personal trainer, etc and have lost weight only to gain it back. I have so many things going for me, but I never feel as blessed and happy about those things as I know I should. I dont remember since age 13 being under 200 lbs. Thank God I have a body shape that allowed me to 'carry my weight well' but not anymore. I weigh more now than I did fullterm pregnant with my first child. Anywho, I need some encouragement as far as how to handle things with my family. i have friends and family who support me and then I have friends and family who tell me things like I am going to die and be sick if I have if I have this and there must be something else i can try to loose weight first. I have worked hard for a MS degree in Biochem with a minor in Pharmacology and PHYSIOLOGY, I feel I have the ability to read the data that is available and make an intelligent decision. I just want to for once be a normal size, I have always been bigger than I should be at the particular age. My husband says he likes me the way I am and until recently for the most part I have too, I just knwo as I am getting older I am not able to carry all this weight (I have joint pain and HBP). I am no longer comfy in my own skin.

Hi Marshika, First off congrats on the consult. Dr. Enochs is my surgeon and he is wonderful. You made a good choice in Dr's. I had sugery 6 months ago and have lost 95 pounds and feel it has been the best decision I ever made for myself. With that said your family needs to realize this is your decison and your body. You are the one who has to walk in your own skin. I am sure they are worried but what you need to do is try to educate them on the surgery as well. This may help them understand how far it has come in the last few years. Any surgery is risky but the health risks of obesity far out weigh the risks of this surgery (for me anyway). If this is what you really want stick to your guns, your family will get over it. When they see how well you are doing and the difference in yourself as you travel through the journey they will be glad you did it too. All the best to you and yours! Kim

Marshika, Welcome ....to your new start, your new froends AND all of your new family here at the obesity help. I want to give you congrats as well on your decision for weight loss surgery...for some it's a hard decision to make a for others it might be easy. But in my opinion I think that you need to do what is right for you..(in every way ...health, etc) I think Kim was right....get your family educated, have them go to you when you go to support meetings. And of course have them look here on the OBESITY HELP SITE. But in the end you have to do what is right for YOU !!! HAVE A GERAT WEEKEND .....AND WELCOME Stephanie

Hey Marshika, Congrats on taking that 1st step toward a new life. The surgeon that I chose only performed Roux N Y and that is what I had done . . . Now my reason for chosing that surgery was because of the port that you have to have on the outside of the body w/ the Lap Band. The port is where the saline is injected in (of course you know that). Also I was talking to my dentist and she told me about her sister getting the Lap Band and scar tissue began to build up around the band because her body detected it as a foreign object and tried to get rid of it. The Band also began to break down and had to be removed. If that wasn't bad enough because she had one type of WLS her insurance co would not pay for another WLS. Everyone has their reasons for the choices that they make. But I chose RNY ultimatly because that even when your stomach gets larger you still have that by-pass of the large intestine that later helps with maintaining your loss later b/c of the food not being absorbed throughout your entire intestinal track. Just look at all of it side by side - I found my own info b/c even though Your doctor may do more than one type of WLS he may favor one over the other - thus it could bias your decison. Either way WLS is not the cure it is a tool no matter which one you choose. Your success is dependant upon how well you use the tool. Phenom 322/255/160

Hey Marshika - welcome! My family and some friends were the same as yours. Some were o.k. with my decision to do this and some weren't. I heard the same comments you did - "why don't you try this or why don't you try that". Well, I have tried all of "this and that" and now I am at the point in my life where I feel I have two choices - have WLS and live as full a life as possible or stay fat and die within 5-10 years as a very unhappy person. Thankfully, as time has passed and they see that I am serious about this, most of them have come around to the idea. They are only worried because they love us and they don't want anything bad to happen. Just hang in there with them and like the other posters say, educate them as best as you can. The ones who truly love you will come around eventually. As for the rest of them, it is utimately your choice and you just have to realize that you are in control of your destiny, not them. Take care and keep your chin up! Donna

Hello there. Congrats on the insurance support. I have two insurances and both have exclusions. So I'm self pay. I'm sorry you are not getting 100% support. This decision is hard enough to make without others intervening. I will soon be having RNY. My thoughts on that is that if I'm going to have surgery, I'm going with a malabsorption component. Several of my friends who are 1-4 years out feel that the malabsorption component is what is keeping their weight off. Good luck on your decision making. Once your mind is made up, it's really hard to go back (that's why I'm doing it even though it will cost me a bundle). If you have Discovery Health Channel, there is a program called Action Hero Makeover. It's about the guy who played Buck Rogers having "Mini Gastric Bypass". This show was amazing on explaining to family member why I'm doing this. Good Luck! ...Jill

I just had my surgery. Jan/. 9th. Understand family being divided. Do your research. Make your own decision. No one should be allowed to make this decision for you. My family was split. I did not even share the fact that I was looking into it until I was finished with my clearance appointments. I braced myself for the contrasting opinions. No one lives in my shoes. No one knew the damage weight had caused me. They just knew that I was fat. Once I was approved by insurance and a date was set, I did not allow anyone to make a negative comment. I only needed supporters at that point. Those that really loved me, supported me even if they did not agree with me. The waiting room was full of my family (supporters and those not) They were all there cheering for me. They cheer for me now. There concern was for my life. How wonderful that they love me that much. But I live with me and I had to make my decision. This is not the time for public approval rating. Hope this helps. Diane

good for you! Do not let other's opinions sway you in this decision. You are intelligent and educated enough to decide if this is right for you. I find folks that don't support WLS have several issues-- -they only hear the horror stories on tv shows/news/magazines and don't focus on the amazing amt of SUCCESS that TONS of us have! IGNORANCE -fearful type people that think the small percentage of death is HUGE...you are taking greater chances with your life driving on the road each day. let's not even get into health issues that are increased because of the weight and quality of life concerns -people that don't want you to be "skinny" and look better than them/jealousy I am thankful each day I wake up and no longer have joint pain when I walk to the bathroom. Thankful that I don't have incontinence anymore, my heartburn is gone, that I can RUN up a flight of stairs and not get winded. I am confident in my appearance and don't have depression anymore. I am not constantly worried that people are thinking about how fat I am. I was 30 when I had surgery and wanted to start a family. My pregnancy was easy and free of any complications such as gestational diabetes and swelling. My blood pressure was lower than my normal bp the entire time. I had no probs with blood labs.... bottom line it is your life and you need to make YOU happy. I still have several relatives that DO NOT know I had surgery because I know how ignorant they are and I didn't feel like trying to convince them for several hours! I didn't tell my In Laws til after I was approved and had a surgery date because I knew their reactio would be negative. To this day if I eat certain things my Father In Law will say "I didn't think you could eat that" blah blah blah....ummmm maybe I couldn't in the first 3 months but since I got to goal I about do whatever I want. Some people will never be supportive and others will live in the dark forever.

Hi Marshika, Congratulations for making the decision to have WLS. That is the first step to a new life. I am 15 months out and feel wonderful, I have my health back, I have a life and I have a future! I shared my decision with my family through a letter. I sat down and wrote a letter from my heart. I would be happen to share some of what I said in the letter with you if you will email me at [email protected] Good Luck! Connie

Hi Marshika Your life sounds alot like mine. I just turned 28 in Dec and I have 2 kids. My family sounds like yours including the hubby. I have been through all the stuff (hoops) just waiting on the surgeon's office to submit to insurance......(I hate waiting).....Anyway, I am 5/7 315lbs so close to what you said too...I'm going to Dr. Aldofo Fernandez in W-S; he is @ Baptist which is a Center of Excellence for BCBS which I have Blue Options so my odds of approval are Higher. Also he does the RNY and is starting to do the Lapband but I'm going RNY. Personal preference......and I'm sure the Dr. you've chosen is Great too. As for me and my family I just said "This is what I want to do and it's ok" They at least stop talking then...... Anyways, Good luck on your journey and if you want to talk anytime let me know. Hugs Rebecca