New and Scared...

My health has detiorated greatly in the last 2 years. I have been planning on the wls, this entire time. But, one thing after another.. my thyroid., depression, fibromyalgia, etc. etc. Finally, my Dr.'s say proceed with the application for the surgery. I am 44 years old, weight 380 lbs. I am so scared all of a sudden. I am married to a wonderful man, have a set of 15 year old twin boys, who i want to see grow up. I know i am being so selfish for being so scared. Maybe I just need to hear from people who have been there. I prayed and I think this is where God wanted me to come for help. My biggest fear, which I'm sure you've figured out is death. Death if I do, Death if I don't. I may not answer any posts right away. I get online off and on, but I do appreciate any words of encouragement you have. Thank you all in advance. Becky D. in Western North Carolina

HEY BECKY, WELCOME TO THE BOARD. WHAT YOU'RE FEELING IS SO MORMAL. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. JUST THINK OF ALL THE BENIFITS ONCE THE SURGERY IS COMPLETED AND YOU'RE ON YOU'RE WAY TO A HEALTHIER LIFE STYLE. I KNOW I HAD GREAT RESEVATIONS ABOUT HAVING THE SURGERY. I WENT INTO THE HOLDING ROOM THINKING " DO I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS?", THEN WAKING UP IN RECOVERY I KEPT THINKING " TAKE ME BACK AND GIVE ME MY OLD STOMACH BACK." BUT OF COURSE THAT WASN'T POSSIBLE. NOW THREE MONTHS OUT, TODAY INFACT I HAVE NO REGRETES. I'M 64# DOWN AND ALREADY HAVE MORE ENERGY, MY KNEES AND HEEL SPURS ARE NO LONGER BOTHERING ME AND I LOOK FORWARD TO MANY MORE HAPPY HEALTHY YEARS TO LIVE. JUST THINK OF ALL THE POSITIVES AND DON'T DWELL ON THE NEGATIVES. KEEP IN TOUCH AND LET US KNOW WHAT TRANSPIRES. DONNA, sfy (southern fried yankee)

Thank you so much for replying! I have a horrible time getting around, and I KNOW I have to do it, it is just so scarey, and today was a really bad day. You DO NOT know how much your answer helped me so much. Thank You, Thank You, and God BLess Becky D.

Becky, you are so welcome. We've all been in the same boat one time or another. Everyone on the board is here for you. If you have any questions or concerns don't hesitate to ask. Any way I can help I'll be glad to. May our heavenly father calm your fears, ease your heavy heart and bring you the comfort and answers you seak. Donna

Hello there. I have two children under the age of 4 and I have put this off due to the fear of death. Until now. I chose my surgeon carefully and feel that this is the right time, the right place and the right surgeon. It took a while to come to grips with the fear of death thing. I read somewhere that a 40 yr woman with a BMI of 40 has the same 10 yr survival rate as a 40 yr old woman just diagnosed with breast cancer. That was a wake up call for me. I work with several people who are 1+ years out. They all went thru this fear. I finally overcame my fear and pushed forward. Once that decision is made, it's hard to go back. There is too much quality of life on the other side. There is a reasoning process to go thru to accept that the risks are greater for NOT going thru with the surgery in many cases. It sounds like you are processing those emotions like everyone else who has been there. I am waiting on the actual date now (haven't had surgery yet). I know I have a lot more fear to go thru, but for now, I think I've moved past that paralyzing fear and into a cautious concern. Time will tell. Good luck to you and keep processing those emotions! ...Jill

Hi, my name is Diane. My middle name should be FEAR. I know the place where you stand and know it well. First, let me tell you that only you should be the one who makes this decision. Don't let anyone influence you. But listen to this board for information, help with your questions, encouragement for what is on the other side of this surgery should you choose it. This is how I made my decision. At 290 lbs. I was just before going on insulin, my blood pressure was rising and I slept with a machine to keep me alive at night because of sleep apnea. In that place I was surely going to die. I knew it. But oh, the thought of surgery was so unknown, so frightening. I could possibly die there. There was quite a struggle. Do nothing and surely die or take the plunge and face the relatively small risk of surgery. It has come so far these days. My husband had WLS surgery 25 years ago, does great and never regretted it. After much, much prayer and much, much research, I decided to start the journey toward getting better. I had surgery this past week. (January 9th) and I developed a fever. I tried to look forward still. The fever held on and they could not figure it out. Finally I was released two days later than I was supposed to be. I am doing well. I am healing but know that I am. I came home with NO diabetic medicine and no blood pressure medicine. The doctor thinks I will not need my machine within 6 months. This is my story. I tell it to help you. Ask this board lots of questions. Ask for prayer. We understand your struggles even better than your doctor. But you MUST be willing to follow all of his instructions. You Must. Diane

THank you Diane. I have sleep apnea, and not on blood pressure meds YET. Not diabetic YET. But, I have fibromyalgia and my weight really increases the pain. I can't hardly walk due to shortness of breath and pain. No one is trying to push me into the surgery. It's just me with the fear.. I have support from my entire family.. Thank God.. I appreciate your help, and I do ask that anyone who will please pray for me through this journey. Thank you again. Becky D in Morganton, nc

I know this journey is very terrifying, but I kept thinking initially if I could only get this surgery then I could be around a long time for my 3 year old daughter and fantastic husband. Of course insurance didn't agree with me and I had double insurance and it wasn't covered under either plan. My husband's insurance finally changed to a plan that covers gastric bypass so I decided at that point that it was a sign. I sent my packet off and had my first appt with the WLS center on 10/25/06. I was approved for surgery 12/22/06 and just had my surgery on 1/9/06. I dreamed about the surgery for years but was also terrified of dying or complications. I got all of my affairs in order before going in last Tuesday and when I went into the holding area before surgery different groups came by to make sure I knew what surgery I was having and how things were going to change. I acknowledged each and every time with no hesitation. It was weird but I didn't think I would get anxious but I did break out in hives the night before. On day of surgery I felt so calm and at peace with my decision. I had sent my 3 year old to my parent's house the Sunday prior so I just kissed my husband before they took me to the holding area. I just had a feeling of everything was going to be okay. I am doing fine today and doing the liquid diet thing for 3 weeks. I have already lost the first 10 pounds on this journey in just as of Friday. I think this is a personal choice for each and every one of us. My main purpose was to feel better and not set a fat example for my daughter. I want to get out and run and play with her but at my weight that isn't possible. Amanda Stone-Secrest

hi becky my name is kristi and i am 18 months out from my open rny(7/05) i started out at 217(5ft tall) and now am 130 i do feel great but i was also petrified i have orthopedic problems and was told to lose weight or buy a wheelchair! but i was so scared it took me 6 months to work up my courage to have it done- i have 3 kids under 12 and wanted to see them grow up -but when i thought of the quality of life i had(very limited mobility) and they had being there mother and not being able to do what other mommies did-i took the leap, yes you can die from the surgery but you can also die of a heart attach climbing stairs- i am sorry to sound harsh but its true i can honestly say it was the best decision i ever mad- my son loves that he can fit on my lap and my daughters like to steal my clothes- go for it - feel better and good luck - i hope i helped -kristi