Encouragement Needed

I am 6 weeks post-op today and instead of jumping for joy I am trying to keep a hold on the tears while I am at work. I am tired of not being able to eat, I'm tired of feeling sick all the time, I'm tired of being depressed, I'm tired of being told "You need to eat anyway", I'm just plain and simply tired of this... I want my old happy self back. Not the 47 pounds I have lost in the process but I want to be happy again. I researched this surgery, I went to all my meetings, I knew what I was getting myself into, I knew this was a permanent life style change that is irreversible and that nothing would ever be the same again but I want off this boat. I don't like it. I don't like constantly feeling like I am going to bust out crying. I read post of others who are less post-op than me and see the variety of things they are able to eat and never hear them complain about it and I am thinking "Why can't I eat that?" I have not been able to eat more than 2-3 small bites of food since Friday without an all encompassing naseuated feeling coming over me. I've tried prayer, I've tried starting over with my eating but frankly I am tired of having to force myself to eat. This is coming from someone who had to give herself pep talks in her head to keep from eating from the time I got up until the time I went to bed. I didn't get to come to the Gastonia support group meeting last night because my daughter was sick and the Hickory meeting is not until 4-21-06. I don't go to the DR. until 4-10-06 and just really would love to get some encouragement and advise from people who are going or have gone through this.

Call your doctor if you are having trouble eating. I was 6 weeks out and feeling about like you are right now and found out I had a stricture. Nancy

Thanks Nancy, I think I am going to have to give in and do that... Not to sound dumb but what is a stricture and how do they fix it?

A stricture happens when the hole going into your pouch is too small to let food or drink in. What happens then is ! I'm actually going tomorrow for them to check me out again. The way they find it is by having you do a Barium Swallow, like you did the day after your surgery. From that, they can x-ray you to see if the fluid is going through your pipes. To fix a stricture, they do an upper endoscopy and dialiation. They can put you out, which I highly recommend, and put the camera down your throat. Then they have a little balloon that they inflate to try to open up that hole to allow food and fluids to pass through. They have to be careful and do it gradually, so it may take more than one time to get you dialiated. PLEASE feel free to contact me if you have any other questions or concerns. My doctor may think I'm a whiny one, but I'm glad that I called to let them know I was having trouble. Better safe than sorry!!!! Take care! Nancy

Hey Gloria, I went through the same thing. I sent you a personal email so if you need to talk, call me. Hope you feel better soon. Sandi

Thanks Sandi and thank you for the kiss! My e-mail is running behind today for some reason. I will e-mail you back as soon as I get it.

Hello Gloria.... I went through a lot of the same thing too... I also had a stricture at about 3 weeks post-op.. and had to be dialated.. you can read about it in my profile... on top of that, I tll felt depressed and hated what I did... and wanted to return to my old self! Everything I ate made me sick... even liquids! Anyway, after I got everything corrected, through a period of 4 months.... I began to eat.... today I am well and doing well... It was very, very tought those first few months... but, at the same time, a blessing, as I lost the weight. Please check with your doctor about no being able to eat... if it is a stricture, it must be fixed, before you get malnourished.... Again, don't let my profile scare you.... but let it encourage you... for me life is better.... even after all I went through!!!! Keep us posted and keep the faith!!! Mike

Hi Gloria! I know this is a very discouraging time for you and I really do wish you could have made the meeting last night. I think it would have helped you understand that you are not alone in this. First, check with your doctor and make sure everything is correct physically, also, it is normal for people to suffer from depression after this surgery. If you are not on a antidepressant, after you find out you are healthy, and you feel like you are really needing some extra help during this time I would suggest you try to get into your PCP asap. It is normal to mourn the loss of food. For some it is worse than others. I had my surgery 8/05 and I do not remember mourning over the food loss, but I did have some depression. My hubby had his surgery done 2/06 and he really had a rough time with the loss of his comfort foods. One thing that made his harder, I think, is that his surgeon did not require a liquid diet prior to surgery, and mine did. This helps you start getting ready for the changes you have to go through to start your new life. I pray that things will get easier for you, but just know you always have extra support through this board! God Bless! Nancy RNY Lap 5'8" 320/193/170(surgeons goal)*(150 my ultimate goal)

i promise things will get easier. i used to be very nauseous at first!!!! at about 3 months i felt human again. stick to thin things like yogurt. try blue bunny. i also did well with mash potatoes and cheese..you can sprinkle a little protein powder on them. you might also be in ketosis that just plain makes you feel crummy..sad, etc. you need to get some calories in you!!!! do call your doctor and find out if they feel like you have a stricter..but drink drink drink..don't get dehydrated. i promise it will be better and you will be glad you had the surgery!!!! keep us updated susan