Greetings to all - This is my first posting

Good Morning to all. I am a frustrated, depressed, overweight, unhealthy 42 year old woman in NC. I have been researching WLS for some time now. My husband and I moved to the area in February. As of the moment, we have no medical coverage. I am desparate to make a healthy change in my life. I am considering paying for the surgery out of pocket because I am virtually uninsurable! I got a quote from Blue Cross/Blue Shield and because of my weight (365) the lowest monthly cost would be OVER $1000!!!!! Geeze! Might as well pay for it myself, huh? I don't know what else to do. I am physically unable to maintain a fulltime job right now because I am so physically limited...my own fault. I was a cook for 15 years. After I was unable to spend 8 hours a day on my feet, I took a job as a bookkeeper for a pool and spa company. That was worse! Never had back trouble until I sat on my "gluteous maximus" all day. Now I can't stand/can't sit for extended periods of time. What do I do now? I miss working! I miss people! I have been looking at all the before and after photos on OH website. I guess I'm sort of obsessed at this point. LOL Amazing. I'm so excited for all of them, but end up in tears because that should be me too. I want to be a success story. I used to be a gymnast when I was in high school. Very happy, very outgoing. Hard to believe I am the same person. Even with all the excess pounds, I still felt pretty good until a few months ago. Really taking it's toll now. I don't know what to do anymore. I AM going to have this surgery, damnit, one way or another. I am ashamed of what I have let myself become...and I am ashamed of BEING ashamed of myself, because I know this is an illness. I need help. I need support. My husband and friends are terrific, but unless someone has ever been in my shoes, they really can't understand. I know you folks have been there. I'm reaching out to you fine people for some encouragement. I feel so alone. HELP ME!

Mary Ann, First of welcome! I am fairly new here but I wanted to let you know you are not alone. I am 38, I am 5 6" and weigh 330. I am having the surgery on June 14th but trust me when I say that I know how you feel. I am very happy to be on my journey but it took along time to get to this point. I just wanted to say it It is hard for anyone how isn't overweight to understand the way you feel and I encourage you use this web site to it's fullest to research and discuss this option as much as possible because for me it has been great so far. You aren't alone in your journey! I also encourage you to check to forum for self pay because you might get some good information there as well. Shannon

Hi Mary I can say I know how you feel and "really do!!" as probably every member of OH. I have not officially began my WLS Journey, but I, like you, decided I do want to purse WLS. I have medical insurance but it will not cover WLS, but my husband has a job with medical insurance and he will be adding me to his insurance once it becomes available to him. I guess I'd inquire if your husband's employer has insurance, that may be a cheaper way to get insurance with hopes the insurance would cover WLS.. Hang in here Mary, I know it's difficult!! I have to keep telling myself this is something that is meant for me and it's going to happen, when I don't know, but I have to try to stay uplifted, and you should as well. Good luck Mary, look forward to seeing you around!!!

Hello Mary Ann, Welcome I have insurance but they refused to pay so I was self pay. When you consider the out of pocket cost , it is not too bad. I looked at it this way, I have spent tons of money on new cars/trucks and had to finance them, WHY could I not finance my health so---- I did, I borrowed from my retirement account, re financed my husbands truck... and came up with enough cash , here is what it cost: hospital , 2 day stay - $16,000 doctor , $ 8,400 also for the knock out guy ( I dare not try to spell it ) $ 6,000 most new cars cost $ 30,000 so I think if my self as " A new car " ,,,, but I think I will last lots longer than the loan. Of course dr's and hospitals all cost different. Of course everyone is different, and I worried if I had problems what would I do, I turned it all over to the Lord and here I set today 11 weeks out and 75 pounds lighter. Goood luck my friend, please feel free to email me with any questions. Allison

Hi Allison, Thank you for your words of encouragement. They mean more than you know. You are right, absolutely. We also have spent a small fortune on vehicles, motorcycles, boat, blah blah blah. How could I justify those things and not WLS? I am so worth it. Tomorrow, first thing, I am going to the bank for a loan. Doctor here gets $5,700 - hospital gets $15,000 - "knockout guy", well, that's a surprise they are saving for me. (I usually LOVE surprises. This should cure that.) I will let you know any progress I make. Thanks again for your kind words. Oh, and "Holy Crap! 75 lbs? You go!" Mary Ann

Mary Ann, I am so happy you are starting the journey, it is so worth it. The first couple weeks you will think " WHAT DID I DO TO MYSELF " then you will start to love being able to eat such a small amount of food , and then as your pants start to slide down your hips, you will love it even more. I have gone for a size 26 to 18 in 11 weeks and I feel wonderful. Keep in touch and feel free to hollar with any questions. Allison

Well, I can encourage you. I WAS 357 lbs. 3 years ago and I'm only 4'11 1/2" tall. I was bigger around than tall. When I had my surgery 12/03 I weighed 321 lbs. Today I weigh 133 lbs. That is my goal weight. My BMI was 67.5. I had to fight my insurance company but finally they paid. My advice to you? Go for it. It is worth paying for. You will be a new person. Stop putting yourself down for the weight. Start really investigating weigh surgery and get going on your journey. I've been in your shoes, I've walked that path and never again will I go down that road again. I like being a size 8, walking, exercising, doing whatever I want to because I can! My goals for this summer? Ride a horse, canoe down the New River, take a day hike on the Appalachian Trail. Those are things I haven't done yet since my new life began. Be encouraged. There is a new life out there for you and you can do it!

Hey there. I too am self-pay aith a little help from VR (Vocational Rehabilitation) You should check into that. They help people who are in our situation. My doctor doesn't accept Vr as payment so that's where my self-pay comes into place. So maybe if they can help out with even the hospital bill, which is what they are doing for me, then it might get done sooner than you think!!! Good luck with your journey. I know mine's been a tough one with disappointments and setbacks but it will all be worth it in July when I have my surgery!!! Again good luck!! Sarah

Sarah, I have a question does Voc Rehab help even if you are currently employed???