Me too Kitty I feel the same way. It makes it easier I think because we do not know each other and our connection is only here on an invisable space. I think it helps to open up to someone you have never met so there are no expectations or judgments on either side, Thank you for allowing me to say what I want witout recrimination or fear of being judged.

 I cannot imagoine how you coped with losing your mom at such an early age. It was good that you had an older sister to help bit you must have been so lonely and felt as if you had been left to fend for yourself. I feel for your Dad too. To be left with a 15 year old with his traditional thinking must have been really hard for him. He was dealing with his own grief  but that was of no help to you. You must have spent a lot of time in such pain for a long time, To get graduate, get married and have babies without your most ardent supporter. I don't know how you did it. I suppose there was not much choice but to go on.  

I got married at 16 and moved to this province so I too had to grow up really fast. The first few years here my husband and I had no phone because we were too poor and I couldn't write to Mom because she could not read so I knew loss as well. I hated it here and knew no one, I think I was homesick for the first 8 years. 

That sure is a beautiful poem. I hope you don't mind that I stole it and put it in my folder so I can flip it open and read it ever so often.

When you relate these events now, so many years later, do you stil get a sharp stab of pain? I ask because I lost my mother-in-law in 1991 and evn now sometimes when I talk about her, it still hurts. I don't cry about her loss anymore but I still miss her everytime I speak about her. I don't miss her everyday. As a matter of fact I will go days/weeks sometimes and not think about her at all. When I do think of her I miss her.I can't even imagine going a day without thinking about Mom. 

I can't even comprehend your many loss'. I don't know how you have coped with them all. You even had one this past year. I suppose we will go on. Not much other choice, is there?

Thank you for taking the time to help me feel better. If you ever need me for any morale supportr, you only need to say.

Thank you Charlene. As a nurse I have studied all of this and at times I even recognise different stages in myself but sometimes you just need to hear (read) someone else say that it's OK to feel depressed and to allow youself time to grieve. That it is perfectly normal and I will eventually feel normal again and not burst into tears because I came across a sock she knit for my son 25 years ago.  Again my friend. thank you.
 
Holy Moses Charlene what a horrible week you had way back then. You must have been shaking your head wondering where to turn next. I really hope you had a really good support system.  

I grasp what you mean by emotional eating most of all on Sundays. I called Mom every Sunday and Wednesday mornings for the past 6 years. I can and often forget the Wednesday morings because it is in the middle of the week but Sundays are a different story. I always called Mom ater Corrrie was over on Sundays. Mom died this past September and I know I am still grieving her loss. I feel this more acutely on Sundays. I know everyone says it but she was my absolute best friend and most ardent supporter.

I cannot eat or smoke away the sadness anymore and that's all I want to do. When I get sad or upset I still go to the fridge or the cupboard. I stand there with the doors open trying to find something to eat and I eat. Problem is I get physically full before I get emotionally placated and I am left with this empty spot I can't fill with food.  I think it may be time to get in touch with the dumont crew and get in to see the team physcologist . (sp)There must be some other way to deal with this. Unfortunately going for a walk is not an option for me and distractions only works for a short time.

Holy Moses! That was quick!!  Congrats on getting your date. So looking forward to your post op success'. Wishing you all the best as always.

Keeping track of what you eat, when and why sounds like a great idea.
 
I have kept a food diary since June 4, 2008, 8 months before I had my R N Y. It was then that I decided to take control of my life because I had waited years to get to see Dr. B. and there seemed no end in sight. I lost over 50 pounds before I ever got in to see Dr. B.
 
I found that by religiously keeping track of every morsel of food that I put into my mouth I was able to better control my sweet eating behaviour. For me if was tempted to eat a Vachon cake I'd think "Humm I have to write this down and I know I shouldn't eat it" If I did eat it and recorded it I felt bad enough about it that over time that secound thought was all I needed to avoid eating it.

If you choose to keep a food diary it will be of no use if you lie about what you eat. The only one it is important to is yourself. LOL Believe me when I say no one else is interested in what you eat. I still keep a food diary because I can and sometimes do get offf track. The difference now is if I eat carbs or sweets I dump. Still though I do get off track and must rein myself in.


I would find it difficult to write down my emotional state everytime I put something into my mouth. I don't think I am that much in touch with my every emotion that I could accurately say I ate this because I was feeling lonely or upset. My main reasons I think is simply because it tastes good and I like it. LOL

Funny that Kitty mom mentioned DS surgery. I do not think either of the doc's in NB offer DS but on my last visit to Dr B I was talking to Rinnette and we were talking about the DS. She told me one of her pt has RNY But their spouse had DS 4 or 5 years ago and actually was regaining weight. As with any of the wls you most certainly can regain if you eat carbs and sweets.

Rinnette agrees with me on the ability to absorb nessessary fats after having DS. You must consume fats to remain healthy. It does not matter if you want to eat the fats, you must. That does not sound like a lifestyle I would enjoy. My question is and no one has been able to answer is ... what happens to DSers when they reach old age. I am working on  a Ba in geratrics and a really big issue in the elderly is eating. Wheather it be due to financial, depression, loneliness . physical immobility or a dozen other reasons , many of the elderly do not eat well. Having to consume so many fats might  be an added burden IMO

A big plate of bacon may sound wonderful now but will it when you are 70? I would never disrespect  any wls and everyone gives their particular choice a lot of thought but I wonder how far into the future we all look?

Yes Kitty I remember well when you had your band placed. I was so happy for you too and in the following months I watched closely your posts and success'. It realy pains me to watch you and Jett and a few others suffer and try again and again with your bands.
 
I don't know what ever happened to dear Ann and several of the other gals from NS that never post anymore. I don't post as often now but I do follow everyone's progress.

Our board has gotten much bigger in the last couple of years. That's good too. Different  types of surgeries too. That's good too.
 
I look forward to your 2 year post too Kitty. You are  one of the very few who stay on here encourageing the newbies. God bless you sweetie. Maybe this year we will actually meet in person. All the best to in your  journey.

Holy Moses, yesterday was my 2nd surgiversary and it completely slipped my mind. Imagine that. That is how often I even think about it. Yes. 2 years has passed. I have regained  milk(yaa) but have completely lost chicken (except in soup). So far I have lost all forms of pork, chicken, all deli meats, all forms of bread and crackers, and of course all cereals. I still have beef and pasta so I am happy. I ca eat potato chips (1 handful only), cookies (max of 2). cake (1 thin slice) and ice cream (1 small scoop),
 
I don't miss what I have lost food wise when you compare it to what bI have gained. I have regained my life. my dignity and my health. Nothing and no food compares to that. I look and feel "normal". No one gives me a secong glance when I enter a restaurant or anywhere else. No one stares at my plate at a all you can eat buffet and I love it.
 
That feeling of being "normal" is worth all of the suffering I have done since my gastric bypassand if anyone is wondering YES even with all of the complications I had I would definately have  the RNY again in less than half a heartbeat.

A lot of folks now are having the sleeve and that sounds pretty good too nut for me I need the negative reinforcement of dumping to avoid sweets and carbs. Without that reinforcement I know myself well enough to know I would not stop eating them. I LOVE MY R N Y and appreciate my dumping LOL. It keeps me in line. LOL


If there were a bad side it is that now I have gallbladder attacks and now need my gallbladder removed still even that is a small price to pay. I would not change a thing.

Still haven't reached and stayed at Dr. B's goal for me (170) but am well below my own goal (180). I may yet get to 170 and if I do that would be great but if I don't that's fine too

. Still can't walk well due to my back and that is my one and only regret. I really had thought that once the weight was gone. my back would improve but it has actually gotten worse. SUCKS


That's my 2 year update I wonder how I will feel 12 months from now? We will see.

Wishing you all the best Jet.  Hope you have a speedy uneventful recovery and be able to get back to your life. You have been sick way too long. Keep us  posted my friend

Thank you 2010krw. Yes there most definately are more positives than negatives following this surgery. I can do much more now and I can move much easier.

When I walk into a restaurant I am no longer the thing to be stared at and whispered about anymore. I blend in seamlessly with everyine and thankfully am no longer noticed. I really LOVE that. I am no longer "different". People who are really heavy understand that statement completely.
 
No one stares at my plate at a buffet anymore. That's really funny too. In 2008 I used to get 2 really full plates and people would stare. Now I go back 15 times and get 1 tablespoon full of food and no one notices. Too funny!

I suppose because I look "normal" I can get away with almost anything. lol  I suffer depression off and on have for years. I just find when I am depressed I dislike myself more than usual. Thank you for the offer to talk. This too shall pass.

I still eat sweets. Just not many of them. I cannot eat a chocolate bar. I can and do on occasion eat 1/4 of a bar or 1 bite, That is enough. Chocolate bars are way too sweet and I don't  really care for the taste of sweet now. I cannot eat cereal at all. Never never. I can only eat about 3/4 or 1/2 a slice of bread. I cannot eat pork chops, bacon, deli meat, bologna, weiners or pizza.  I have become lactose intolerant following surgery. I can no longer drink fruit juices or pop. I cannot eat ice cream in any form. Pasta i**** and miss some days yes some days no.
 
I no longer projectile vomit. Food just rolls back up lookin and tasting the exact same as it did when it went down only chewed. LOL Food is no longer a joy, no longer something I look forward to nor something to be savoured. It is food. The taste of many foods have changed so much there is a lot now I no longer like the taste of. Food is fuel for the body. I eat now when I am hungry and that's it. Many many foods no longer like me and get back out of my belly as fast as it can. LOL