Encouragement and humble brag...

Hi everyone,

I haven't been here in way too long....because I've honestly been too busy LIVING!!!

I can't believe what the last 2 years have been like.  I've been so busy that I forgot my surgiversary that was February 23rd of last month!

I'm still maintaining which is more of a struggle now than earlier but with such a good tool as the sleeve is, it's a matter of attitude.  I still can't eat much and to be honest that is sometimes depressing.  I used to LOVE to eat....big huge portions....and now there's really no urge to join my family for a huge meal.  I get to join them because of the company :)  not the food...

I still have issues with what I see in the mirror, I have a problem seeing my thin face because when I think of myself, I still see the chubby face I had for most of my life.  I posted a picture of myself a few years before surgery at my salon and my clients were mostly in complete disbelief that it was me, even the ones who met me at that stage!!

It's fun to go shopping in any store I want and not have to pretend to be buying for a gift.  It's fun to walk in a room and not worry about the chairs digging into my thighs or a seat belt fitting in a car or plane.  I have patio chairs in my salon and I use them without worry or one collapsing under me.  I can walk up the stairs without seeing stars at the top from being winded.  I have a lap for my kids to sit on.  They can fully wrap their arms around me to give me a hug. 

I am thankful for all those things are much too many more to write about....

However.....

I went to see a therapist before my surgery to try and prepare for the changes that would happen.....it wasn't enough....

I take anti-depressants because I can't yet accept that I am seen as thin....it's hard to explain.

I am almost too thin, and have to be aware that I have to eat to stay where I am.  And though a lot say "I wish that were me"...it's sooo easy to let yourself go and keep the numbers going down...since you don't experience hunger like a normal unaltered stomach does, you can go without eating for a long, long time, 50 hours I was at before I stopped and ate.

It's a rush to step on the scale and see the numbers go down so quickly, and hard to stop when it's enough.

I guess I don't know when to stop with the rambling...and I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I feel like I'm living, but when you're where I am, please don't let yourself caught up in the numbers on the scale.  I almost did but now refuse to weigh myself more than once every week and have set an acceptable gain/loss before I start monitoring my intake. 

For everyone who is waiting, don't despair, it will be one of the best things you've been gifted with, because I truly believe that that's exactly what Dr. Savoie and his team gave me two years ago.

As always, anyone who has a question, don't hesitate.  I am willing to help and share with anyone.  Especially since I think that everyone who has had surgery is so excited with their weight loss that they forget or don't realize that there are struggles, especially mentally and emotionally. 

Now I am waiting to get the excess skin taken off, another journey that will happen eventually.  With almost 200lbs lost, there's more than anyone could imagine...LOL

Talk to you later, keep your head up, and if you trip, pretend like you were simply changing directions and keep going!!!

Charline

WOW!! And CONGRATULATIONS!! Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.. I am only a month and a half out of surgery and I am soooo excited for my journey.. It is so exciting to hear from someone that is at the point where I cant wait to be.. Thank you for the inspiration and please humbly brag, it helps many..

Charline I am so glad you posted. I have been thinking about you and how you have been doing. Thank you for your honesty. It isn't as easy a journey as most think it is. But it is a great tool to get us going.

So glad to see you in here. I felt the need to pop in and see how ppl are doing. I agree Charline, the after life is an experience I was not prepared for. I encourage all to seek a referral to a psychologist or therapist of some kind to sort your brain out. It will be surprising the stuff that surfaces. I am down about 156lbs now and believe it or not have fallen in love with lifting weights and running!!

I just found your post when I was searching for information about the Bathurst Clinic...in particular what specific type of surgery they do there.  I cannot seem to find that anywhere online.

I got the call yesterday to go to the Bathurst clinic for an appointment on July 8 after what I guess was somewhere between 5-6 years on the waiting list. In that time I had not just been "waiting" though...in the past 3 years I managed to lose 70 lbs on my own, and then put it all back on again!

I had stopped waiting, really, and hadn't really given much thought to WLS recently, so the call threw me for a loop. Instead of being ecstatic I am feeling mostly confused, knowing this is my only chance probably and also having a lot of fears. I appreciated your post which mentions some of these fears about dealing with the emotional side of everything.