8 month progress and thoughts.
I'm learning.. to let go. Let go of the pain that caused me to use food for comfort. Let go of the hurt, let go of the guilt.. let go. Just let go.
I'm learning to show gratitude for my new life. .my rebirth.
I am mindful of what I put into my body, and still allow myself the occasional taste of a treat.
I'm down 107.5 lbs, and feel a million times more blessed to have been given a new lease on life.
My biggest blessing.. biggest AHA moment.. the most thing I'm the most grateful for.. my son and how resilient, compassionate and caring he is. He is my entire world, the reason I had this surgery, to not burden him with my care any longer. When his Dad passed away, my own mortality hit me like a cement truck. Every breath I took, I felt like I was one step away from leaving him without either parent. I had to find a way to stop doing that to myself.. to him.
I was teasing my son, asking him.. what he thought about me dating. He said he thinks his Dad would want me to find a way to love him and let him go from my heart just enough to make room for someone else share my life with. His Dad passed away, will be 4 years in April coming. I said.. well, the other night when I was out with the girls, a young guy wa****ting on me. My son said.. of course he was Mom. You are beautiful, and you looked the prettiest you've ever looked that night. He said.. look at how different you look now! I said.. not that different buddy, but half way there.
He said.. Mom.. know what I miss the most about you losing weight? And I asked him what.. he said... I miss helping you get something you dropped, or putting your socks on for you.. or tying your shoes. You do all of that stuff yourself now, it's like you don't need me anymore. I just hugged him, and told him... that those are the kinds of things he never should have had to do for me, and that I'll always need him.
I'm learning to show gratitude for my new life. .my rebirth.
I am mindful of what I put into my body, and still allow myself the occasional taste of a treat.
I'm down 107.5 lbs, and feel a million times more blessed to have been given a new lease on life.
My biggest blessing.. biggest AHA moment.. the most thing I'm the most grateful for.. my son and how resilient, compassionate and caring he is. He is my entire world, the reason I had this surgery, to not burden him with my care any longer. When his Dad passed away, my own mortality hit me like a cement truck. Every breath I took, I felt like I was one step away from leaving him without either parent. I had to find a way to stop doing that to myself.. to him.
I was teasing my son, asking him.. what he thought about me dating. He said he thinks his Dad would want me to find a way to love him and let him go from my heart just enough to make room for someone else share my life with. His Dad passed away, will be 4 years in April coming. I said.. well, the other night when I was out with the girls, a young guy wa****ting on me. My son said.. of course he was Mom. You are beautiful, and you looked the prettiest you've ever looked that night. He said.. look at how different you look now! I said.. not that different buddy, but half way there.
He said.. Mom.. know what I miss the most about you losing weight? And I asked him what.. he said... I miss helping you get something you dropped, or putting your socks on for you.. or tying your shoes. You do all of that stuff yourself now, it's like you don't need me anymore. I just hugged him, and told him... that those are the kinds of things he never should have had to do for me, and that I'll always need him.
First of all you look beautiful not just because you lost weight but because you look so much happier, you have a sparkle in your eyes now. You are my inspiration that when my time comes I can do this too. I know you already know this but you have an amazing son. And he is lucky to have a mom who loves him enough to take care of herself. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I cryed like a baby, It hit home for me, Keep up the amazing work you are doing. Please keep updating how you are doing, take care.
You are so gorgeous! Your son is a blessing for you. He is right though and you should think about dating. If anything having him see you in this new healthy light, out and about and living is one of the best things you can show him. You are the inspiration for him and your living your life is the best testament. He may have lost his father but he has not lost you or your spirit! I am so glad to hear about how you are doing. You have been an inspirational person for me. I think about you often and you are one of the people who where most influencial to me during my surgery.
What a beautiful post. Of course' the social worker in me has to say that your son may miss doing those things for you now, but if he had to continue looking after you he would eventually come to resent it. Our jobs as parents is to raise independant, responsible adults. You have stepped up to the plate & taken back your lif and also made an incredible step forward in raising your child. What an inspiration you are. .
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