In a HUGE rut!!! : ' (

Wow, has it ever been a long time since my last visit to this forum! It has definitely been way too long!!!!! I am finding myself in a major rut that I can't seem to crawl out of. My weight has increased so much in the last year that I can no longer purchase bottoms at my local plus size store. I am desperate for clothes and am not very comfortable ordering pants online since I don't know exactly what I am getting and how it will fit. I am now a ring a 32 - 34 or a 6X. Does anybody have any suggestions of sites that will ship to Canada?

The real root of my rut is the new swimming pool we just bought so we could stay cool with our 7 year old this summer. It is 42 inches high and comes with a ladder. There is no way in hell I will be stepping foot on that ladder!!!!! That being said, how am I going to get into (and out of) the pool? It makes me sick to think that my weight is once again affecting my ability to do things with my daughter. I am thoroughly disgusted with myself and what I have let myself become.

Hey you... I also have that same self depreciation thing going on about myself.  I am trying to convince myself that it is this attitude that causes the viscious downwards cycle.  I have been on a weight loss plateu rut for over  year and have gained some weight I lost back and I am also not fitting into my clothes as I had last year and feeling miserable and beating myself up about it.  Each day I am trying to change my mindset and remember that today is a new day and today I can being to make small incremental changes that will move me in a positive direction again.  Look at the positives about yourself.  You have a child and you are still mobile enough to enjoy motherhood.  There are some souls who cannot move and would love to. Not to sound too much like a Polly Anna here but try to move past being disgusted with yourself.  That is the first start to moving in a positive direction towards where you were before and actually getting back there. I also cannot fit into my clothes and am totally embarassed to be in shorts let alone a pool. I am trying really hard ot do this myself.  I am running in a 16K race tomorrow which I know that I will be the huge fat girl who comes in dead last but heck I am going out there to try anyways.  As for clothing in your size I have bought some 6X items at Pennington's.  

About the pool.... you enjoy it.  Never mind that stupid ladder.  Try to get in using a footstool or something else which is safer.  Don't let life pass you by and enjoy it and your child.     

karasmom,

 I'm so sorry you are in a rut. There is no worse feeling then being down about yourself. I know I struggle everyday with the same feelings. I too have a 7 year old daughter, and I do try to enjoy my time with her. But it is hard, cause I don't like being out in public, I haven't wore shorts since I was 12. I think it is great that you are willing to get in the pool, I'm kinda jealous, I can't even bring myself to do that. So my mom makes up for me being so uncomfortable in situations. That is something that bothers me, cause she is enjoying stuff with my daughter that I wish I could. I haven't bought any new clothes in about 6 months, I hate shopping. So see you aren't alone, we all are suffering with the same feelings. Some maybe doing good now but have felt that way in the past. One great thing about this forum is we are here to support each other. I love that if I'm having a bad day or week I can vent and someone will pick my spirits up.

You go enjoy your summer with your daughter, it is memories she will cherish as she gets older and I don't think she cares whether you are a 6x or size 6. Our children love us unconditionally, I know I have missed out on a lot with my daughter over the last few years. But I can't get past my own feelings of embarrassment.

Just remember you are a great person and you are beautiful inside and out.

Take care

Try www.plussizefashion.ca  it's a website that lists many different plus size sites that are either in Canada or will ship to Canada.  Also try www.ullapopken.com they also ship to Canada.

Also, a friend of mine bought a set of pool steps for her pool.  They bolt on the same as the ladders do, but you walk down them the same a regular set of steps.

Hope this helps.