My Journey
So last week, I had a fill so I decided to post and keep you all in the loop. I had not gone to Bathurst since May and I had so many things to discuss to Dr, S, I was pretty happy to go.
I finally shown him my lump. I had wrote about it here back in July thinking it was a hernia. Well, it's not a hernia .My port has flipped. It is still accessible and not causing me any pain, so we are leaving it as is for now, but it may need surgery in the future should it become painful.
My ulcers - the ulcers are not near my band and are at the bottom of my stomach (thank god!). I have always had severe acid reflux (I don't anymore since the band) but my stomach is still over producing acid therefore I need to take my medication as prescribed and all should be alright.
So I got a .25 of a fill making me at 6.75cc in my 10cc band. This I can say is probably going to be my last fill.
I have been thinking alot lately about how I got here, and I have to admit I didn't get to where I am the healthy way. While the band has "helped" me lose 133 pounds by means of staying too tight, it wasn't healthy.
When I reach maintenance, my true battle will be to keep a loose band and learn how to truly control myself and my choices. The band can't fix that and never will. Like alot of you, there is no sweet spot for me with the band.It's either I'm always super tight and I can't eat or I'm super loose and I can eat too much.
I guess it's time now I stop relying on the band so much and begin figuring it out why I suffer from food issues in the first place and attempt to control them.
My days of waiting for the band to fix my eating disorders are over. I realize that the band at the end of the day is a very finicky piece of work and that only I can solve my issues.
Anyway, just wanted to let you all know where I am in my journey.
I finally shown him my lump. I had wrote about it here back in July thinking it was a hernia. Well, it's not a hernia .My port has flipped. It is still accessible and not causing me any pain, so we are leaving it as is for now, but it may need surgery in the future should it become painful.
My ulcers - the ulcers are not near my band and are at the bottom of my stomach (thank god!). I have always had severe acid reflux (I don't anymore since the band) but my stomach is still over producing acid therefore I need to take my medication as prescribed and all should be alright.
So I got a .25 of a fill making me at 6.75cc in my 10cc band. This I can say is probably going to be my last fill.
I have been thinking alot lately about how I got here, and I have to admit I didn't get to where I am the healthy way. While the band has "helped" me lose 133 pounds by means of staying too tight, it wasn't healthy.
When I reach maintenance, my true battle will be to keep a loose band and learn how to truly control myself and my choices. The band can't fix that and never will. Like alot of you, there is no sweet spot for me with the band.It's either I'm always super tight and I can't eat or I'm super loose and I can eat too much.
I guess it's time now I stop relying on the band so much and begin figuring it out why I suffer from food issues in the first place and attempt to control them.
My days of waiting for the band to fix my eating disorders are over. I realize that the band at the end of the day is a very finicky piece of work and that only I can solve my issues.
Anyway, just wanted to let you all know where I am in my journey.
Good for you! I've long been a proponent of people who have had WLS also receiving ongoing emotional support too. I mean, we didn't put on all of this weight b/c we have a healthy relationship with food, or living lives free from some sort of psychological issues that keep us from doing what is healthy, and RIGHT for our bodies. I know I get a lot of flack from people for encouraging my fellow WLS'ers to pursue therapy/counselling - and not just in the weeks prior, or week post surgery. Long term!
I think too many of us rely solely on the surgery, and don't put in the very hard work that is required. I think the high failure rates of the varying surgeries sort of proves this point. Just b/c we went another route to lose it doesn't erase our RESPONSIBILITY to take care of ourselves. We can't ***** and moan that we aren't losing weight when we're not doing everything we need to be doing. EVERYTHING. Seeing a mental health professional just makes sense. We're all screwed up when it comes to keeping ourselves healthy. If we're being honest about it.
Anyway, end rant. Proud of you, and you'll do just great - you've got the right attitude!!
:)
I think too many of us rely solely on the surgery, and don't put in the very hard work that is required. I think the high failure rates of the varying surgeries sort of proves this point. Just b/c we went another route to lose it doesn't erase our RESPONSIBILITY to take care of ourselves. We can't ***** and moan that we aren't losing weight when we're not doing everything we need to be doing. EVERYTHING. Seeing a mental health professional just makes sense. We're all screwed up when it comes to keeping ourselves healthy. If we're being honest about it.
Anyway, end rant. Proud of you, and you'll do just great - you've got the right attitude!!
:)
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