Im struggling....need support!

I am now a  little less than 3 weeks from surgery.   I weighed in yesterday and lost 8 lbs.  That helped since I gained 7 in the 2 1/2 weeks I was off optifast.  I need to be down 10 lbs by April 14th, which I know I can do but Im panicking, I had a meltdown today at my parents because Im afraid that even if I get the pounds down that the fat may still be on my liver and cause issues or delay....I'm a closet eater and went out to do an errand but then snuck to taco bell tonight and ate 2 burritos then came home and tried to throw it up.....I feel like the demon is getting me.
  God help me through this....I need this surgery so bad, why am I screwing it up!!!! 
So ashamed
 

You are addicted to food. Most of us are. Don't waist you energy being ashamed, it only leads to more emotional eating. You have been doing this longer than any of us had to, so don't be so hard on yourself. Just get what you need to get back on the optifast diet and do whatever you have to to stick to it. Put a big count down in the fridge, post here daily for encouragement. Don't allow any junk food in the house. Your life is too important to blow it now.

With all that has happened to slow you down for your surgery, its amazing that you havent just given up all together, so you must be a strong lady. Believe in yourself, and be ready to watch those pounds shed. Don't beat yourself up about slipping from the optifast, that stuff gets really nasty tasting after a couple of weeks, and look how long you have been on the stuff, I say kiddos to you. I had the lap done in dec. and am so glad, it is work, but for the first time in years I am losing at every weigh in. Your life is going to change so much when you finally get the lapband, it is like being in a cacoon, and finally breaking through and being free. I look forward to hearing all about your sucess. Be the ant, and let your mantra be " I know I can, I know I can, I know I can".

Angela - don't be ashamed - you are human - we all are - get back on the optifast and keep your eyes on the prize girl! You CAN do it. Your surgery day will be here before you know it. My advice - rid your house of anything that you know you shouldn't eat. Don't go anywhere near any fast food outlets - if you must be out and about - drag someone with you - that way you won't be tempted to just duck in and get something. You do WHATEVER it takes - you have been through too much now to throw in the towel - I know you won't. 3 more weeks - seems like a long time now - but once you are through it and are post-op - it will have been SO worth it. Dr. Christou is one of the best - as I'm sure you know. He won't take any un-neccesary risks - you will be in good hands with him as your surgeon. Meltdowns are OK Angela - and a normal part of how we deal with overwhelming emotions.

Be kind to yourself...

Angela please don't be ashamed at yourself for what happened, first of all we are only human and second you are doing an amazing job to accomplish what you have done so far is great.  So you slipped we all have done that but then you get back up and start a new day....I am so excited for you about your upcoming surgery and please think positive everything will be just fine when you get there and it will go as planned.  Hang in there my dear we are here for you.


Hugs
Beth

Please don't feel ashamed!  You are in good company with respect to the closet eating and food addiction!  This forum is full of men and women in the same boat.  God will help you through this, as will your OH friends!!!  You are only 2 pounds away from your 10.  You are so close!!!!!  Stay stong my friend.  Just think, in less than 3 weeks you will be on the losers bench!!  You can do this!!!!!

 Well Angela this weekend had me fall right off the diet wagon and it hurt! I was 12 days on the preop diet and doing well than we had to go away to take my eldest son to a hockey camp and than the eating started. On Friday night my youngest was up puking all night and than I had the runs, so come Saturday I was looking for that make me feel good feeling and along came the food and I ate without hesitation!!!!! Now I am going to wake up Monday morning and start all over again. Just so you know you are not alone fighting this fight. I just got knocked on my *ss, but I am going to get up and start punching back!


Guilty  Stephanie

What's done is done and beating yourself up over it serves nothing. Trust me when I tell you, I know how you feel. I ate a last week of eating and gained 5 lbs before surgery and mine was post-poned for two months. I was devasted!

But I went on to be successful ~ maintaining a 100 lb loss now for a year.

Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You can ~ and you will do this. As the others have said, if you are like me, we are food addicts.

Angela

Dont beat yourself up - it happens to all of us.

The biggest thing I have learned is that if I fall I get up - if I fall I get up - it doesnt start the next day - or the next meal - you know like in the old days ooppps blew the diet I will start again Monday.

Nope it starts again immediately so if I just ate something that is not the best food choice I wont allow myself to call the day a wash- I have to pick myself up and start immediately again - so that the next hour I am re-focused - drinking my water - getting in my protein - adjusting my food plan for the rest of the day- adding in xtra walking or exercise.

Like someone else mentioned dont be alone to allow the time to closet eat- take a friend or family member on errands- keep junk out of the house and do  not drive down Rothesay Avenue smelling the food joints lol - keep your outings away from temptation - keep your hands busy and go to bed early - I do most of my crazy eating at night- a good nights sleep does wonders for our mood too!

Dont be ashamed hon we have all been there and felt powerless to food and our addictions - focus on your upcoming surgery - do positive encouraging rewarding things for yourself in preperation - mani/pedi - watch some great movies - try to incorporate some walking into plan so that moving will be easier post op - and you know I am a fan of the countdown calendar - each day brings you closer to the prize - ANGELA'S NEW HEALTHY LIFE - A SECOND CHANCE -
A DO -OVER !!!

You are in the best hands with Dr C - you do your part now and he will look after you in Montreal .

We are all here for you !

big hugs
deb