How do I start again?

Since my surgery my marriage has fallen apart and I am financially devistated, I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and it is getting no better.

How do I step back from this and start again?  I am seeing the results of my weight loss, but has slowed almost to a stop, and I am doing the starve all day, binge at night routine.

I just need to hear that someone cares, as I am all alone in this.  Has anyone else had this kind of pressure and made it?  Where do I turn?

Hi Chrissy

I havnt had lapband surgery or any surgery yet for that matter...soon April 14th.  I understand anxiety and depression though as I have struggled all my life with it.  It's hard to deal with and I can only imagine with the other pressures of relationships and finances involved how you must be feeling.  Remember, you are a success story...you now have the tools to get to your weight loss goal, that is half the battle as I have found.  Make small goals for yourself even if they are daily goals or weekly goals.  Start making goals in other aspects of your life as well if you can.  I'm sure you have successes going on, you are just not seeing them through the tears.  Wipe the tears and take care of yourself....you deserve this!   You are never alone, you have us.  Keeping talking and posting, the girls on here are a wonderful support team

take care

Angela 

Chrissy I suffered from post pardum depressiona fte rmy last two children it was extremly bad with pychsois. I had lost a child before them and was told I had post tramuatic stress. My heart  goes out to you. I have struggled with my weight my whole life . I agree with Angela small goals at first and they do not even have to be weight related.

Chrissy, you are never alone.  You introduced me to this website and I have gotten a tremendous amount of support and encouragement in my first week.  It has been a difficult week but I made it through.  I had one "slip" and I just put that day behind me and kept on going.  My heart goes out to you as well.  As you know I have depression issues too.  They were diagnosed as post partum but I think the symptoms were there long before I got pregnant let alone delivered Kara.  I agree about the small goals.  I have made most of my presurgery goals kind of consistent with the times of day.  The first goal is to not drink any pop for 2 weeks.  There is no other diet change, just that one thing.  The next is to have a healthy breakfast and go crap free until lunch for 2 weeks.  The next one is to add a healthy lunch and no crap until supper.  The next one is to have and healthy supper and the last one is to have no crap after supper.  I am hoping that these are manageable chunks of time and that 2 weeks is long enough for me to adjust before moving on to the next one.  I just find that it is too much to try to tackle it all at once.  I am kind of going back to the philosophy I used when I weaned Kara off the bottle.  I start with the least important feeding of the day and move through to the most difficult one.  I am like you in that night time is a bad time for me. 

Chrissy, I know you are strong and I have witnessed your determination.  You can do this!!!  One day at a time!!  You helped me find this path, I hope we can travel it together.

Please take care of yourself.

I can relate Crissy. my bf left me a year before I had surgery because he said I was too fat. I  have a disability and can no longer work so I live on workers comp disability. It is way less than 1000 a month so I know financial difficulities.
 
But looking back at my relationship with him I see now how I was more unhappy with someone who found fault with me. I am lonely though. I don't really go anywhere. My back is too painful to really get involved in activities (even bingo is too much for me). I find the nights worse too. I often want to eat even though I am not even hungry.
 
I am looking forward to spring when I can get outside more and try to keep myself busier. I have been in a stall since November and have not lost an ounce since. I feel sure though once it gets warmer outside I will feel better.
 
Like you too I am far far from my family and I have no extended family in this province. See you are not alone.
 
I have told no one about my wls so I don't really have a support system. But... I do have all of my family here at OH and I rely so much on those guys. I almost feel like 3 or 4 people here are so much like my family that I never feel totally alone.

Still though, the nights are hard.

i wish we could set up a get together with those who live close. it might help all of us to know there is support for each one of us who are going through differnt stages of this journey.  Since my surgery cancellation last Thursday, I gained 9 pounds as of today...I am devastated and sobbed to my mom and husband then went and had KFC for supper...like WHAT!  Now I'm mad at myself...back to the shakes tomorrow before it is too late

Must be something in the air.  I had a terrible day too.  I thought about eating all day.  I hate myself and everyone around me. 

Angie. I would love to organize a get together, but I am on call this week so I can get called away at any time.

Starting again tomorrow is exactly the right thing to do. As is stating it here. Face your transgressions, but don't be too hard on yourself. The guilt will drive you to the fridge. This is not the first time you have fallen down, but from now on, you will always get up and keep fighting. Your surgery will help make it easier. You may ask how I know your past patterns......honey, we have all been there. I still fall down, even after WLS, but now I get back up and lose what I have gained. You will too....starting now.

Having starved your body, you will gain like crazy when you start eating. This happens to all of us to some degree. After surgery, you either gain a couple of pounds or stop losing (most of us anyway). I & many others here have questioned why we were not losing weight post op, despite eating much, much less than we did before we started the shakes. You are very vulnerable right now.

You can call me if you wish....I have a better idea! We could chat on SKYPE. It is free. If you have a video cam, we can see each other too. I am going to Saint John next week- not yet sure what day yet. Perhaps we could get together for coffee.

Oh Angela my love, don't be mad at yourself. Nobody else is mad at you. This does happen. After all you are human and you had an awful shock. If you are like the most of us, food is a great comfort as long as we are eating. It is after we are done eating that it begins to eat us.

  Yup, you slipped and you might slip again too before you have surgery. It happens. Now, dry your eyes, pick yourself up, straighten your hair and your face and forgive yourself. There is no one here at OH who will be even half as hard on you as you are on yourself. 

You slipped, OK you slipped. Now promise yourself that you will do better tomorrow . There's nothing you can do about what has happened today but tomorrow you start anew.

If you get an urge to eat something like that again, stop and come to OH and see if anyone is here to chat to and try to distract yourself from the feeling. Is there something you can have in the house to munch on when these feelings take over. I buy "Marie biscuits"  at the dollar store. They have only 5 grams of sugar and are not sweet but are a great crunch when I need it. BONUS they only cost 1 dollar!!

Now stop being so hard on you. Realize the mistake and move past it. We have ALL been there.