Back to lurking...

I think i am going to go back to being a lurker.  I have had to defend myself yet again and not worth my while.  I stopped writing before for the same reason and honestly it's just easier to read innocently than to make comments and then have to defend them.    If anyone wants to chat I am open to private messages.  Take care,  P

Oh Penelope, don't stop writing. I, for one, look so forward to your postings. If you feel you have to defend yourself, just don't . Don't bother responding to fools. They are a waste of your time. Just ignore them. I do. Believe me I get into some heated discussions on other boards and anything I feel is beneath me, I don't bother to respond to. Penelope, it's people like you that newbies and seekers need to hear from, to hear of your journey.The good , the  bad and the uneventful. Everything is a part of the journey called Lap band. It is important too. Everything you have to say is of value to someone in some stage of their journey. I read on Main board and things I would not even think to ask about, someone else will ask or someone else will comment and I will think, OMG, That's exactly how I feel! See, you just never know what you will say that will help someone else. 

For an example, awhile back I stopped losing weight. I didn't know why and thought I was all done losing but I didn't want to post that blaming myself for somehow screwing up my tool. I sat here and felt bad about getting this and then messing it up. I went on main board one day and sure enough, someone else posted the exact question I was wondering. I went there and read all the responses and came to find out this is normal at this stage and I did not mess it and will go back to losing in a while. I felt so much better. But see, if nobody else had posted this I would be still sitting here feeling bad and thinking I had screwed up. Now I know I haven't and am relieved.   

Ignore the fools Penelope, and rely on your friends here. We got your back. Post. remember how important these post were to you when you were waiting and a newbie. Your experience is valued.

Aren't we all adults in here? So many ppl have sent me messages stating they feel they are "walking on eggshells" on this board and I for one am sick of it too because you can't say something without being "scoled" or "attacked" or "whatever". 

I'm not saying your the culprit at all, but I think we can and should all make more of an effort when responding to posts to not sound rude or to put people down when we reply, myself included. 

Have we forgotten what this place is about? It's about supporting people. It's about supporting those who make mistakes and those who succeed. That's why I'm here anyway. I'm not here to police people on how often they get stuck, how much water they drink, whether they follow the rules or not, in the end everyone is responsible for their own journeys. I'm here to support those who need it and to celebrate with those who don't.

People have bad and good days, and I've had a handful of both. Personally, when I break a rule, I don't need anyone pointing it out because I already know. Some people may WANT it  pointed out, I don't know. That's the thing, you don't know who does and who dosen't. That's why being more sensitive is crucial because you don't know if you're putting someone down or not. I'm also guilty of this and am truly making an effort to improve judging others.

If I would have been Kitty, and you would have pointed out my mistake, I would honestly have felt like you were saying you've been perfect and would of asked you whether you have been appointed my band police. Did Kitty see it the same way? I don't know. That's what I'm saying, we all have to be careful on how we say things because everyone is  and takes things differently.

We have all had our chocolate, ice cream, broken a rule while on mushies/liquids, eaten too many calories one day, or whatever.


No one is perfect here. Not one person.

MY ISSUE is that it wasn't kitty that was offended, it was someone else *****ad the post.  I honestly made my post with humour in my head and felt i knew kitty well enough that she would have taken that with a grain of salt...and given me a cute little sarcastic comeback which i had expected....however....someone else felt it necessary to put her two cents worth in where it didn't pertain to her.    she has no idea what relationship i have with kitty.  anyway...  back toyour point about walking on eggshells.  you say you are tired of walking on eggshells which i agree but at the same time you say that we should be more diplomatic in our comments or responses.  hto me is a form of walking on eggshells.  i'd rather not have to worry about it.  those who know me, know that this is my way and appreciate me that way....but on here, in writing obviously it doesn't come across that way....so to avoid offending those *****ad the posts, whether they pertain to them or not,  I think its best to keep my thoughts to myself.  I'm very unhappy that this is the way this was perceived and sorry to those who were offended...however, i think its still best if i just pm those that i wish to communicate with.  I really am not here to hurt anyone or anything else of that nature.  thanks for writing, i appreciate your comments.  p

And I agree with you, but like Anita, when I read your post, I read it to be quite rude and Kitty  never replied so I thought to myself "Jeez" and I felt really bad for Kitty. Maybe Kitty didn't even care at all, who knows?

All I want to avoid is this board to have more drama than there already is. Already people are crucifying Anita for putting in her two cents, but  everyone seems to be doing the same thing anyway so instead of being mean to each other, calling others  fools, saying they have no friends, saying they can't read post from a writer's perspective, or being just downright mean, let's all get along like the adults we are. This is not a war, no one is obligated to take sides, etc.

This was just two strong willed people stating their opinions. This is not about how many friends you have or whatever. This board is for support for weight loss surgery, bottom line.

That's why I'm here anyway.

                P . don't let people drag you into their drama, it will cause you stress raise your cortisol levels and stop your weightloss. Get your D and be happy like me!

Oh for crying out loud.

I'm not a fool (#1), and I'm sorry but your post did come off as rude.  If it wasn't meant to be (which I'm SURE it wasn't), then no biggie.  As we all know, we have to be more careful online than off b/c intonation and meaning isn't always apparent.  I don't really know you, and loads of other people don't either, and more than just one person reads these posts. That's all I meant.  We just need to be careful.  If Charline wasn't offended that's great, but do you think it might scare off others who are timid in the first place to post - and post about a "failure" at that?

I lurk all the time - I still get a lot out of it.   But don't disappear because you're mad at me :)  Onward and upward!

 

Anitalyn, I was not aiming at you when I said "fools". It was aimed in a general fashion. I did not read the post that was considered offensive so I don't know who wrote what. Don't take offense to the"fool" statement. I was telling Penelope not to be bothered by what people think or say and if she feels she needs to defend her words, to just not reply to them. 

 If you guys think this site is quick to jump please do not post on main board because on there people are VICIOUS. And I do mean VICIOUS. If you post there you are stuck someone will actually jump on you and call you stupid and about 6 more people will jump in and say you either had the wrong surgery or that you are too stupid to follow rules and you shoud never have had this surgery in the first place. See what I mean about VICIOUS? I have seen it happen so frequently on that board. I have NEVER found that on this board. This board is wonderful, supportive and kind by comparison.

I have no problem with  confrontation so main board does not bother me in the least but the first time I was ganged up on shocked  me to no end and caught me totally off guard.  Needless to say by now I give a good as I get.  Believe me when I say I can hold my own in any argument.

No harm no foul, Mary! :)

Please don't stop writing P. Your posts are helpful, supportive and are part of what makes this local board tick. There are a small number of us here - and we all have something to contribute. I don't know what was said or not said - I didn't see it - but you are just as important and vital to this group as any one else. Please don't go!