Please kick my a$$!

I guess I just have to confess.  I have fallen off the wagon two days short of the end of my puree period, and I did it intentionally by going to McDonald's and having a hamburger and fries, plus, you got it a DIET PEPSI.

I was mad at my husband for going back to Newfoundland.  I felt abandoned and generally wanted everything to fall apart.  My daughter tried to talk me out of it, but I lied and said I was on solids now.

I feel like I am walking off the edge of a cliff with my eyes wide open.  Self sabotage.  Always fail.  Never get it right...........and I don't want to make those feelings stop.

Need sleep.  Need to be told shame on me.  Letting everyone down.  Will stay fat forever at this rate.  Die young.  Leave my 12 year old without me.

So sad I could cry.  So mad I think I will.

Sweetie, you need to wake up, asap. This surgery will not do it all for you. In fact, I know some people who gave up on their band and failed.

If you want to succeed at this surgery,  you have to change. Take the way you ate before surgery and throw it in the trash because it's over.

This does not mean you will never have bad foods or enjoy food again. I eat McDonald's sometimes, not often, and usually I just have a few nuggets. That's a treat for me. I still eat chocolate too, I do eat pretty much everything in moderation.

You need to listen to your surgical team. You have to give them all control and follow their instructions. They are there to help you and to make sure you succeed but you have to follow their rules.

This said, you had a slip and it dosen't mean it's over for you. Get back on the wagon and hold your head high that you can do this. Start again today. Evaluate why you had this surgery, why you are sabotaging yourself and whether you need further help. You mentionned your husband is away so maybe you are an emotional eater so start working on that and get help if needed. Remember  the band will not fix your mind or emotions, only your stomach. The mind is way more powerful than the stomach so it's very easy to fool yourself into eating the wrong foods.

You confessed and it takes alot of character to do that.  I applaud your honesty!

Good luck!

BAD GIRL!!!
Enough of that - today is a NEW day - look at it as a fresh beginning - that one fall off the wagon ISN'T the end of it for you - rather a reminder of how easy it is to go back to emotional eating. Go back to your plan - you CAN do it! And if you need to cry - do it - but remember - there ARE better days ahead. You have this awesome chance to feel better, live longer. If you can't do it for YOU - do it for your 12yr old. And here's a hug for ya. We ALL have crappy days. Hope today things look better for you. Remember - one day at a time. Good luck!.

Chrissy
I will not tell you that you did wrong but like Mary has said  look at this as a new beginning. It is easy to go back to emotional eating and if you are like me you got your call for surgery faster than you thought and did not take time to prepare for it.

Today I stoped pureed and began real food and I will be honest in the last couple of weeks there where a few times that I chewed a cracker or ate a chocolate and what I found was that they went down real easy easier than pureed chicken.
 
I realized that it would be so easy to eat bad however I had to stop and think about why I  had the surgery I am only 39 and I want to be healthy I do not want to look like Cindy Crawford(though that would be a bonous) I just want to be able to run with my kids.

By eating the bad food you are not hurting your hubby and by telling us I know you know that if you feel like doing it again or do it again and just need to blow steam off email me or call me we are all human and there will be many steps to take in our journey we are just beginning there will be times we do not make the best choices but do not beat yourself up over this. Start today at better choices.

Take care of yourself
Shauna

Thanks for beating me with a stick and telling me to get back on plan.  I guess I needed to confess and clear the air.

Back on plan today.  Drinking lots of water.  Using protein powder to up my fullness.  Trying out the new Wii today too.

I appreciate everything you said, thanks girls!

I am finding I have more hunger. I spent half my lunch hour trying to figure out what to eat for the next three days LOL. I have aquired aliking to cottage cheese so that is not to bad. I went to the groc store on my second half of my lunch hour and could not beleive the price of eating healthy green grapes cost me almost $7 and there are not that many in the bag. It is a good thing I cannot eat as much as I use to .... should save alot of 4 right there:)

taht should say $ not 4 forgot to hit the shift key :)

Welcome to bandster hell! This is a very tough stage. Your band is not giving you much restriction, and your appetite is returning. If I were to be totally honest, I have pigged out on sweets over Xmas. My band is empty and I went 3 weeks without being able to swallow any food- even puree, and I have been very depressed (I usually try to eat my way out of depression-  the only time I feel good is when I an eating something tasty, especially sweet). BUT I get up everyday and resolve to do my best that day. Don't beat yourself up, does no good, lowers your self esteem, and that leads to more eating. Pick yourself up, dust off the crumbs (LOL), and start over. You don't fail because you fall, you fail because you fall one more time than you get up.  I really, really want to lose the weight I have picked up in the last 2 weeks before I go for a fill on January 21st, but if I don't, I will go in, take the scolding and keep going.

Great advise girls!  I do have the empty belly - big appetite going on right now.  I want to eat, eat, eat...and the only thing holding me together is popping on here to see how everyone is doing.  Thanks again!

You are being way to hard on yourself, I was banded around the same time as you, and though I havent gone to McDonalds, I too cheated a few times, melted some choclate in my mouth, had a sip of pop, and sometimes did not puree my food enough. I havent been on track , what with xmas, company, and just not feeling all that good, today was the first day, I felt in control, did my exercize on the W11 fit plus, (really like the biking) and am drinking my water. I am not going to beat myself up. Tommorrow I get my staples out, and get weighed, I didnt lose much, maybe 6 lbs. but I was drinking a lot of choc. milk, eggnog, etc, high fat full liquids, and was more interested in getting through the first stage of healing. Your bad day is behind you, and you can start fresh now, you  are doing well, this isnt easy, and you are never going to be perfect, who is?  This slip seems to be a reaction to your husband going to NFLD. Does he work there? I am sure that it isnt easy for him to leave his family, I dont know the situation, but maybe you both need to step in each others shoes for awhile, is that possible? Girl do not be so hard on yourself, you are not going to change a lifetime of eating , emotional eating, or not, in just a few weeks, frankly I think you are doing fine, forget yesterday, smile., laugh, get over it.(sending a hug your way) Keep in touch,