Where is she?

Has anyone heard from Michelle the Avon lady? I have not seen nor heard from her in months. She was waiting for DS woith Dr. Savoie. She has been waiting for awhile. I don't know if she moved or decided to self pay or changed her mind about wls altogether. She was a font of information about vitamins and nutritional stuff. I really miss her.

I sent her an e-mail a week or so ago and she has not replied.  I miss her too. I am also a bit concerned.

Yeah, I too have dropped her a note out of concen. She is the tupperware lady too, right? I wonder what is up with her. No-matter what she has decided to do, it is unusual she hasn't been hanging around the site. hmmmmm.

Concerned,

Sugarbear

Hey Charlene, found your email - thought is was message from the Online Support meeting n with my Champions group meetings on Weds I generally don't sign in to the online meeting, sorry.

She is fine guys - just biding her time waiting - I talk to her from time to time on facebook I will send her a message and ask her to drop by - I will tell her that she is missed!

deb

Thanks Deb, that would be great.Please tell her that she is really missed because she always had so much to offer and was a great source of encouragement and was on here a LOT! She is sorely missed and I along with many others would love for her to come back.

OMG, Deb, you are doing fan freaking tastic!!! 156 pounds! wow! Do I remember correctly or am I imagining but did you already have plastic surgery?  If so, how was is?  Dish, girl!

Hey Maggie

I will let Michelle know!

Nope no plastics yet - its necessary I think personally for me to complete this journey - have a lot of hanging skin that makes me detest my body - so I dont see the success I see the hanging skin- plays games with your mind or at least for me it does so I dont see my real size of size 8 - yes an 8 - that is small and if someone else told me that is what they are I would go omg an 8 wow thats not in my wildest dreams!

So I dont see it - so I am working on the mental stuff before plastics as I know that like any surgery it wont be a magic fix and I want to go into plastics with a more realistic expectation- being type "A" personality and always needing to be perfect - my expectations are too much and I dont cut myself any slack- working on it though and with the retreat I just attended I did learn a lot and picked up some great tools and exercises to work on with mental health/attitude post op ! Learning from long term post ops - what they would do different - what they did that didnt work etc - wow sure helps with the journey!

hugs
deb

If you know of any good mental self image exercises, please dish.   I too am battling perfectionism and I think I am winning...or at least doing a bunch better than the old me. My biggest downfall has been after losing a bunch of weight, I would slip up and I would essentially give up. Then the weight would pile on. This time I just pick myself up and tomorrow, heck, the next meal is a new start.

Charline

A couple things......

* be gentle with ourselves- speak to ourself like we would a child - when I child is beginning to walk and falls down- we say "oooppsey daisy" - "good try wow you are a smart baby" - "ok lets try again - good first try etc etc"..... all kind and sweet and encouraging and very supportive.
Most of us are our own worst enemy - critic - very sabotaging negative talk when we stumble or slip up - so that is great that you are able to pick yourself back up and the next meal is the start - not the next day or Monday or after a holiday!

* Take lots of pictures and dont just have them on your computer print hard copies - make a brag book or your own personal book - look at your pictures practice complimenting your features-  praise your accomplishments - be like you would be looking at your best friends pics after she has lost weight and how full of compliments you would be towards her! Try to see what the world see's - see how much you weigh - how  less of you there is - focus on the size of your pants - your top - how great is it you are that size - its also great to have before pics - measurements go a long way too- I recently found my measurements I took the morning of surgery - I never knew where I put them - anyway I found them and some 14/15 months later I finally took a new set of measurements! WOW

* Keep a gratitude journal of your accomplishments - praise yourself for the new healthier you and all that you can do.

* Mentally some books say to nurture your inner child - not all of us have the same baggage but a lot of us who were/are morbidly obese had a painful childhood - nurturing that lil girl that maybe didnt get all that she needed is a step towards loving ourselves.

* My new gig is to stand in front of the mirror naked & clothed - and try to see my body how people see it - when a family member says to me - you are getting too thin- or dont lose anymore weight you are too small - I about come undone I cant imagine what they are seeing - my god cant they see the pani - the sagging butt - the boobs that would sit on my lap without two bra's yes I said 2 bras- one for support which is the inner one with some padding and the outer one is a sports bra to keep all flappables and lose bits in place!  And my arms ugh dont get me started!

Ok so at retreat someone put it like this : - you see the skin and all the imperfections and what you still need to do /lose-  have plastics done etc etc - ok what  they see is the clothing size you are wearing - they see how much you actually weigh and if you ask people they usually guess less- lol

ok so if I try to focus on someone I know that wears a size 8  - omg that is so small - well I wear a size 8 - reality chk - ok easier to write then to do - but I am working on it!

My wow of the day I bought a pair of levi's size 6 yup the 8 was too big - so I bought
size 6 petite - I had to sit down in the dressing room and convince myself to bring the 6's in - I brought in 10's & 8's - I could tell the 10's were way to big but I still bring the larger size in -  when I put the 8's on I thought they dont look right -- oh they are too big after much self examination! 

Yet to go back out and get the 6's was too overwhelming - the clerk offered to get me another size and said no thats ok - cause my negative thinking was she is going to say size 6 ya right lady !

So I walked around for a while and then I brought back in another size 8 and the size 6 - put on the 6 and thought wow they fit and were comfortable - I cant say I stood there saying omg I look great - not there yet - but buying the smaller size is a big step - when I was in grade 7- I remember that I wore a junior size 5 and some 7's  -so its been a while!

* we have to learn to take compliments and with close family tell them that you find it hard and if they compliment you and you say ya ok but- ask them to remind you that you are working on learning how to take a compliment and to just say thank you!

Its a journey - a huge journey and I am not perfect god knows and I will never be . I am just trying to not repeat the same mistakes that lead me to such sadness and being so unhealthy in the past - 

This is something that stuck with me from my retreat:

                                                 REACHING YOUR DREAMS TAKES A LOT OF TIME- DEDICATION AND PERSISTANCE !         CHANGE IS A PROCESS THAT REQUIRES AN OPEN MIND.......
                                     

take care
deb

Thanks for all the info. I have been doing so much better in the self esteem department. For the first time in years and years make-up, curling my hair, skin care, and curling my hair are all things I do everyday. I also use permanent hair color (used to use temp color because it didn't have roots and I couldn't be bothered doing the color once a month- I was not worth it). I take more care in choosing what I am going to wear. Before I was happy with "it's clean and it fits". Now I want to look good. I seldom have bouts of depression- negative self talk is drastically reduced. I like compliments and when I start to feel down or I think I need a boost, I will even fish for a compliment or two. I seldom reply to a compliment with  why it isn't true or I didn't deserve it or by putting myself down etc.  All this is such a big change for me. I was always pretty good covering it up  my poor self esteem (or I like to thing so). some things still trigger negative, self destructive thoughts, but like everyone else, I am a work in progress.