Struggles

I am quite surprised that all you banded peeps adjusted so well to the band. Or maybe you just didn’t post about your struggles?

 

I am having a hard time. I’m not cheating or eating around the band at all and have no desire to do so; but I am having a hard time adjusting to this new lifestyle.

 

I don’t really feel like eating at all to be honest. I get hungry and everything, but it takes so much patience to eat that I get bored. I have to force myself to eat and I can’t eat the cup of food that I should be eating, I get full way before.

 

Food no longer tastes good to me. I’ll eat something I used to love (and my head gets all excited!) and once I begin eating it, it no longer has any appeal.

 

Also, “banster hell", well I am healed right now and NO way could I eat all the things I used to eat. I definitely feel a band there and if I eat too fast, trust that I am reminded!

 

I begin solids on August 19^th but I am scared to eat. Right now I am eating things I don’t really need to chew and it’s going down fine, but I’m scared of eating solids and getting stuck! I don’t know what a small bite is! Each bite I take I’m like “too small or too big?" “Too slow or too fast?"

I blogged every day for the beginning of my journey as my memory is very short term. I don't know if you've ever read about my journey but we're definitely all different. I remember being frustrated in the beginning but after my second fill, things got easier. I wish they were easy now! I'm eating way too many slider foods and I seem to have found a way around the band. I know what I need to do - and I know how to do it but to get back to it? Man, I struggle.

I have always posted about every struggle I have - but on the main lap band board moreso. You'll never find anyone with a more open book than I :)

What are you having the most trouble with? Missing the "enjoyment" factor of food? Why are you scared to eat? Share and maybe we can help ....

Like Maggie said below, maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t given myself much time.

 

Right now I am on mushies and to be honest it really grosses me out. The only thing that doesn’t gross me out is stuff that is already blended (Chili, Mashed potatoes, etc). I knew it was going to be difficult in advance because I never let food touch on my plate so maybe it’s just this phase that is really giving me a hard time because two weeks is a long time when you can’t think of anything to eat that doesn’t gross you out. I can’t blend eggs or whatever else because just the thought makes my stomach churn. I know I should suck it up, but it just really grosses me out. Even liquids phase was hard because I’m not a juice drinker, so really the only thing I drank pre band was water (I quit soda about 2 months before the band)

 

I think once I can settle into a routine I’ll be better (once I can have solids). There is definitely no enjoyment with food anymore. Things I used to love really have no appeal anymore. Not even ice cream (to be honest, I stopped eating ice cream a year ago because I caught severe food poisoning off Chinese food and I had eaten ice cream for dessert so I was sick for days and it really turned me off of it).

 

Food still has appeal in my brain, but once I begin eating, the job gets tedious and I can’t even finish my portion. I guess that’s good. Psychologically it’s been difficult because I had a bit of a food addiction, so it’s an adjustment process for sure. I used to be a “volume can’t stuff it in face enough eater" so not eating face or big bites has been very hard.

 

Also the timing issue is really bothering me. I can’t seem to find a good balance. I either eat too fast or too slow, so I am having a hard time finding a good balance with the 1 cup per 30 minutes. If I chew chew chew, and chw and take a break between bites, there is no way I can finish within 30 minutes. If I eat faster, then I finish before the 30 minutes.

 

Anyway I’m doing ok, but it has not been very easy. I am not scared to eat solids, but once I have restriction I think I will be scared. I had restriction for the first 2 weeks and even drinking liquids was hard because you could only have small sips so I can’t imagine eating meat, like chicken.

 

Krista, I always read your post and I know that you are very honest with your struggles. What I mean is the adjustment process in the very beginning and unfortunately I was not around when you were banded.

 

I did read your journal entries. Sorry to hear you are struggling not to eat around the band, maybe a fill would help? I don’t know really, but do you think you could ever cheat yourself around the band to get back to the weight you were before? I think that if a person fluctuates 10 pounds once they reach their ideal weight that it’s pretty normal.

I hope things get MUCH better for you when you get back to the solids and can eat more of a variety.
Without a doubt, the first month post-op is darned boring :)

With respect to my issues, no a fill wouldn't help. When I eat the proper foods, my restriction is great. It's me making insane choices. I had a good day yesterday and so far so good today so I've just got to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Could I get back to the weight I was before. Most likely. I was up 26 lbs before I turned it around this time which was pretty "sobering". Would I let myself get that far? Gosh, I hope not!

Keep talking to us ~ we're listening and we're here to lean on.

Don't be afraid to eat. Most of what you are experiencing now is as a result of a bit of swelling at the band. Solids will go down just fine. You shouldn't get stuck because there isn't anything in your band to cause you to get stuck. For the first 6 months I could eat lots of things that I can't eat since my last fill. Now I get stuck every time I break a band rule. Too big a bite- stuck. Eat too fast- stuck. Eat bread or any baked goods- stuck. Eat while doing something else- stuck. Don't chew enough- stuck.  I do miss being able to grab a bit on the run, but I know if I do, I will pay.

Give yourself some time. You are not even on solids yet and not even a month out.  It take about 6  weeks to heal. Chances are good that you won't feel the same way 3 months from now.  Give yourself  a bit more time! 

So sorry to read about your struggles so early in your journey.  Maybe you can try looking at the web site "the world according to Eggface". You might find some variety and good recipies there to mix and match so you won't be so bored.  I am on a 1200 cal diet at the moment, at least until I see the surgeon, which consists of liquids all day then 4 0z of protien and salade and veggies for supper. Talk about boring. The only variation is between chicken or fish. BUT it is only for 5 or 6 weeks. I can live with that. I know you can do it. You have been wanting this for so long. Keep the end result in your mind's eye and it might make things easier. Keep on talking to us and we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Hang in there girlie

Sugarbear