My relationship with food

I was a food addict. I loved the stuff. I'd daydream about recepies and when I was invited to a pot luck, I'd make my famous seafood chowder with homemade tea biscuits. It wouldn't last very long. I experimented with recpies and loved to cook it eat it and even dream about how food tasted. Then I had RNY surgery.

I always wondered what it meant when someone said they didn't care if they ate or not. Afterall it was my whole life. I couldn't imagine how it felt when someone said they couldn't eat something. I could eat anything and always wanted to. To be so full I felt sick was a temporary condition. A couple hours later  I could eat again.

It has been a bit over 5 months since I had RNY and my life has changed. I no longer daydream about food. Some days I want to eat all day but I distract myself. If I get hungry now I can eat or I actually have a choice. I can choose not to eat and I no longer suffer the hunger pangs and feeling sick because I am so hungry. If I don't or can't eat, the hunger will dissapate. I no longer have the "I gotta eat" feeling.

Awhile back Deb mentioned she thougt of food as fuel only. I had a hard time trying to get my head around that. Now I understand what she meant. Food is no longer a feel good option for me. It is fuel. I don't think of food and salivate. Because of my surgery my tastebuds have changed and I don't really like most foods. The foods I used to absolutely crave most of them I can no longer eat.

I don't know how it is for bandsters, but I no longer "diet". I don't even think about food anymore. The taste I remember is not what food tastes like now. When I am hungry, I eat something. If I have a craving for something, I eat a bit of it but chances are it will taste bland so I won't want it again.

If bandsters have to diet or make good food choices, I'm glad I had RNY. I never could watch what I ate. I always fell off every diet wagon I was ever on. This is different.

RNY takes a lot of getting used to because of the changes in your life. I'm not there yet but am slowly getting there. I'm glad I have OH to come to. I'd be lost without it.

This am I weighed 204 so I am 5 pounds from my first goal.  I'm still maggie from Willow grove

Well,  I don't feel quite like you do about food but my attitudes have changed and continue to change. Food  does not hold the same draw for me, but I still enjoy  good food. The difference is that it doesn't dominate my world. The strange thing is I now enjoy cooking more than I have in years. I have been cooking more, making jams, preparing food on the weekend for the coming week, and reading recipes again (looking for band friendly tasty treats). However, I seldom think of eating unless I am really hungry.  Even my main weakness, sweets, don't hold the same appeal. I still love them, but I am happy with an very small amount and I don't  often think of having them.

Maggie, you are such a brave person. To bare your heart and soul as you did.  It almost sounds like therepy for you.  You are an inspiration indeed. Keep up the great work as you approach your first goal. Congratulations.

Regards,

Sugarbear.

Isn't it wonderful Charline to be free from food addiction. To actually have a choice. I am so glad that you still enjoy food and cooking it , Must be liberating for you too. I didn't understand that the band can be similar to RNY in that way. 

Thank you Beaverblue. You have such insight. Yes I guess this site is therapy for me. I haven't told anyone about this surgery so I really don't have a support network so this is it. My sons know but I really can't burden them with this.