???

Hi All,

       Recently, hubby has reached the obese category which he is seriously sensitive about now. He has prediabetes, depression, asthma, mild high pressure with family history of Heart & lung disease. Exercise and Diet have become not enough so we've been talking about WLS options for him. I know RnY or Ds is not open for discussion(very opposed to restructuring his insides) so that leaves VsG or lapband. Should I drop the WLS issue with him I don't think he's ready?

Thanks,
Laurie 


**his bmi is 34.8

Point him at the internet . He should find out the criteria in your province (making an assumption that our province has criteria) which is usually  BMI and/or co morbidity. If he qualifies he should research & research and armed with knowledge, (if he wants to proceed) go to the doctor once he knows what he wants to do,

It may be just me, but as a former nurse, I am adamantly opposed to trying to convince someone else to have obesity surgery. It took me many many years before I was prepared to go to that extreme route. It is an extreme route. Any surgery is. My son is very obese and has sniffed around the idea of surgery. I do not  glamourize it because it is a serious step. I've had serious complications and am still not having fun with this yet. I may in time come to love my surgery or may always regret it. I'd hate for him to have wls with my blessings only to have complications or surgery induced depression and I be the one who pushed it. It should be totally his idea and his option with very little input from anybody else. Surgery is a huge life altering step. Even banding has some serious complications for some people. It isn't as simple as a band-aid.

If anybody had pushed me into this, I'd be up for murder right about now. Just my opinion.

I'd drop the weight loss issue if I were you. He knows he is overweight , he doesn't need to be reminded. He is an adult and he knows (or can ask his doctor)  what is options are when he is ready. The key being "when he is ready" and that may take years or it may be never.

Ok from the PM's I've gotten its misunderstood. I am not trying to push hubby into WLS! I'm aware what damage that can do . I'm uncomfortable as I see he's unsure.

Just be supportive of whatever decision he does make. You are obese so you definately know how it feels as do all of us here on OH. He may never feel he wants wls. That's his right. He may need years of dieting and who knows, he might just try one that actually works for him. Stranger things have happened!  Just continue to be your  understanding self.

In NB a  BMI of 34 would not Qualify for surgery.

Hi,
As your hubby does know the option exists - normally for those iwth BMI over 40, then I would leave it with him to decide if and when he might want to take that step.

About the bmi..now that is an interesting topic.  I would imagine that there is no place that would pay for the WLS unless the BMI is over 40, but I could be wrong.  What is interesting is that in some countries...and I see if very often in Belgium...there is a strong increase in WLS Banding for those with BMIs of 35ish.

I find this especially interesting because for many of us that managed to get to 40, 50 or 60 BMIs...most of us if we go back to a time when we had 35...we already certainly felt our weight was out of control and we were struggling to keep it there.


So for me, I often wish that I had of tackled the problem at a bmi much lower then when I did.  Mind you...I kow I  would have paid for it myself.  But at the end of the day for me I was self paid anyway..so it would just have meant tackling the problem before it got as bad as it did.

You ask about your hubby...but I am sure we all have loved ones...who are overweight...all we can do is demonstrate the positives and negatives by living our WLS...and they need to entirely decide on their own how they manage their weight.   

Keep us posted on this topic...it is very interesting....and something many of us deal with.  Be it with spouses, children, relative or friends.

Take Care,
C

Sorry Laurie...I get long winded... so to specifically answer your question ...

Drop it. 

He has enough info now...so Let him mull it over for as long as it takes.  Let him control his destiny.  He will be much more successful for it in the long run.

Do you have any local support groups...that is what often give people themost info...to meet people face to face who are living the life.