My Goodbye is saying hello to more pounds!

At this point, I can't stop thinking of Ann and her goodbye session that cost her 14 pounds prior to her surgery.  Ann, my angel, I'm right there where you were and I just can't seem to shake out of it!

I don't know if you all remember but awhile back, I was very successful and had lost 20 pounds.   I had started to concentrate on the new "rules" of my life, cutting out sodas, not drinking when I eat...  but (and that's a big but hahahaha) for the past 2 months, I've been spiraling into a sort of "greiving" stage and I'm about 10 pounds heavier than my consultation.    Dr. S didn't weigh me however I'm scared since these are all estimated numbers.

What's wrong with me?   I know this is the best decision of my life and I don't regret it at all...  I have no doubt that this is the best thing for me... I'm ready for the changes but yet I'm eating like there's no tomorrow.  Can you please tell me if this is normal???   does anybody else feel "desperate" or did you go through this "goodbye" stage prior to your surgery????

I'm embarrassed but I'm turning to you for support.

(dont' laugh J)

I don't know about normal but it's human. I think food has been a good & comforting friend for most of us for many years and the thought of loosing that friend on a long term basis is very scary. Don't think of it as saying goodbye to your good friend.  Think of it more like seeing a lot less of your best buddies. Most of us have a very emotional and needy relationship with food and I think many panic at the thought of having to survive in this world without the crutch food gives us. I may very lucky, but I seem to be able to eat anything. I still have some treats, not often. You don't have to say good bye to all the good foods forever., You just have to have them a LOT less.  Perhaps knowing that you won't ever have you favorite foods ever again, will lessen your panic and allow you to be more in control.

Thank you Charline.  You are absolutely right.   I have to focus on my "new" friends.  I'm starting a gym program through my work and I am refocusing my energy on exercise.   With my call just around the corner, I still have time to think about what are my new habits and start applying them in my life.

I know that within a few weeks, I won't even crave that ol junk anymore.

I needed to re-read what I wrote to give myself some good advise as well and be my own new friend!!!

Thanks again Charline. 

 

I did that too. I had lost a bunch of weight before my first consult and it was starting to come back on again. I had to not only try to keep the old fat off but also try to lose more too. It was hard but do- able because I did it. If you remember my posts, I did not lose very much but lucky for me there was no number to lose. Just lose.
 
At some points I was only down 1 pound and that was more from fasting 2 days before appointments not from dieting right along. Mind you I didn't go whole hog on the food between appoints but I ate what I wasn't supposed to. It all worked out in the end. Thank god. It will for you too.
 
Nobody said this was going to be easy, and it isn't but it is good practice for post-op. Things are not always easy there either.

Thank you Maggie.

I am blessed with a wealth of information from the site.   Imagine without the forum how it would be lonely and it could get somewhat doubtful.  I'm also lucky to have Jeanette at work that's been through it all and her success is remarkable!   GOOD FOR YOU JET!!!    She is also very direct and honest.   Tell it how it is J and I appreciate that from her   (ush)

It's nice to come here and be able to say the good, the bad and the uuugly!    A place we're it's a 24 hour support meeting that you can reach out and have advise from the "real" people that's been through it.   Local people is even better because we can all relate better.

I love you girls and thank you for your support.  I'm there for you too.

MUAH 

geez... I feel so much better!

Rachel, 

I will send you a private message so watch your messages at the top of the page but I do want to say this to you:

There is nothing to be embarrassed about here.  What Charline says is so true.  We have all used food as a comfort, as a tool to cope with life, with our emotions, with stress, with fear, with joy, with any number of things in our life that seem just a bit overwhelming.  You may very well subconsciously feel overwhelmed by this decision and all that it brings.  And it could be very possible that the fear of living as a slim person is one of those emotions, I know it was for me.  And also you now know your call is just around the corner and that is one scary prospect even though it is the one thing you have been dreaming, wishing and probably even obsessing about for ages. 

I thought that I was never going to eat certain things that were engrained in me, almost part of my personality but I was so wrong.  After you are banded and you are healed there will be foods that you may chose not to eat and there will be foods that (when you are at your sweet spot with your band) your band may "reject" but you will never feel deprived or miss things once you get to where you need to be.  I can eat just about anything still and I need another fill (May 27) but I certainly don't eat everything not by a long shot and that is by choice.  And as you go along you realize that this is not about doing without, it is about reducing quantities and increasing the quality of the food  you give  your body to survive. 
 
I find more and more that this is definitely a lifestyle change.  I have changed a great deal in how I look at food, how I use food, how I feel about food.  Food is becoming less and less of a major component in my life and other things are replacing it.  Paying attention to all the things I can do now but that I could never do before like crossing my legs, sitting on the floor playing with my grandchildren, walking long distances without getting so tired I can barely breathe and sooo much more. 

Relax Rachel, think of this next step in the  process.  This is not something you are "facing"  but instead you need to think of it as something you are waiting to "embrace".  It is not as scary or as immense as it seems to you right now.  Each thing that you have to do to get to surgery and the surgery itself and the healing afterwards are all just little components in a wonderful opportunity to live a healthy, full, long life with your darling husband and your family.  There will be pain, nobody will lie to you about that but once you are on this side of the pain, it is nothing compared to the wonderful adventure that awaits you. 

Don't be embarrassed, feel no shame in the complicated emotions that you are coping with.  Just take strength from all of us who have gone before.  You can do this because we all did it before you and others will follow in your footsteps and look to you for encouragement and reassurance. 

What a grand adventure you are about to embark upon.  What a wonderful life awaits you.  Take a few moments - a day or so to think this through and then start fresh again doing all you have done thus far to prepare for your call to see the Dr.  You are an awesome being and you have nothing less to look forward to than the very best this surgery will bring to you. 

I will try to send you strength with good thoughts and I want you to know your angel is here for you. 

Ann

Ann, wow!    all I can say is THANK YOU.  And you nailed it.   You and Charline always know what to say!!!   Happy Mother's Day and are all great inspirations!

Hi Rachel, wow this is just too weird....I was reading what you put in the blog and I feel the same way !!!!  Since I got my date I see food and eat the food like theres no tomorrow too.  It's like I am greiving the food that I will no longer be able to eat.  I don't know I might not be normal but I feel I need to do this before I start on that boost liquid diet on May 20. 

Like you said Rachel I know this is the best decision of my life and I will surely not regret it but I hate this goodbye stage too that I am in right now.  It's funny I feel like I will be losing one of my best friends....  And the worst part of this is that my husband has been gone and will be gone  for the next 2 months so I don't really have anyone that I can really explain all of these emotions....BUT I was really happy that you mentionned it in this blog cuz I honestly feel the same way and happy that someone else feel the same way that I do.  Thanks for sharing and I really don't think we should be embarrassed with this...this will be a huge change in your lives but I am ready to except it with open arms.
So I just wanted to tell you that I feel the SAME WAY....So I guess if this is not normal we're in the same boat LOL!!!
Hope you have a nice day!!

Wow, he's gone for 2 months?!  It must be difficult to not have him around for the surgery.   This is truly a great place to come and share your emotions cause often, other people don't know how we feel anyways!  even if they are there with you!!!   HAHAHA.

Let's be courage and start "our" new journey together!   even if I didn't get my call yet it's just around the corner.

Tomorrow is a new day. 

Ush!! LOL!!

I waited 4 years for my 1st consultation to see Dr Beausoleil then another 2 for surgery, so there was no way I was going to do anything that would result in a surgery delay. As soon as I had my full day seminar, I went on a 1200 calories/day regime and never looked back. I did on very rare occasions, have something from the forbidden list! When I eat now, it is only something that is necessary to fuel my body. That doesn't mean that I don't indulge in a treat every now and then because I do. When I do have the treat, it is a healthier treat. I was a huge chip fan so now when I want a  treat, I will have some baked Cheetos, or some of the 100 calories snacks that are out there.

I just decided that once and for all, I will control my food and my food will not control me! I also eat very little processed foods now. Whole grains, organic when possible, and I eat very little meat causes it kids grosses me out now! I do get my protein with every snack and meal through nuts, cheese and beans. I also eat a lot of fresh fruit, good natural sugars and fiber.

If I can do this so can you! You know where to find me if you need me.

J