I feel like I've betrayed a friend

Yes suzanne, I am sure you will make it. You have such a strong desire and you've waited so long. Don't go by me. I'm just sick and miserable. I've heard nobody else on here grumbling like me. I an not the norm.

You are right though. To eat is to live ergo eating is seen as good. At least that is how I was raised. Any decrease in appetite was seen as a sign of illness. Funny thing is I am the ONLY obese person in my family. We all ate the same way when i was growing up but looking back  I can see now it wasn't huge portions. I think that is the difference. I got married and left home when I was 16  and moved 1500 miles away from home and lost family connections. With no easy or cheap way to go home I went almost 10 years beore I could afford to go home to even visit.

Also I have told no one about this surgery. Not even my best friend. Not my family So now when I need a shoulder to lean on, I find myself alone with my self loathing, regrets and recriminations. Not a fun place to be when you feel sick and miserable.

I am sure (I hope) 6 months from now I will feel better and be over this. It just takes time. I hate to be a negetive voice on this forum but I need to vent  Thank you all for youe encouragement and understanding.

Hi Maggie,
What has Rinette said about your dislike of everything?  Is puking that often a normal part of recovery? OMG I just realized how long it's been since your surgery. Are you sure that you are doing right? I know that I thought (don't quote me ) I knew it all...er I mean,  what I was doing. LOL Anyway, I find that I've needed more information on a lot of the finer points.  especially, of eating. Have you asked questions on the RNY forum? They may have a lot of helpful tips.
Eating issues aside, you need  nourishment.  If you haven't called Rinette, please do so ASAP. Don,t you get the staples out soon? Make an appointment with Rinette for the same day. You know that nurses are the second worst patients in the world. You may have extensive medical knowledge, but you are the patient this time.
In my earlier pep talk , I forgot just how long you have been in recovery. Sorry. No one can expect you to bounce back without adequate nourishment.
Keep us posted Maggie,
Charline

 Maggie you are not alone - we are all here for you!  I know it isn't the same as someone with skin on but we are here and we do care.   You go right ahead and grumble - and I will listen!  Married at 16 you say - I was 16 in Apr and married in May and that was in 1970 - one more thing in common!  You have no one at home to help?  Maybe a voice on the phone - how do I do a PM through the forum???

Maggie, what does Dr B's office say about this? This is not how life post-op should be and I would hope they are working with you to come to a resolution. I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time of it. I hope they can help you :(

Thanks all. I go up tomorrow for staple removal and I will try to see Rinette then. I'm not sure what she can offer though. It seems to be about altered taste . Nothing tastes good and when I eat I feel so sick. Not sure what can be done about that. Maybe time will help.

Suzanne, I was the same, I turned 16 in May and got married in June and moved to N.B. in Oct the same year. 3 years later, I had my first son and less than a year later I had my 2 son.  7 years later found me alone with 2 small boys and a grade 9 education and no way other than minium wage jobs to support us. 

So as you can see, I have always been completely self reliant and through all the years and surgeries I have always managed to bounce back qiuckly and stand on my own two feet. Now I am at a loss. Not bouncing back, still feel like I've been hit by a truck and worse not able to recover through nutrition and exercise. Two things I have always relied upon to get back on track.

I'll call Rinette today and make sure I can see her tomorrow. Thanks everyone for your lovely soft ears. Not one soul said anything untoward to me. I appreciate that more than you know.

Maggie, I think Rinette is away on her cruise so be sure to ask if there is someone else to cover for her.

Yes Starsky, you are right. i just called and Lise said she was away all week. I will talk to lise tomorrow about my eating she may have some advice.

Hi Maggie

Still on vacation in Arizone and basically have been lurking the few times I have been online with OH.... but feel compelled to let you know from a fellow RNY'er - having been there done that ..... it will get better.

Hon, you have gone thru a major surgery and yes some bounce back quickly - and some dont have as many challenges with eating but dont compare yourself to anyone or what you perceive to be the "norm" - Charline is correct post on the RNY board and you will get some great tips and many will share with you about the same journey they are going thru or have been thru. One clever lady told me that only the happy well people who are doing great after WLS are posting - if you are really having a rough time and dont have a support system online - you dont feel like posting or searching for answers. She was correct.

Maggie I have gone thru all the same experiences you are going thru and the "buyers remorse" bigtime - what I didnt realize is that so many - my mind is blank on the % but a lot of people will experience depression after WLS- I experienced one of the worst episodes of my life after my surgery and thought I was losing my flippin mind - your hormones run rampant and it doesnt matter what stage of your life you are in - peri-menopausal or menopausal or post - you can experience depression and you have to be able to talk to your family doctor about this so that if you need help it is there.

My biggest regret is that no one told me about this part of weight loss surgery - of all the researching I did and all the reading - I wasnt prepared for such mental challenges on top of the physical.

I didnt get counselling and the help but instead for 5 months thought I was gonna lose it. Just the fact that you feel so miserable physically is depressing - I know about the taste factor - I know how tired you are - but again there are things that can be done if you are anemic and can not tolerate iron then you must insist on an IV iron infusion - b12 is another one to watch with energy and there are shots available for this one as well if the supplement is not working.

I had to resort to a very strong anti nausea medication - one that is used post chemo - but it made it possible to keep some things down - it saved me and I wasnt getting that with any other med- nothing over counter was strong enough to stop me from puking. And this didnt fix it all but made it possible to start getting some nutrition into my body.

Ending up in the hospital 3 times with dehydration due to puking was not fun and the idea of a feeding tube was very scary- and I am so glad it didnt come to that but it will if you can not get enough nutrition in . I dont want to scare you but you can not just count on this resolving in 3 or 4 months - you have to fight Maggie.

Maggie I have learned that I had to become the biggest advocate for my health- no one dr can fix all the things going on with you -Sugarbear is right you need a team - as you know my surgeon was in Montreal the online advice they could offer wasnt good enough. I was to ill to fly up to see the surgeon .I got some of my best tips from the dietician I had to find in the community. Way more info then the nutrit. person from the team in Montreal . Mixing beneprotein into things was a huge help.

At my worse Maggie my family dr looked at me one day and told me I had to fight to live - I had to decide to make this work or I would not make it - it was very scary hearing that - she gave me some very graphic visuals of what was happening to me by not getting enough nutrition into my body - the one big thing for me was that your mind and thought process start to be affected by not eating enough or getting protein and nutrition into your body - it was true for me I couldnt drive because I couldnt concentrate - I could barely converse with someone and hardly posted online or did emails I couldnt find words to make sense it was like I was in this deep fog - but besides the hormonal aspect this was a physical result of not getting proper nutrition.

Maggie decide you are going to make this work and fight - fight to be well - fight for proper health care and decide you are deserving of this tool and you will be a winner- this is not a diet - this is your new life and you have been given this amazing opportunity and you are going to make this work for you .
 
I am here and will help anyway I can and today I am sending you a huge hug cause I so know what you are going thru- this will get better but not on its own Maggie -  you have to fight and post to us - post away you may also find if you start to journal it will help - my dietician of all people actually told me if I expressed even writing it down how angry I was - which I didnt realize I was until she talked to me about it - I was angry why couldnt I be one of those "norm" people I perceived - why couldnt I be bouncing back and eating and exercising and life be grand.......

Maggie writing things down although I was not totally coherant lol but it did help - I also have not told anyone about my WLS except a few close friends and some immediate family - so I found it lonely in the beginning - I am happy you have this online support family - I did not have that and my husband couldnt understand my buyers remorse or anger..... he just wanted me to get well and get with it again lol -

I am praying for you and I am always here for you .

big hugs
deb

Thanks Deb for posting all the way from Arizona and on vacation. I was hoping to hear from you. i tried to call Rinette but she is away. Lise said she could book me an appointment next week to see Rinette but I'm not sure I can get up there next week. my van broke down a few weeks ago and right now I'm in the process of getting another motor put in it. I don't know when it will be ready. I hate to beg drives from people all the way to Moncton. My son's don't have a car right now either. My ex is taking me up tomorrow. I'll work something out. maybe I'll book an appointment for next friday. My van should be done by then.I've kept a journal of all of my food intake so I will bring that too. Sucks feeling this sick.

Listen to Debbie my friend. She has been there, my journey is very different than yours.
I have my staple removal appointment is on the 20th and I would swing down to pick you up if you still need to go to Moncton then.
I am on the verge of going on a crusade about the inadequate preparation and support system we have here. The people we have are wonderful and so dedicated, but they are so understaffed.  I was talking to my family doctor today, and she still has not received a notification from Dr B's office that I was accepted for surgery. She was especially disturbed that I was not referred to the diabetic clinic, at least a month before surgery.  She was rather PO'ed. I am going to do some research on what exactly is the ideal preparation and support and I hope I can put something together for myself and others. At the least I would like to put some kind of handbook for NB patients on how to access the support needed for post-op.