I feel like I've betrayed a friend

I feel like I've betrayed a good and faithful friend. For 48 years my stomach has caused me no problems what so ever. I have never tasted pepto bismol or any other stomach remedy. I had heartburn only in my last 2 months of pregnancy. I had vomited only 4 times in the past 22 years. twice because I mixed my booze,(I was young)  once because I drank spoiled milk and once because I took percocet and had no gravol on hand. That's it . Never vomited. I put whatever I wanted into my stomach. It took all of the abuse with good humor. Never complaining or protesting. Guts of steel, I always said.

Now, after all those years of a good relationship with my stomach, I feel like I've betrayed a trusted friend. I puke almost daily. My stomach feels awful on a regular basis. There are a lot of things I cannot eat anymore and there are times while sitting on the edge of the bathtub leaning over the flush, with tears in my eyes, I wonder what in God's name I was thinking. To go from feeling fine to making myself so miserable and sick. I need my head examined.

I know this feeling will pass in time and I will learn to love my WLS. I just don't right now. I time eating will become easier and hopefully my sense of betrayal of a friend will pass too. Just not right now. Right now I feel kind of sad.

I may just feel this way because I am still so tired. Loading the washer or dishwasher completly tires me out. My sons took me to Sobeys Saturday and after spending only about 1/2 hour I was so wiped out when I got home I had to ask them to put the food away while I lay on the sofa too wiped out to move. SUCKS!  Again , I will feel better in time.

"To go from feeling fine to making myself so miserable and sick".

You didn't feel fine and you were sick. This is really what you must remember. We all realize it will be a hard journey but nothing good comes without a price. The payoff will be so worth it. You just wait and see. Keep your head up Maggie, there are better days to come. You keep me inspired. Starr

I know how you feel,  I had my surgery on feb. 5, 2009, just one week before you.  I am finely feeling close to feeling 100 % better.  Each day does get better.  I like you was a healthy fat person............  No problems except knees and ankles would hurt from all the weight.......  Nobody told me how hard those first 2 weeks would be.  I thought to myself what have I done.  but I am now going into my forth week and I am more energetic.  Keep your head up it will get better.  Keep praying and I will pray for you and everybody else who is going through this.......  good luck and keep in touch. 

Sorry you're having a hard time. I hope it isn't too much longer till you're feeling good and adjust to your new stomach.
Shirley

I'm just like you.  Guts of steels.  I hated throwing up so i never did.  not for years and years.  Now it happens about once a week.  The thought of food is disgusting.  Feels aweful in my stomach.  I hate the smell of food.  But have to eat it to survive. 

Your feelings are understandable.  I am betting they are also normal, especially after weeks of self imposed sickness. Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself. You have earned it and those feeling should be acknowledged. Then after a good nap or night's sleep, pick yourself up and remember why you started this journey. You know that you may think that  your stomach was great before but that great stomach allowed, helped, even promoted your poor health. It has been a saboteur for a long time. It has been stealth in it's sabotage of your body. It kept a low profile.  It has been the receptor of your drug of choice- food.  You are also coping, maybe for the first time in your adult life, with a stressful traumatic event without food.  This is the emotional equivalent to going "cold turkey".   Not only is your body adjusting, so is your mind and psyche. Be kind and patient with yourself, but don't fool yourself, this payback to a stomach that only seemed a friend. That kind of friend steals your life.

Hey Maggie, hang in there! I am sure the worst is coming to an end. Is there any way you can contact the scylogist on your weight loss team to talk about your feelings?  That is what he/she is there for. Did you set yourself up with a local team of professionals before your surgery so you would have a go to person. Something to thinkk about. I think it is not having your comfort food there to help you through this I honestly do.. Your best friend and confidant is now gone and you have to find another way. Wish we could all just reach out and hug you. Know we are thinking of y ou and you waited so long for this. Luv Sugarbear

i think it's just that I've always been able to eat and drink. Never ever got so sick in my entire life that I was unable to eat or at least drink. Now to do either is a real struggle. i feel sick often, I still can't find anything  that  I like to drink. i puke almost daily and when i don't puke i feel like I want to.  It's hard to find pouch friendly food. I am not so easily pleased with weight loss that i will ignore the loss of food. Even our prayers say "Give us this day our daily bread", not me, not now. I read others who say "I've lost 150 pounds and feel so great that I don't mind what it took to get here"  . That will never be me. I haven't even weighed myself since day 2 at home and I can't say i really care what my weight is. I care more that I can't even eat with any sense of satisfaction. 

Hopefully after 3 or 4 months my stomach will settle down and eating enough to live will be easier. i may feel better then.

thank you all for your kind words and understanding. It does help to know that i have a support system out there only a mouse click away. (((HUGS))) 

 Dear Maggie, with so many people on this site saying how wonderful everything is and being soo positive - I admire you coming forth to share how you really feel.  I'm sure there are many on this site who understand.  I know that I for one am obese because food has always been the companion that was there when I needed comfort, when I was happy, when I was stressed and when I was relaxed.  No matter what the emotion - a constant companion!  And now at a time when psychologically we NEED that companion the most  - we can't have it (or it won't have us).  Stress related eating - or HEAD HUNGER is that "life style" change that we have to make.  I have been wondering lately if I can do it.  I can't stop eating and I am going to sign my consent on March 13!  But I WANT WLS!!!  I am sick and tired of all the "things" we obese people have to live with and without.

Maggie it takes time so hang in there (it's not like you have a choice at this point :-))  Sending you big ((((HUGS)))) and MEGA best wishes!  You can do it - and so will I! 

Maggie...Expressing your real feelings has touched me, and although I havnt had the surgery yet, I can understand the relationship or "addiction" we have.  Keep expressing your feelings, it will help you work through them.  This group is so supportive, they will never let you down with advise or a kind word.  If there is anything you need, dont hesitate to ask, I dont live far from you and am here if you need any help...just ask
Angela