next to last post for a while

realmessy
on 2/20/09 8:15 pm - Canada
Hi all, 

Sorry I have not been commenting much lately, I have been reading though.  I am worried about Maggie and I have been watching Charline W. closely as she approaches her big day on Tuesday.  I am wishing so hard that Dr. Savioe's patients hear something positive real soon.  I have been cheering everyone on the loser's bench for all their hard work and their losses and NSV's like Patsy and Deb K.  and thinking about those approaching milestones like Jenn, Starsky,and Suzanne T. who were signing consent papers this past week. And there are a couple of folks who appear to be struggling like Stephen and Krista who I am worried about.

Although it might sound like an excuse I have just been so busy getting ready for this trip - we fly out of Halifax on Monday, that my computer time has been minimal - only on long enough to read and do some banking and that is about it.  

I will post one more time before we go to say so long until I get back but I did want to post today to share something.  

I just want all of you to know that you are coming on this cruise with me.  I will think of each of you every day when I take my time to make wise food choices and when I particpate in an activity that was out of the question last time because of my weight.  You - every last one of you are  a dear friend to me even though most of us have never met.  I have come to you so often with my fears, worries, NSV's, SV's and I have tried very hard to support each of you in some way by either commenting, trying to put a different spin on your comments, or by sharing my personal experience.  This forum means so much to me.  You, my friends, know me about as well as my family does in terms of how I feel about WLS and how I feel about being a good friend.  

Today I have  a real milestone to share.  You all know how I feel about the "numbers".  How I try not to focus on the numbers because of the "number" they can do on your head.  But here at last for all to see are my stats.  I will only share this with my friends here and with my husband. 

On the day I met with Dr. Beau for the first time I weighed 269.  I then proceeded to go on the Goodbye Diet saying goodbye to all my favourite things (I highly recommend that nobody ever do that, it is stupid and self destructive and does not reflect who you will become after surgery).  I gained 14 pounds between June 30 and July 31.  On August 1st I weighed 283.  So back on a diet and by Sept 30 I had lost the 14 pounds and a couple more and on Info Session day I weighed 266.  By the day of surgery I was down to 252.5 pounds.  So as of yesterday morning (my weight was the same this morning as yesterday) I have lost 32.8 pounds since surgery, 49.2 since consultation and 63.2 since the end of the the Goodbye Diet.  I wanted to be below 220 on the day I leave for the cruise and yesterday (and today) I weighed 219.8 pounds.  

I did it!  And I hope to keep doing it.  I am wide open as you all know but I have been so diligent about living as if the band was working, only a cup of food, chew chew chew, no drinking with or after meals, eating protein first then the rest of the meal, using smaller plates, smaller utensils, and fighting with myself every moment of every day to resist the head hunger and the DESIRE to use food to cope with the emotions and events of my life.  I have used food to sooth, to afirm, to validate, to show anger, to show fear, to celebrate, to do all the things that my brain should be able to do on its own for soooooo long that the DESIRE, the NEED is soooooo strong (an addiciton in every sense of the word)  it is sometimes nearly impossible to resist.  But I do resist because I want to be able to do life clean, free of emotional and mental crutches.  And I want to be able to tell my friends here on the forum that it can be done, that we can live life as a thin person does.  That we can be NORMAL.  

So I made a goal and I am usually a lousy goal setter.  I have more often than not set a goal and failed to make it.  I have done that most of my adult life.  To meet this goal is monumental for me.  It tells me that I can do goal setting and then meet the goal and do it with clarity of will and thought and celebrate it without food.  Now I know I can actually set a goal weight and will in all probability make that goal quite triumphantly and loudly I might add.  ( I am a loud person so you will probably  hear me when I make goal weight.)

The change in me over the past 8 months since consultation has been astounding to me and to my husband and children.  They see my confidence and my self esteem becoming so strong and they know how much happier I am.  I am stronger emotionally and physically.  I can walk faster and longer and further.  I experience pain less and less every day.  I smile a lot more from happiness instead of smiling to hide the pain.  I used to be the fat, jolly chick and now I am just the happy woman who knows that she is going to be okay no matter what life thows at her. 

I will try to post again either tomorrow or Monday just to say so long but today I just wanted you all to know how much I care about all of you and how much I appreciate each of you being here for me to help me, to cheer me on and to understand what I am going through and stand beside me while I go through it.  What a great bunch of people you are.  I wish for each of you the joy I am experiencing today and I hope that as you achieve your successes that you will continue to share on this forum.  You don't know who you will inspire, who will see your experience and take heart from it.  You don't know who will read a comment you make and come out of a fog and into the reality of the WLS experience. 

Thanks again, all of you, for being here for me.

Ann

Penelope G.
on 2/20/09 8:42 pm - xxxxx, Canada
Hi Ann, I'm so happy for you and all your success.  You are doing awesome.  It's hard to believe its cruise-time.  You will have a blast strutting around your new bod.  And you are so accustomed to eating properly, you probably won't have any trouble staying on track with your food.  Have a great time.  and report in when you get back.  We'll miss you.

Patsy

HW/SW/CW/GW
362/305/250.6/160  (54.4 since surgery)
1st Fill Dec22 4cc's * 2nd fill May 14 1cc = 5 ccs * 3rd (un)fill June 5 .5cc = 4.5 ccs *4th fill July 8 2cc=6.5cc, unfill of 1cc sept 09 = 5.5cc; Nov 8 fill of 1.5 =7ccs
maggie L.
on 2/20/09 9:02 pm - Willio Grove, Canada
Oh Ann, I'm so excited for you. Just think, on this cruise you will be able to walk without pain anywhere you want to go on ship or shore. Climbing the stairs onboard will not be a big deal. I am so happy for you. You will be able to stand or lean on the railings as long as you want not just as long as you are able to stand. I'll bet you'll find it a world of difference from your last cruise. I'd love to be a fly on the wall of thet ship to see your joy at the new discoveries. Bon Voyage my friend, Bon Voyage.
CANADIAN GASTRIC
CHICKY

on 2/20/09 10:41 pm - Canada
Ann

My kindred spirit - I have yet to meet. Meeting you is just a formality because I feel like I have known you for so many years .

You have given such great advice to me and so many others on this forum and I am so honored to be on this WLS journey with you by my side......

You have a gift girly and each of your NSV's and Scale Victories are written about with so much heart and feeling- I always look forward to your posts and have missed you the last few days certainly.

We will criss cross paths as I am gone on Feb 28th and dont get back til March 17th from Arizona..... I too will have you by my side as I stick to my eating plan at all the conference buffets and will rejoice at all the things I can do now that I couldnt do when we were at conference or in Arizona last year. I will have my laptop with me so I will chk in when I can.

Have an amazing cruise........you going on you cruise just makes me more excited for mine in July and realize how much fun I can have......The last time I was on a cruise I was miserable so unhappy and was the biggest in the bunch of 10 couples and felt so akward at all the formal nights....you are such an inspiration to see you having all your dreams come true..... I hope we get to see lots of pics of the radiant glowing you....

love ya and Bon Voy Age dear friend
deb


                                                           
        STARTING 2010 WITH A BANG! 160 LBS LOST!

  
    WLS JOURNEY: HW-292/SW-273/CW-132-GOAL 125LBS
        WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK IT - ME - 132 LBS ! omg
           
                 - Happy to be Brenda B's angel !

            
Kitty_mom
on 2/20/09 11:16 pm - New Maryland, Canada
My dear Ann,
You are such an inspiration to me. You have been so positive but honest in your sharing. You inspire me without sparking my guilt. That is rare quality. (You must have been the most awesome Mommy in the world.)  By sharing your stats, I am further inspired because our starting stats are similar. I was 288.3 at consult and should be around 260 at surgery. At a couple of months out you are under 220- far more weight loss than I thought possible without a fill- WOW!  If you can do that, I can aim to be under 230 by the end of May..... see how inspiring you are? 
Enjoy your cruise...........I'm sure you will enjoy this one more than all previous vacations!

 

Abby G.
on 2/20/09 11:55 pm - Canada
 Ann, Ann, Ann,!  You are such an inspiration to all of us.  You have many good things happening in your life right now and you deserve everyone of them.  The reason you deserve them is that you are the one making them happen!  We all benefit from your positive mindset and your encouraging words of wisdom!  Many us us have been through similar experiences, humiliation and pain - both physical and emotional.  

Similar to Deb's comment I remember being in an airport on my way to Florida to visit my daughter and her family.  While waiting for the plane I looked around at all the other travelers - all ages, nationalities, and sizes.  I got this really sick feeling when I realized I was the fattest one in the whole airport!  I was embarrassed for myself and for my DH.  I have great hopes that this WLS will help me to lose the weight and keep it off!  I am sick to death of this feeling of inadequacy - just my own little psyc issue LOL.  Better days ahead for ALL of us.  I look forward to meeting each one of - hopefully a day over the summer.  WE are all caring people - otherwise we wouldn't bother to read or write on this forum.

I want to spend the rest of my life LIVING - not spend the rest of my life DYING!  I feel that is what my weight is doing to me. It keeps me from doing the things I want to do with the people I want to do it with:-)

Have a wonderful cruise and enjoy all the freedoms that come with  weighing less!
starsky466
on 2/21/09 12:27 am - Oromocto, Canada
Ann, DITTO!!! You are the inspiration. Enjoy your cruise and have the best time ever. Anticipating your return home with all your wonderful stories. Bon voyage. Starr

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smt2345
on 2/21/09 4:22 am - Canada
Ann, you are a great writer. You are able to get your feelings across in an engaging manner. And that's coming from a teacher! I hope the best for you on your trip. Have fun, but not too much, and post your photos when you get back!
Weight lost since surgery (Oct. 1, 2009): 47 lbs
(deactivated member)
on 2/21/09 4:58 am, edited 2/21/09 4:58 am - Canada
Hey Ann,
Just remember that the blue extra large carry on with wheels you didn't know was yours...it has me in inside!! Lol. Have fun!

Laurie
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