Why do the people we love discourage us from WLS

I'm so frustrated...I was talking to my sister and she is always discouraging me about WLS.  She doesnt understand why I can't lose it the old fashioned way.  I've explained the best I can, but it really upsets me.  Does anyone else's family give them a hard time about this?  I just needed to vent to people who do understand

Thanks
Angela

Your sister may never accept  the idea of wls. That is not your concern. You and her will have to agree to disagree. Not much you can do about it. If you have tried to explain it to her with no avail, there is nothing you can do about what she thinks. You can only control your feelings. Worrying about what she thinks about what you do with your body is an exercise in futility. There are so many who do understand what you are going through, including us here at OH. Maybe the best thing is to not discuss wls with her. Eventually she will see a healthier, more confident you and will accept your decision. I have not and will not tell my family either for the same reasons. they will just give me grief and right now I don't need the hassle. Chin up girl. We are here. Come on over whenever you want to. (((HUGS)))

YES. I've been this way most of my life and they have always said to do something about it. So when I finally decided to see my GP about a referral.. OMG!! The worst thing it seems I could do even though they said they would support me in whatever I did but not WLS. So I feel for you Angela. Hope you have a better day tomorrow

Thank you so both so much for your support...I really needed it.  My sister just called me again, to apologize.  Of course I'm in tears again.  I know she is on my side and is just concerned but my god...its my decision, good or bad.  I told her I dont want to talk about it anymore.  I expressed to her that I am afraid I'm going to die and that I could understand her point of view if I had maybe 100lbs to lose but I have over 270lbs to lose...I dont know anyone who has ever lost that "the old fashioned way" .  I tried to explain that I dont really live life this way...I've missed out on so much already, things that I can't change, like having children.  I want to live a full life for what I have left...I hope she understands but I'm still forging forward with this.

Thank you again friends

I know how you feel however you will find a tremendous amount of support here and other support sites.   My dad is still against it however said that he knows that I won't change my mind and supports me.  My sister was also against it however has come around which is a blessing for me.  We are twin souls and it was very difficult not having her support before.  I think that deep down she would prefer that I wouldn't go through with it, but actually supports me if that's the best thing for me.  My mom is slowly coming around... very slowly....

My husband asked me if they have a his and hers special so needless to say, he supports me 100%

I'm very lucky to have so many people that love me and I love them so much!!!!

I'm there for you and try to remember that it's for YOU

People have very strong notions about weight loss. Look at the medical profession- they know that obesity is a disease, but still many resist WLS and believe that you just need to cut calories. Even Dr B insists that you lose weight while you wait for surgery. Most people see us a morally weak. "I'd never let myself get like that!"   As for attitudes toward WLS in the general population- they remember the old stomach stapling, which is a far cry from today's state of the art WLS. They hear in the media that WLS is very high risk surgery with a high death rate. Of course, they are talking about people that weight 500,  600 or more pounds. They don't clarify that for most people WLS, especially the lap band, is much safer. All some people know about WLS  comes from shows like Big Medicine.
Weight loss is multi-billion dollar business and the industry spends millions telling us "You can do it".  The power of advertising! The truth is that regular weight loss has a 95% failure within rate. That isn't advertised.
I have kept my plans mostly to myself. My advise to most people is keep to yourself  or be selective, especially before surgery. Once the pounds start to fall off, I won't care so much who knows.

Yeah I have decided not to tell certain family & friends about my WLS at the moment. They are not too supportive I believe out of fear of what they don't know. So for now until they can accept WLS is ok for me, I got support here on the OH.

The old addage "it is easier to ask for forgivness than to ask for permission" is my motto. I have told two friends, one of which I regret, telling and my sister, who has recently passed away. She had WLS years ago.. And my partner, of course. I am definitely NOT telling my other two skinny sisters or my overprotective neice. Once the weight starts coming off, then I will share the good news. So as they say in Cape Breton "GET 'ER DONE"  And that is exactly what I am going to do. You hang in there girl. This is for you now, not anyone else.

I have been fairly open... but selective with sharing my upcoming wls.  Most have been supportive and if they talk amongst themselves negatively about my decision, well that is their problem because I am happy with it and feel blessed by God to have this option.

I have come to realize that I have a disease which has resisted other treatments - my stomach is too large to really feel satisfied when eating and my metabolism is shot.  So I have chosen to have a surgery to improve the length and quality of my life.  If I had breast cancer and the radiation treatments did not work, then surgery would certainly be a viable step to improve my life.  The majority of us who opt for wls are morbidly or super morbidly obese - meaning that our lives are in danger, whether we realize it, accept it or feel it.  We are damaging our heart and other organs more with the unsuccessful "yoyo dieting".

In the meantime, there will be those who are afraid, who do not understand, who are jealous ... just pull on those big girl (big boy) panties of steel and smile and know in your heart that this is right for you ... then come hang out here as we shall cry, laugh and love you every step of the way!

Take care and God bless,

M

In many cases your loved ones are just worried...so if you get negative vibes...try to help them to understand more about the surgery.

You know how they say you dont understand unless you walk in someone elses shoes...well, I think this is one of those cases...so don't make your decision based on others wishes....make sure it is your wishes.

mind you...I should note...I didn't tell anyone but hubby...and I liked it that way.  My WLS did not take over my life...it couldnt .. i still had sons living with me who didnt know.  And when I told them 2 years after the fact, it was not a biggy....they had already adjusted to my new improvd self.

Good Luck.