My sisters' passing

I was away from the website for two weeks now. I was in London, Ontario, with my ailing sister. She has been battling breast cancer for nearly six years. On Jan 9, she succumbed to phenumonia and passed on. She leaves two beautiful older children and a wonderful grandbaby. She had WLS twice. Once about 17years ago and again 11 years ago. The last one, a  bypass, was the most successful.  She had hers done in Oshawa, Ontario.  Her first surgery was a stapling and the second a bypass. She is the only member of my family that I have told that I was considering this. She was so supportive. Only one thing she mentioned was to make sure i got all the education I could on food and nutrition as that councilling was not part of either of her protocals. She never did learn to eat right until maybe this past year.  She was a very large lady before her surgery and on ly 100 lbs at her death. None of my other sisters approved of this surgery and somehow blame her illness on her many surgeries. I saw how happy she was when she lost weight and not once would I blame her breast cancer on the fact that she had WLS done. She also had reconstructive surgery for her eccessive skin. I just wanted to share this story with you all. I am back to Nova Scotia now and will be keeping up on the forums. My avitar phots is me and her at the Breast Cancer Dragon Boat Regatta held in Dartmough, NS, last summer. Look how wonderfully happy she was. That is what I will always remember. I know that she will look down on me from heaven and support my Weight Loss decisions. Thanks for listening.

Beaverblue,

So sorry for your loss.  Sisters can have special places in our hearts and no doubt she will always be looking out for you.  Even in her final days she was encouraging you to take care of your health by researching vitamins, nutrition etc and supporting you in your weight loss journey. 

It is truly sad how your other sisters are blaming the wls as that no doubt makes you feel even more alone, unable to share with them your decision.  Cancer is an ugly disease that too many people for too many reasons must battle, and often lose, but I would not link her surgeries to it.  She tried hard to improve her life in many ways and would only want you to do the same.

We are here for you as a support system.  Feel free to reach out in any way.  Honor your sister's memory by taking care of your health and loving life.

God bless,
M

I am so sorry.  It was just a year ago that I lost my mother to cancer and its still tough.  I am not an overly emotional person to start with and she had such a horrible illness that it was a blessing to let her go.  but I miss talking to her.  My mourning started the day she wasn't able to talk on the phone anymore.  I used to call her 2 or 3 times a day most days.  Once the brain cancer took over she was gone in mind.  This period lasted about 4 months before her passing so by the time she passed on we had accepted her death already.  Strange but true.  Anyway, thanks for sharing your story.  My thoughts are with you.  Take care,

Beaverblue, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences. Your sister was a brave woman. Not many people were having wls back 17 years ago. She must have been determined to get healthy. Now I see you are starting the same journey to health that she did. I'm sure she's watching you and cheering you on.  ((((hugs))))

Oh my goodness, I am so very sorry to read about your loss.  To the end she was encouraging you and you now have the opportunity to honour her memory by having your surgery and succeeding for yourself as well as for her.  Unfortunately, it was not her WLS that brought this on but it was her obesity that left her prone to developing cancer of any kind.  If you read the stats, obese women are far more likely to develop breast cancer than thinner women.  It is too bad that the rest of your family can't embrace that truth.  But you can and you can use this opportunity wisely to rescue yourself from those horrible odds.  My mother is a breast cancer survivor and so my chances are even higher of getting cancer.  I hope my surgery helps me to beat the odds too. 

I hope that through your sorrow you can find a way to celebrate your sister's life and her courage.  Remember the good times, the fun times and don't let her death be the one thing that marks her presence in your life and on this earth.  

Welcome back to the forum and remember you can come to any one of us when you need encouragement, information, reassurance or just a place to get things off your chest.  This is a great forum full of kind caring people.  We are so lucky to have found each other.

Condolences,
Ann

Thanks, everyone, for the encouraging words. She lived a wonderful life despite her cancer and she was so proud when she able to go shopping and b uy smaller clothes. When I told her back in September that I had an info session in Feb. she wanted to fly down to be with me. She will not be with me in her spirit.  We have so many great memories and I will hang on to those and her workd of encouragement about the WLS. Thanks again, folks in the forum.

I know words are inadequate to soften your loss, but believe me when I say that my heart and prayers go out to you. I lost my sister to cancer 20 years ago and I miss her still. Time will heal your pain and you will be able to remember her without the stabbing pain of her passing. The day will come when your  memories  of her will  again bring a smile to your face.
Charline

I am sorry for your loss and your sister gave you some sound advice.  You will not do this surgery alone, she is watching over you.

Take care,
Catherine

Sugarbear,

Ah hon I am so sorry for this most difficult time you are having to go thru- the loss of a sister I can only imagine your pain.

She is a hero in the way she fought and celebrated her life- such a brave person to have gone thru all she has gone thru- you have such an awesome angel looking and watching over you as you now go down your path to health. She will guide you now and be your biggest chearleader....... she will be your strength when you are seeking guidance.

We are all here for you and my deepest prayers are with you and your family at this time.

Hugs and many Blessings,

Deb