Would you ever recommend WLS to someone, without them asking?

Hi,
A couple of situations come up...which I just wonder how you all feel about...

1.  You are in public and a very very very obese stranger is there.  You are so happy with your WLS, and you remember how awful it was to get around like this stranger.   Do you ever approach them to suggest at min they look into the possibility...or just to tell them that you too used to be very big?

Has anyone else every had this dilemma?  I have never approached anyone, but I am one who didn't know WLS existed in 2005, so sometimes I wish someone had of even told me it was an option...even though I would have been mortified at the time. 

2.    Someone asks you about WLS.  So do you ever feel responsibility/uncomfortable in saying too many good things about it, in case they do it just because you did.  And the risk  to you is that 1. it goes horribly wrong, and you could feel responsible or 2. they choose your surgery, not because it is right for them, but because they only see you...not the other information.   

Someone very close to me is having the same surgery as me.  With them I was crystal clear at the very beginning they needed to do their own research and really convenience me why they was making the choice they do.  I do still feel some responsibility...but as they are so diligent about their own health and doing great research...it does remove alot of my responsibility...

it is others...who just go...yup...I want what she is having...or had.  Without really understanding what is is or what that I worry about....ever feel a responsibility there?

What are your thoughts on the WLS strangers?  or the WLS friends/Family?

Thanks,
C

Heya C:

While I would want for them what I had, I would never mention it to a stranger unless they asked. And if they were a stranger, they probably wouldn't ask :) To be honest, I don't tell people unless I know them fairly well now. I have had a couple of negative reactions, so I would rather not. My feeling is that weight-loss surgery is more and more common now and most people have access to the information. If they don't, I feel sorry for them but I don't think I should be out there to educate those who are obese and don't know about it. If asked directly, I would certainly share but I would never just approach someone.

With friends and family? I would do like you did and encourage. I would share what worked for me but no, I would not feel responsible for them. Not everyone does fantastic with this surgery ~ only those who work WITH the tool will. You / I can't control what others do or how we do so we should not feel responsible at all for THEIR results. Whether they succeed or not, that's their own volition. All we can do is support and be good examples.

I spent most of my life as a codependent person (and probably always will) so I could relate to both of your questions -- for me, no to both.

Hope this helps a little hearing another point of view.

I know how you feel about wanting to tell obese strangers, but I would never approach him or her. If an opportunity presented itself, like we stuck up a conversation and they made a comment like bending was difficult or the like, I might make a comment like I knew what they were talking about but I had WLS & life is much easier and say no more unless asked. There is a women at the group home with whom I have good rapor and I found a way to mention it by refering to my self- I said that I was researching it. She commented that she would love to have WLS but the cost and the wait, so I updated her re Dr Savoie, and the new rules in NB. I would always direct the content of the comment towards myself, nor toward them- the good old "I" statement.

I am with you folks.....I am sometimes tempted....especially in NB where it really is becoming more obtainable....but I would hate to hurt someones feelings.

But that said....I have a friend who has was 400 lbs, lost over 200 and she carries cards like business cards with a few WLS sites listed, like this one and a few others and if see sees someone really really big, She does strike up a conversation...because she figures she was so close to death...she wants to help others.

and funny enough...she gets very warm welcomes with her info.  I guess when she explains she was so big and so worried she would die...they are forgiving...

take care,
C

Hi Catherine- I just figured out that we are (almost) on the same time Zone!!   When I log in, no one is on because it so early in NB.  I don't know about Luxenburg, but the weather is lousey here- very cold. But not for a NewB like me. I walked a couple of kilometers to the pub tonight in a sweetshirt and the Scotts thought I was crazy from the looks I got!! LOL
Charline

Hi Charlene,
There are some great bandsters in Glasgow and so check out your email...I will send you a note...there is a support group next weekend if you are still there.

Otherwise, log onto  http://www.wlsinfo.org.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=73282 and find the Scottish listings for people/groups.

Maybe some would like to meet up for coffee.  It might be interesting for you.  Just an idea...if you

Thx,
Catherine