telling the tale

Well its nearly time for me to find out if I am indeed a candidate for Lap Banding.  My gastroscopy is scheduled for Thursday, day after tomorrow.  What Dr. B sees down there will tell him and ultimately me, if I can have the surgery.  I have a condition called Barrett's esophagus which is the result of years of Acid Reflux Disease.  The acid has wreaked havoc on my poor old gullet and in an attempt to repair itself a small portion of my esophagus has mutated cells that resemble intestinal cells rather than esophogial cells.  Or at least that is what I have been told. I have also been told that this is a pre-cancerous condition.  So Dr B. is going to have a little look to see how bad things are down there and then he will decide if I can have the surgery.  He seemed to think during the consultation that it would not be a problem depending on how bad the condition is and he even thought the surgery might help my condition.  Up until a little while ago I was quite nonchalant about it all thinking well if he says no way will he touch me then I will be relieved because I won't have to decide if I want the surgery or not.  But lately I realized I want the surgery and if he says no way then I will basically be crushed.  Because then what, where do I go from there except to an early grave?  I am trying so hard to eat sensibly and to make sure my weight is down for each visit.  I am chosing good food, keeping portions small, using my treadmill, swimming a few days a week, not drinking while eating, not eating bread, gave up carbonated drinks, trying so hard.  If he says he won't do the surgery, should I ask for a second opinion and try to see Dr. Savoie in Bathurst?  If Dr B. says yes I think I will be elated.  So someone keep good thoughts for me please.  I want so much to have this tool installed, I wish so much for my grandchildren to know me as a vital and fun Nana and not as just a photo of a fat lady who is dead.  I have been taking it one day at a time until today and now all of a sudden I am a bundle of nerves.  I have managed to lose large amounts of my weight twice in my life; I have never been able to keep it off.  If this surgery does not happen for me, I feel I will be lost because I know I cannot do this again without something quite elaborate to help me succeed.  The up side is that if he says yes, the secretary has booked me as the last patient on the same day of the gastroscopy to sign my papers.  Oh please, let that happen.  I will keep you posted.

I will say a little prayer that your condition is as mild as possible and you can tell us all what happens at the paper signing meeting thursday night. Try not to worry, as there isn't anything you can do to change the outcome.

You are right Charline, there is nothing I can do to change the outcome and that is the hardest part, having no control.  However, as this goes forward I feel confident that I am strong enough to accept the outcome.  Thank you so much for your promise of prayer.  That along with the support of my wonderful husband will help keep me strong until Thursday.  I will keep you posted.

I am sorry that you are having that problem , & keeping you in suspence about your surgery . I pray that   the condiditon will benefit from the surgery & It will all be a go-ahead for you .  It is so hard to wait  when you have your heart set on the  surgery for help.
Good Luck  & Please let us know how this has turned out for you....
Be brave !!

Thanks Cat for your kind words.  I have found this forum to be the most caring and invested group of people.  I read everyone's stories, keep track of their progress and rejoice for every milestone with everyone.  I have posted a few times and have always been met with positive comments.  Tomorrow will come when tomorrow comes and I will have the test and then I will know.  If I can have the surgery I am pretty confident that any pre-op testing will be a breeze compared to this one.  I certainly will keep you posted, look to hear from me tomorrow night.
Ann

I will be waiting ......good luck.       

Oh dear, you must be on pins and needles.  Keep the faith, babe and we all have our fingers and toes crossed for you.  I bet you aren't going to get much sleep tonight.  Good luck and look forward to your post tomorrow!!