Spousal support??

Did anyone have a problem with their spouse thinking that the only reason you wanted the surgery because it's the easy way out and you are just lazy??? Granted since I had my son in January I haven't had a lot of energy from taking care of him all the time and working full time... He says he supports me in anything I do but then he says this.. I guess he's heard some horror stories about people always being in pain after and he doesn't want me to go through that... Just wondering if anyone else had this problem and what you did to help them understand..

My husband was totally against me doing it in the beginning because he felt I had not tried enough on my own to lose it the "old fashioned" way. We even had a huge fight in front of my surgeon and I sent my husband back to work and finished my consultation with my surgeon alone. He eventually came around, and now he is happy as a lark that I had it done. The difference that the surgery has made in my life is tremendous. I hope that you will come to the meeting on Wednesday night, you can bring him with you if you would like, or you can come alone. I would love a chance to talk to you about everything in person. I would like to talk to you about both the pros and cons of the surgery, all I can tell you about is my own personal experiences and hope that you use that to help guide you in the right direction. I hope to see you on Wednesday. Rhonda

So far we are planning to go.. Rick is going to come with me... I think he has a lot of questions about all of this.. I told hime that Dr.Dolan was going to be there and I'm sure if he had any questions the Doctor would answer them... I know he wants me to be happy but I think it comes down to he wants me to try a diet one more time before I make the desicion to have the surgery.. If I do have it, I'm going to wait till January because of my leave from work.. I would like to have 4 weeks saved up and that will not be till then...

My husband was against it at first too. He never flat out said he thought I was taking the easy route, but he insinuated it. Everything completely changed when I took him to the seminar. Before the seminar, I told my husband I wanted his 100% support on this, but I was doing it with or without his support. Good luck! Brandi :~)

April, My husband is also against it. I'm sorry that we both have to go through this but I am glad to hear I am not alone. I am having Lapband and my husband thinks the doctor is only doing WLS for the money. I have asked that he just trust me and support me on this. The Doc even explained everything and answered his questions but it did not help. He says having to go back for check ups will affect any job I have and cost money. I want to be healthy more than be thin. I think he afraid he is losing his eating partner. I don't know what to tell you cause I need advice too. Cindi

I have been there, done that, and got the Tshirt!! It was a fight to the end for me to have my surgery! He did not make ANYTHING easy for me, you can read my journal and see some of the things I went though. But you know what? I didn't care that he didn't want me to have it .HE was not the one that had to live life every day weighing 300+ pounds, and HE didn't have to put up with people's rude comments, and not being able to fit into anything! I did it for me, to help myself, and so I wouldn't die a young death from being morbidly obese. I had surgery 12/13/05, and I had my share of complications, but I made it, and I left the hospital weighing 356, although my preop weight was 329, I had a lot of fluid build up, but as of right now I weigh 222 that is a LONG way from where I started! It has saved my life in more ways than one. Ultimately what my hubby's problem was, was that he was using my extra weight as a 'defense mechanism'--as long as he kept me 'fat' he felt like nobody would look at me, and I would never leave him. He sees now that having the surgery was the best thing I could have done. He is always telling me how skinny I look, and how pretty I am and how much he loves me. I'm not saying that is what your hubby is thinking about not wanting you to have the surgery, I just know what I went through with my hubby. Maybe you can talk him into going to a seminar with you so he can get more infromation on it. Hope this helps, Hugs Crystal

I'm just beginning this whole process - trying to get a referral so I can make an appt with Dr Salameh, but hubby is cautiously supportive. He's very concerned about my health since both my parents have heart problems. I think the only reason he doesn't seem more gung-ho about the lap-band is that he's afraid he'll hurt my feelings by insinuating that I'm much too big and need to do something!

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone in this battle... Hopefully he'll come around after the support group meeting on Wednesday.

My husband was very very afraid that I might die. He really did not believe that the surgery would work. After about 6 months, since my weight came off slowly at first, he began to see the changes. Now he is surprised and tickled, but feels that I am small enough. I just dropped to a size 12. He does not want me to get smaller, but this is something you cannot control. Each time I think I have reached setpoint, I drop again, and you guessed it, ANOTHER set of clothes have to be purchased. I have spent a fortune on pants!!!! BUT, I do have a LOT of energy, I can outwalk my husband now, my knees don't hurt anymore and I feel Great and very happy. My tummy sometimes gives me a problem, if I have eaten off the diet, and when I feel unwell or tired, I go to bed and have a long sleep. It seems to help more than anything else. Please tell your husband, that for some of us, it is not the easy way out, it is the only option. And, the journey is not an easy one. You will NEVER be able to eat what you want like a large dinner, dessert, candy and other things again!!!! Make no mistake it is a total life change and you cannot regress.....We do not know normal, until after surgery....... Good luck on your journey, we will be here for support and advise if you need us.... Cheryl

My husband told me, "if this is what you want to do, we'll do it." However at my one year anniversary, he told me he DID NOT WANT me to go thru with this! And I did not have a clue he was so against it at the time. He felt like it was a death sentence, but he knew I had to do something and didn't say a word against it. Now he is so happy that I had it! Most husbands start out thinking this is not a good thing and wind up being very happy you did it and it turns out that they think it was their idea to begin with!!!! smoochies arlies