what ya eatting?

ME ? WAY too much and the wrong stuff at that! I got to get back on my daily post where i can try to get a handle on this before i start gaining wt! So ya'll let me have it im tough i can handle the flames, i promise! Ok im gonna tell it all , kindda scared but here goes! YICKS!!!!!!!!!!!! 700 one piece of whole wheat toast with 1 tbs peanut butter 800-1030 work out with pt on abds,spin class, work out again with pt on other bad spots! hehe 1100 green salad with broccoli, cucumbers with that new spray vingerette dressing 1 piece of sausage and green olive pizza! BAD 1/2 piece of pepperoni pizza! AWFUL 1130 one sugar free blue bell ice cream bar BAD 100 more sugar free vanilla ice cream with grape nuts sprinkled on top 500 one diet rock star 600 one homemade taco on low carb wrap with guac, sour cream, cheese, and salsa oh and handful or 2 of chips and salsa and guac! BAD BAD SO there you have it , i guess it does help that i ed up everything i ate today except breakfast, but still these choices i made are very bad, whats wrong with me? Im gonna have a protein shake before bed ! OH I forgot somewhere in there today i also drank 1/2 of a REAL COKE , it was my kids , i took it and downed that thing! DAWN~~

I know somebody else that eats tuna for breakfast all the time! hehe HUH SARA? LOL Your right you dont eat very much , i eat 3 -4 times that amount i wish i had to worry about getting too little cals in , its always the oppisate for me i get way over my 1200 alot of days! dawn~~

This is going to hurt me but I am confessing so you will know how bad I am right now. I have it bad people. I need help. Only me can do it I know. I need something. My therapist is going to get it come Tuesday. She is going to have to help me out here. Something is definitely going on. No period either this month. Just bad cramps. Maybe that is contributing. I don't know. I am one week late. Okay 4:30 this morning pk of nabs and one poptart one cup of milk too much at one time and don't need any sugar at all 12 noon 3 pears halves with mayo and cheese--some diet rootbeer--about 3 chick nuggets skillet cooked--unbreaded. 2 pm 1/2 cup cottage cheese and fruit out of jar--fresh mango and pineapple 3pm slushy from drug store--too sweet I know 4 pm 3 bites of pound cake 6pm 3 homemade cho chip cookies.... cup of coffee with equal and milk Okay t his is the deal if you don't get it. I live for sweets. I did before my surgery and am back there now. I have no will power. I know I need to exclude all sugar for a few days and it will get better. Oh dear I am stressed about this. I don't want to fail. Please say a little prayer for me. Jane

WELL JANIE that dont look like alot of food to me! YHEA you LOVE your sweets , so do I! Lets do it together starting now no more sweets for us! Im serious , i will cut them out if you will do it with me! I will also give up my salty chips and crackers i have a big problem with wheat thins , i cant stop eatting them once i start! I need to get back to the basics PROTEIN and Veggies for the main part of my diet! I have got to get the rest of this wt off i will be a year out next week and im still not at goal! Im very stressed out over that too, so its making me eat even more ! I dont want to fail either, and most days thats what i feel like is a failer, since im not a size 4 and 120 lbs and still not at my goal wt when others that had there surgery mos after me are already there! YHEA YHEA i know the song "we are all differant and loose at differant rates!"YADA YADA it still dont make it any easier when your the fat one still! OK OK im rambleing and on my soap box tonight! Im sure i will have a differant out look tomorrow! Oh and yhea i will say a prayer for you , you say one for me too , please? DAWN~~

Girl, you look great. Size 4 ain't the goal. Healthy is the goal. And girlfriend there is a such thing as too skinny. And I have seen some who have gotten to the skinny point of looking really bad. It is like John says, women look better with a little extra meat on their bones as opposed to not enough. So, I will just keep my J. Lo booty LOL and be happy with it. You are not a failure. You have accomplished so much and you have become the queen of exercise. And I just bet one of these days you will be that personal trainer you want to be and help others accomplish their goals. I am proud of you. And you should be very proud of your beautiful self. Love ya, Melissa

HAHA GIRL YOU aint seen me, so how you know what i look like? hehe Sara is the only one on here that KNOWS how bad I still look! HAHA BUT you are SO right a size 4 is not my goal , i guess a size 8 is more like it ! I still wt 180 lbs and im a size 10 , I hate that number cant get past it! just 15- 20 more lbs and i will be very happy(i think, hehe)! I will never be too skinny, thats not what im going for , my hubby HATES that too ! GOOD thing, huh? lol Oh and I'm TRYing to get a J.LO booty haha , IF i could just switch my front around to my back i would have it ! hehe I keep compairing myself to all of you guys and , i shouldnt , im not ya'll . im me i will never wt 130 lbs and i guess thats ok, I can only be as good as Dawn can be! Make since? I dont know what was wrong with me last night! Im just getting frustrated im working so hard , and it coming off so slow, seems like its so fast for everybody else. I will be needing advice from you soon I will be getting me some plastics this fall, gonna give the gym 6 more mos before i throw in the towel and get it cut off! thanks for the pep talk i needed it! DAWN~~

I know the last pictures I saw of you at that dinner were good. You looked good to me. You are right, though. You are not us. You are Dawn and about 3 or 4 inches taller than me which means you can weigh more and be the same size as me. If you weighed 130 we wouldn't be able to see you LOL. You gotta remember you be a tall girl and you can weigh more and still be small. If I weighed 180 I can assure you I would not be able to squeeze into a size 10. At 150 I was a 10. I be's a short girl so I have to weigh less. And a size 10 is little, girlfriend. So, you quit referring to yourself as big. I bet I wouldn't even recognize you if I ran into you on the street. We gotta get together soon. It has been forever since I have seen you. I got to see the results of your workouts, sister. I bet you are buff. I have been slack on my exercise for the last few months. I have let my job interfere with me doing what I love and taking care of me. I have been exercising some but not like I used to. But I am about to change that. I am done letting this job keep me from the gym. So, you need to keep me motivated on the exercise front and I will try and keep you motivated on the food front. Just call me when you get ready for plastics. I will share my info. Melissa

I dont even reconize myself half the time! hehe I guess thats a good thing! My arms, shoulders, and legs and behind are all in pretty good shape only alittle toaning left to go until BUFF! BUt my TUMMY and BOOBIES sure aint! Hince the 2 things im gonna get cut on and enhanced! hehe Its very easy to let life and work and whatever get in the way of exercise , but I try to put it pretty high on my list , cause im scared if i start slacking that will be all she wrote! hehe I do love it though! I do want to get paid to exercise , ONE DAY! I dont think i would get much business now , with the shape im in , but that is my goal , NEXT year! My pt is helping me get my aerobiecs instructors certificate first then we will go from there, who knows where it might lead! i have never been the ambishious type, never realy wanted to Do anything , but this is differant , i want it more than anything! I don't even talk about it with people in my everyday life, too scared that i will never get good enough to do something in the fitness field, so SHHHHH its our secret! hehe I agree we all need to get together soon , i miss you all! dawn~~

Okay, now for my confession for yesterday so that you all can see how horrible my food choices are too, and I am sure it will all catch up with me one day. B- maple and brown sugar low sugar oatmeal, two pieces of white toast L- Went to Mex Rest with coworker- chips with cheese dip and guacamole dip and 1/4 of greasy soft beef taco S- chocolate chip cookie (NOT sugar free) D- OMG.... went to IP Casino buffet... 4 pieces of crab meat, one piece of fried chicken (thigh), a spoon of mac & cheese, spoon of butterbeans, a piece of lemon meringue pie and four strawberries drenched with white chocolate. I was so miserable from eating all of this that I thought I was going to die... S- bowl of fruit loops at about 2 a.m. (can't believe I woke up hungry) I ate HORRIBLE..... but I barely ate anything for four days after my gallbladder surgery.. not that that makes it okay, cause it don't. I have got to adapt a healthier diet and I need to get my lazy butt to the gym and tone up!! Fuss at me PLEASE!!! I deserve it! Rhonda

Today: 12 noon- 1 chicken strip- 4 bites low fat no added sugar ice cream( didn't stay down, kept the chicken)...6 pm- took corn from 1/2 ear...Grilled onions...1 tiny bite hamb' steak. I'll figure it out one day!