I feel weird - sorry this is long
Not sure if this is normal. To start with in Jan. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. I went to the seminar & sent in the application because I felt it was a last resort. I asked God to help me with the decision & if it was right, to please open all the doors for me. My parents had a few negative things to say & I nearly backed out of even going to the seminar. It seemed so fast. Within about 2-3 wks from sending in the application I was having my nutritional & psych eval. I was so nervous. Still asking God to help me know what was right. We went on vacation that week (last week) & got to go to all the outlet malls (yes, i like that stuff- would like it better if 'I' got to get something). Most of the time I was thinking about how i would feel if I was thinner & able to shop. Then on the beach in Gulf Shores I was thinking about how nice it would feel to be there a thinner person & not feeling like a beached whale. I do that all the time & usually feel miserable but this time I didn't feel horrible or desperate. I was pretty much at peace. Hope atleast one of ya'll can relate. anyway, The Monday after we came home I found out I am approved for surgery!!! I was in shock! Still nervous or whatever. But I keep thinking "I asked God to open the doors for me if this was the right thing for me & he has done that." I keep thinking about how I will do before, during & after surgery. Praying for no complications. How could my kids or family ever understand why I am doing this if I don't make it? Also, although I know the weight will have to come off, but I just can't imagine myself losing more than 10 #s much less getting anywhere near goal!!! My dr. said a goal weight would be around 125#s....I can't imagine being under 200! A few moments before starting this post I felt true excitement thinking about maybe having the surgery in 2 months (if i can get the date I'm hoping for). I'm so wound up with so many different emotions I can't explain it, but I have peace too which I know (or I want to believe) is coming from above. I maybe a baby in Christ (my pastor calls new christians- I was saved & baptized in Mar. 2004) but I feel I'm not alone. Now I have some ?'s. I'll be having an open RNY. My mom will be babysitting my 3 daughers for the most part during my hospital stay& some after. I know I won't be able to take care of them full time for a while...especially my 7 yr old. I love her to death but she is short tempered & has a temper problem. Her doctor said she just has an extremely short fuse. She has tantrums alot & is difficult at times to say the least. So I guess even a few days after surgery the girls will be away full time except for visits. Then we'll have mom to babysit while DH works. They are mama's babies so it will still be hard on me cuz they think everything they need or want should be done or gotten by mama. They'll have to let dad help! Also one thing I'm excited about is my sister Stephanie will be taking some time off to help me out, but she also has a baby so I don't know how we'll juggle it.
Darn, now I forgot all the ?'s I was going to ask. lol, I'll post them later! & give ya'll a break for the moment! Thanks if you made it this far.
Melissa
oh girl i hate to tell ya, but you are normal! You should have seen some of the post i was makeing last May they looked very much like yours, only longer and more rambeling. haha I was bounceing off the walls , (still am somedays). I had 2 yr old twins last year when i had my surgery, i didnt think they would make it with mama in the hospital a few day and then a few weeks without picking them up , but to my surprise they done just fine, as i'm sure your girls will too. I was at peace with my decision from the start , i wanted this surgery SO bad i could taste it, i didn't get nervous until the morning of surgery. I can remember sitting on the beach right before surgery , now normaly i wouldn't go anywhere near the beach at 271 lbs, but i sat there and just smiled and I KNEW that this is the last time i will sit here looking like this. I'm still not ready for a bikini,but i bet by july-aug I will be, i can't wait to sit there and think back to that day i sat there at 271 lbs smiling , knowing that i would be differant the next year.
Now try to remember those questions you had, i'm bored need something to do besides look in the frig! haha
dawn~~
Just relax and breathe sweety. This is a really big decision in your life and a really big step for you to take towards better health. But in a way it is scary. Our fat and eating has protected us in some way over the years and subconsciously it is hard to give up. The questions you have and the feelings you have are normal. That is where we all come in. We are here to help you through your journey. So don't ever hesitate to share with us what you are feeling and the questions you have. Just shoot me an email and I will share my phone number with you and be glad to just talk and listen. Just whatever you need.
Melissa
When things start to roll, it can be scary, I felt that way even after 5 years of research and talking to dozens of folks about the surgery. Afterwards I grieved for all the food I lost the chance to eat, then slowly and slowly, I felt better and I got thinner little by little, one day, I realized that I could climb steps again without pain, and I felt good! When my thighs stopped rubbing togather, I thought that is as good as it gets, but no, it still is going own and I am shrinking again. Now I am the smallest person in my family, and it feels so good! This is your own decision and you need to realize that it is one which will change your life for the rest of your life, you must follow the diet and make a life long change, if you are ready, then go for the surgery, if not, then just postpone it until you are!
Cheryl
well girl u know my story and i was scared to death and i even put janet off and thought i can do this on my own until that day in july when my butt almost didnt fit in the batman ride at six flags!!!that monday i called janet and said lets do this.i was scared to death but knew i might not be around for my kids later or be an ill mother they have to take care of too soon.my life is much better now and i wouldnt trade my decsion for anything.i wish i had dont it sooner! its natural to be scared. and honestly i didnt need a whole lot of help afterwards. i wasnt sick and i was up and around moping and washing clothes. my couldnt take off to help me and so my husband was there at night but everyhting was back to normal pretty much after a fewdays out of hospital(once i was rested up) i napped when they did and i didnt pick them up, other than that i was normal.relax girl its gonna owrk out
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