I'm upset

Okay people I have been needing to confess something for about 6 weeks now. I don't know where to begin. I am grazing on the wrong foods. I think of food constantly and become obsessed if I can't put something in my mouth. Even a piece of hard candy will do but I feel like I will go nuts if I don't find something. I have been lots better since our luncheon and I am trying so hard. I have gained 2 pds and that is devastating to me because this is my first. I feel like it represents what it used to when going to Weigh****chers. The beginning of a failure AGAIN. I don't know what the deal is. I know Melissa and Christine said it would come. That I would get my appetite back. I don't care what it is either just so it is SOMETHING!! I need prayer and please know I am very serious abou this. I just don't know. I wondered about over eaters. I am stressed right now but also believe the honeymoon is over. That is why I need to try harder instead of eating more of the wrong things. To list a few things I do wrong every day--sweet tea, lots of cheese and a few crackers. I can't list it all. I just eat constantly. A cucumber and then 15 minutes later a slice of cheese and then 30 minutes later a cup of hot cho and then it goes on and on. I guess it all adds up and it is catching up with me. I did have on a heavy velvet type dress and I haven't had a period in 3 months. I don't know. I just know I want want want. Thank you for listening. I am trying my best to eat just meals and protein shakes for snacks--2 a day. I like them and they are chocolate. I like that. I need to be with all of you more. i will be coming to t he next Hattiesburg meeting. Count me in. I need it badly. Just remember me. It has been effortless until now and I am terrified because I have always failed in the past at this dieting game. Love Jane

AWWWWWW Jane I'm sorry that you are going through this but i can assure you that i know of at least 3 other people on here , myself inculded, that are dealing with the same issues. It has been this way for me from almost day 1, i have always wanted to eat everything in site , and somedays i do! I am also obcessed with this whole wls thing, its all i think about, i feel like i cant even lead a normal life anymore, its totally consumeing my life. I too am terrified of failing at this, like every other time i have tryed to lose wt. I have to spent alot of time praying about this myself, i will pray for strength for both of us. hugs, dawn

I am very appreciative of all you have to say and welcome your input. I know one thing I don't drink--at all. I take in maybe 20 oz of liquid a day. That is ridiculous. I just don't want it. Anyway thanks for being there. Jane

Yep, the time comes for almost everyone. That dreaded day you get your appetite back or you realize you have a problem with food. I knew I had a problem with food and from day 1 I started to work on my head because the surgery only fixed my stomach. It is a challenge daily, I tell you, but you have taken that first step in getting control and recovering. You admit you have a problem and you are conscious of what you are doing. That is great. Now, you have to really get to know yourself. Journaling helped me identify my trigger foods and other emotional reasons I want to eat. I have read some really good self help books on emotional eating and binge eating that have really helped me to get a hold of myself and stay on track. It is a conscious effort and a one day at a time process. WLS is only a tool, and those first months it gives you effortless success in shedding those pounds. It is in those first few months you should develop the new eating habits and tackle the mental aspects of what caused you to need WLS in the first place. Now the real work begins. But you can do it. You have faith in the Lord, and through him we can do anything. So, have faith in yourself and we are here for you when you need us. Unfortunately, we will probably always have to work diligently and consciously at staying healthy and maintaining a healthy weight just as alcoholics and drug addicts have to always keep their guard up. We will never really be a normal skinny person. But we can succeed and stay healthy as long as we are always willing to do the things necessary like eating healthy and exercising and going to support group meetings and reaching out to others like ourselves who understand. I am by no means perfect, and I have my moments of struggling. Like since my plastic surgery I have been at home and dealing with lots of stress due to my recovery and my Dad's illness. I, at times, feel I could eat the house down. I am ready to go back to work so I don't have so much time to fixate on what I am eating. I just have to occupy my mind with other things which is hard when you are recovering from surgery and can't do anything (exercise) but sit around. You all know my coping mechanism is exercise. I exercise when I want to eat. And I am without my coping mechanism right now. So, pray for me as well LOL. Maybe I will find something else to fall back on. If you need me, I am here. And will talk anytime you need to. Lots of hugs coming out to you, Melissa

One thing I have found too is to stay busy. That is the name of the game. That and not having certain foods in the house. If I could eat meat like chicken I would be a lot more satisfied I think. I feel like I am trying ot quench some inner hunger or thirst. It is weird. I even thought maybe I have a low level or something. Just an appetite I guess.lol I knew the week your dad was so sick was mentally draining for you because you were not yourself with your surgery and all. I am glad he is better. When daddy is sick I fold too. He is my rock. Thanks for being there. I have wanted to tell all of you for weeks now. I was just so upset with myself though. I am trying really hard and do stay busy. Thanks and love Jane

First thing, forgive yourself for being human. Don't ever let it get you down because when we get down we want to eat even more. So love yourself even with the faults. Try looking in the mirror every morning right out of bed and say I love you. That is really hard to do at first because we are so used to putting ourselves down and thinking we are failures. So, learn to love yourself, faults and quirks and all. If we could just love ourselves like we do our children or like God loves us, it would be a lot easier LOL. Don't ever be afraid to share what is going on because we understand 100%. I don't drink enough either. I just don't want it. I just don't ever get thirsty. But my nutritionists says I do. She says we mistake thirst for hunger. And if I would just drink enough that would help curb some of the need to eat. So, I am making a conscious effort once again to drink more. It is hard though because water makes me want to gag LOL. We will make it together. Melissa

Well, first of all....no period in 3 months.....could there be something going on here? If not, then is there a problem you need to look into? I find myself wanting to nibble alot especially at night. And I have been bouncing up and down on the scales about 3 pounds - today I was one pound more than yesterday, but my feet were swollen and tomorrow I may be 3 pounds less than today, but the next I may be 3 or 4 pounds up! So I am trying NOT to weigh so often - I have fallen off the weigh only once a month wagon cause I am getting close to going under a big goal and I can hardly wait! To combat the munchies, I drink! NO SWEET drinks! Bad Jane, Bad!!!! When I finish this drink I am on, I will have consumed at LEAST 116 ounces today....It'll be a little more when I take my meds later tonight. The nimbles MAY just be because you are thirsty because I bet you aren't drinking like you used to. I know I haven't been, but the last week or so, I have made myself drink at least 3 quarts aday (that's 96 ounces)....I am still bouncing a little, but the numbers I am bouncing between are getting lower!! Sometimes when we want to eat, we really are thirsty and can't tell the difference. I keep telling myself if it is between meal times and I want to eat, "Oh, I must be thristy" and I am drinking, drinking, drinking and then drinking some more....But PLEASE cut out the sweet tea unless you can make it using equal or splenda - even before surgery, my motto was "if it has calories, I have to be able to chew it!" That leaves ALL sugary drinks out. Don't despair, Jane, It's just a bump in the road....How could you be a failure????Didn't I just see you the other day with your very first belt on? Didn't you look like a MILLION bucks or two at lunch the other day? Yep, to both questions! You are already a success!!! And don't be so hard on yourself! You are a winner at loosing!!! Hang in there, Janie, it's gonna be a new day tomorrow! And drink, drink, drink, and when you can not bear it anymore, drink some more! Smoochies Arlies

Okay Arlies!! your right. I don't drink 3 glasses of fluid a day. I need to make my own tea with splenda and drink that. I love my tea. I don't exercise. I am starting back to Curves on Wed. I will post and let you know how that goes. My period is off. It has always been reg. but I did find out I had fibroids last Jan. I don't know if that has something to do with itwhat. I suppose hormones can make you eat more too. I just hate to go to the Dr. I know I need to grow up. Well I go to the eye Dr tomorrow and see if I qualify for lasic. I hope so. Thanks for being so sweet and being there. Jane Not preggers had a tubal!

Combo's ---- Combo's are evil! I have developed a new addiction to pretzel combo's. I have tried to rationalize - there is SOME protein value in Combo's, says so on the label - 3 grams. I knew there was a problem when I ate the entire bag as I was reading the label! For me, I have had to find the missing link in my diet. When I get the bad munchies, I am usually neglecting some aspect of my nutrition and the munchies are my bodies way of trying to supplement and get that missing nutrient. So I do still allow myself a serving of the combo's per night (if I am good) and I really push the water. I take my multivitamin and the calcium/potassium supplement and the hunger/munche problem gets better. BUT, if I let it, the EVIL SPELL OF THE COMBO'S WILL STILL GETS ME! james.

Jane, I am right there with you. You pray for me and I will pray for you! Love, Sonya