Bears Take on it all

Ok I was very tempted to just read and not post anything.........I just am tired of the child like behavior of some on here. I mean it is sad that people *****ally want to have HELP and info on obesityHELP.com cant get it since some feel it is there need to see how much trouble they can stir up. I personally know of a bunch of folks that have left our Ms board to other boards because they got so tired of the constant whining and complaining from a certain few. I am not addressing this to any one person......but if you feel it is directed at you then you may need to think about some things. I feel this board helped me more than anyother place I found on the net and in books. The support base was out of this world. Now it is almost non existant. Which is so sad. I know I am as guilty of reading and not posting as anyone. I too was tired of all the fighting but I think it is time to say my say. I hope that the ones that have become just readers will come back and that one day the board can be a great support base again and not anyones personal whine and pity post. This is called ObesityHELP not slam the poster.com so please to those that need to please GROW-UP and be the ADULTS that you claim to be and lets get back to what matters here which is support. Barry -186 03-14-05

God Bless you Barry!

Sorry for the "Broadcast" nature of this reply- Leslie had recently asked if any of us had any regrets.... I'd like to get this answer out to my Mississippi folks, Without A big hullabaloo and without being hit with waves of mud-slinging. Yes, it is a response to Leslie, but I wanted to share it with each of the Members here. Regrets? If you've read the posts lately and wondered Just who some of these "references" were about- I'm that good for nothin' know it all - Source of the smart-but comment about kidney stones. I had seen many, many posts, 4 days in a row About how one poor person out here Was being all but done in by incompetent people at the hospital. She was the victim of bad nurses, staff, and from her anguish It seemed that her docs were not up to the job Of taking care of her either. The post came on the board that her WLS had "CAUSED" her kidney stones In a period of what was then only 3 to 4 days. Although kidney stones can break off from their point of origin/creation And "present" in no time at all, They do in fact take a good bit more time to grow. Continued mineral deposit and insufficien****er causes them. This Is something that shows up in folks who have WLS surgery When then spend a good bit of time not getting the water intake they need. But NOT in 3 Days! Just Does not happen. It was posted as if they just happened, that moment, as a result "from the surgery," The way one might suddenly develop a blood-clot. That mis-perception and characterization of the problem, COUPLED with the Deluge of posts about how incompetent the People who were working on her had been, Led me to post, in sympathy of her dilemma- That she should get to some other group of doctors- And leave those folks! The ones that had been messing her up For days in the hospital where All sorts of horrors were being reported! My glib comment was intended to AGREE with her position that she Needed some Far Better Care! I clearly should not have offered support in that way. Rather than a "slam" at the people who were "messing her over" She took it as a personal assault. At the time, everyone one the board was accused of Lying and Leading this person to her near demise. From recent posts, The rest of the board seems to be on it's way to being forgiven For being "a pack of liars," But I remain singled out continually For stupidly mixing my support and sympathy With humor and sarcasm. Sarcasm aimed at those who would hurt this person. I had spent days, rallying prayers for her (still do) And I had gathered support for out on the main-board With my usual- "Hey folks, stop by and drop a line of support for..... "She's been So Supportive for so long while waiting for surgery of her own..." And, it seemed to get many folks from other states from across the country To lift her up in prayer as well. So regrets? Even though I'm one of those who had severe complications I have no regrets concerning my surgery. I've gone from 385lbs to 179lbs and have held at that weight for just Over 9 months now without working at it. I just get full sooner, and while "on the mend" for my first 9 months I re-learned eating habits that have served me well since. BUT- I do miss and regret - Being able to be part of the Local Mississippi State Board Along with the others who have e-mailed me recently to say- "That's why I don't post there anymore....." Sweet bunch of folks here! Very dear and supportive. I miss our weekly "chat-rooms" back those couple of months When we were really an active and supportive local board. We were as active and our numbers were growing to rival Alabama big time! So Many of you, In fact nearly all, make me feel welcome here. But, I'm clearly a source of irritation to some Even when I post on the main board and some mention it or "heaven forbid" re-post it here. It seems that now, just the memory of my posting is enough to warrant several Negative mentions. As in- http://obesityhelp.com/forums/MS/postdetail/26549.html?vc=0 Well, I'll still be out on the Boards, and dropping by support For those here. I'll even keep getting my little ladies at the Methodist Church to Rally up a slew of prayers for those who need it. But, as a source of obvious irritation to primary members of the Mississippi I'll avoid posting here in the future. Eventually the memory of me, and the mis-understanding of what I meant By Joking about those "already said to be incompetent medical folks," Will fade away. Immortalized in profile only, I hope. I hope you don't find your support misunderstood one day. Best Wishes- Dx

Hey - Good goin' - I absolutely do not post as often, and absolutely do not even look at a certain post or two because they are sooo very negative ALL THE TIME - making snide remarks and such that are passively agressively aimed at anyone supporting surgery. Yes, the surgery is HARD, it's surgery - they cut you open, they move things around, and most of us are overweight and out of shape, or have diabetes, back problems, and many other comorbidities, so it is even harder on some of us...BUT, it is MUCH MUCH easier than not being able to walk because we are overweight, or even sleep at night because of the weight on the chest, or a shortened lifespan because of the many problems that come with obesity. It is not the EASY way out, but it is what was best for most of us - that's why we have a SUPPORT board - TO GET SUPPORT! If it were easy and a "piece of cake", none of us would even need each other. I really do need you people! I personally really miss the group that have moved on over to the other peer groups - and that is what we will get - sure, we'll have a few that stay and take it or just ignore it, really caring people, but lots of people will simply just go away because not everybody likes tension and snide remarks about the surgery or about other people, etc. I love my board the way it was, and I love the ones of you who have stayed and still support newbies, oldies, etc......DeAnna

Sorry for the "Broadcast" nature of this reply- Leslie had recently asked if any of us had any regrets.... I'd like to get this answer out to my Mississippi folks, Without A big hullabaloo and without being hit with waves of mud-slinging. Yes, it is a response to Leslie, but I wanted to share it with each of the Members here. Regrets? If you've read the posts lately and wondered Just who some of these "references" were about- I'm that good for nothin' know it all - Source of the smart-but comment about kidney stones. I had seen many, many posts, 4 days in a row About how one poor person out here Was being all but done in by incompetent people at the hospital. She was the victim of bad nurses, staff, and from her anguish It seemed that her docs were not up to the job Of taking care of her either. The post came on the board that her WLS had "CAUSED" her kidney stones In a period of what was then only 3 to 4 days. Although kidney stones can break off from their point of origin/creation And "present" in no time at all, They do in fact take a good bit more time to grow. Continued mineral deposit and insufficien****er causes them. This Is something that shows up in folks who have WLS surgery When then spend a good bit of time not getting the water intake they need. But NOT in 3 Days! Just Does not happen. It was posted as if they just happened, that moment, as a result "from the surgery," The way one might suddenly develop a blood-clot. That mis-perception and characterization of the problem, COUPLED with the Deluge of posts about how incompetent the People who were working on her had been, Led me to post, in sympathy of her dilemma- That she should get to some other group of doctors- And leave those folks! The ones that had been messing her up For days in the hospital where All sorts of horrors were being reported! My glib comment was intended to AGREE with her position that she Needed some Far Better Care! I clearly should not have offered support in that way. Rather than a "slam" at the people who were "messing her over" She took it as a personal assault. At the time, everyone one the board was accused of Lying and Leading this person to her near demise. From recent posts, The rest of the board seems to be on it's way to being forgiven For being "a pack of liars," But I remain singled out continually For stupidly mixing my support and sympathy With humor and sarcasm. Sarcasm aimed at those who would hurt this person. I had spent days, rallying prayers for her (still do) And I had gathered support for out on the main-board With my usual- "Hey folks, stop by and drop a line of support for..... "She's been So Supportive for so long while waiting for surgery of her own..." And, it seemed to get many folks from other states from across the country To lift her up in prayer as well. So regrets? Even though I'm one of those who had severe complications I have no regrets concerning my surgery. I've gone from 385lbs to 179lbs and have held at that weight for just Over 9 months now without working at it. I just get full sooner, and while "on the mend" for my first 9 months I re-learned eating habits that have served me well since. BUT- I do miss and regret - Being able to be part of the Local Mississippi State Board Along with the others who have e-mailed me recently to say- "That's why I don't post there anymore....." Sweet bunch of folks here! Very dear and supportive. I miss our weekly "chat-rooms" back those couple of months When we were really an active and supportive local board. We were as active and our numbers were growing to rival Alabama big time! So Many of you, In fact nearly all, make me feel welcome here. But, I'm clearly a source of irritation to some Even when I post on the main board and some mention it or "heaven forbid" re-post it here. It seems that now, just the memory of my posting is enough to warrant several Negative mentions. As in- http://obesityhelp.com/forums/MS/postdetail/26549.html?vc=0 Well, I'll still be out on the Boards, and dropping by support For those here. I'll even keep getting my little ladies at the Methodist Church to Rally up a slew of prayers for those who need it. But, as a source of obvious irritation to primary members of the Mississippi I'll avoid posting here in the future. Eventually the memory of me, and the mis-understanding of what I meant By Joking about those "already said to be incompetent medical folks," Will fade away. Immortalized in profile only, I hope. I hope you don't find your support misunderstood one day. Best Wishes- Dx

Couldn't agree with you more Bear, Couldn't agree with you more huggggggggggggsss Sherry

Barry, Like you, I've felt the exact same way. I've seriously done MUCH thinking about this today and have come to a personal conclusion. IF we leave this board, the one's of us that truly need the support, aren't we cutting off our nose to spite our face? I think so. Plus, the pre ops get so much information from those of us that care to share it. I certainly know I did and still do, especially from our local support groups. Not all of us can attend those though ... sooooooo, we NEED to make a conscience choice to post more inspiring posts here. Realistic but inspiring as well ... I believe attitude is everything. Doctors and surgeons alike will tell you someone that has a positive outlook many times (not ALWAYS) but many times ... heals more quickly and have a less eventful recovery. For me, part of that attitude came from people here. I was offered SUPPORT and I graciously accepted it, knowing that support doesn't ensure a surgery with no complications. It is what it is ... emotional support. People telling you they care about you and what you're going through. Let's start doing that again ... just being here for one another and avoiding the negative at all costs. I can't handle the drama ... I have enough (as we all do) in my life without self-inflicting more. Peace, Kimberly

Kimberly - you are so right! I for one really need all of you guys for support and positive guidance since most of you guys have already had the surgery and are a wealth of information. This site is my "alone time" with friends who pretty much know where I am and how I am feeling. I go to this site for information, support, guidance, and friendship. I don't have to get on the boards to see bickering and fighting, I have a 4 yr old and a 10 year old that take care of that on a daily basis! lol Marci M

Marci, you seem like such a sweet sweet person and I am really glad to see you on here more and more. I hope that you do get good support from us here, and get a surgery date soon. D

Thank you so much DeAnna! I just don't know what I would do without this site to go to. There are so many questions that I have gotten answered just by reading everyone else's posts, you should see the binder I have started from printing out all of this good information! You guys are the greatest and I appreciate all of you! Marci