hello all long time no post lol

I am just in a chatty mood today and thought I would post. lol lol I have not really updated in a while not that anyone really cares but... lol lol lol lol I am currently down 122 lbs. down from 307 to 185. Feeling pretty great and totally enjoying buying new winter clothes. lol Finally can do some shopping in places like New York and CO and not worry about finding fat clothes anymore. I would like to lose another 35 lbs to put me at 150. Then try and work really really hard to get down to about 135. As far as the baby making still no go. I did fertility drugs last month but nothing happened. Well I guess I should not say that, I finally started my period on my own this month. Which was a good thing. We shall see if I start again on my own next month and hopefully I will get back to being regular. Kinda have mixed feelings about taking those fertility drugs again. I just get so out of wack on those. I mean I feel like I obsess on being on the schedule sex wise and everything and I hate that even more so for my husband. I think I am just going to take a break and see what happens on my own. As of right this min. I am kinda thinking about not trying anymore anyways. And let what happens happen. But then again I could get obsessive next month and start the drugs back again. lol lol You can never tell about me. lol lol Sometimes I just feel like my life is just not complete without a child but then again I look at how God has blessed me with my husband. Something funny I told my friend the other day....... If I would have married me I would have divorced me in a week. lol lol I know God has blessed me with a man that loves me no matter what *****ness and all. lol lol Then again I also told my friend that I would never be friends with me.lol lol now what does that say for her. lol lol Just seems like lately I am so on edge. Maybe those darned hormones are just so out of wack hopefully that will all get me back on track. I am really starting to like myself again you know. I like looking in the mirror I like getting dressed in the am. I just am really starting to feel better with myself. I know in the beginning I felt so great losing the weight and then I felt like I was going through some funk or something after about 6 months out. I do think I put so much pressure on my body to get pg. I would obsess with going to the pg after wls board on this site and read about these women getting pg even 2 months after surg and here i sit 1 year after surgery and it being ok to get pg and i cant even do that. I am trying to just stay away from that message board and stop obsessing about it so much and just live my life and enjoy what God has given me thus far. I am also having stupid snacking probs. I know we all have them but I wish I could turn that switch off in my head. I know that this is truly not the best time of year to fall back into all those bad habits. I am also addicted to coffee. I drink it all day long. I think part of me is like well drink some coffee and you wont be hungry. lol lol At least I am not putting sugar in it. I use splenda and creamer. I was going by the coffee house and getting one of those coffees every day and decided I could at least save some money by making my own and taking a thermus to work. Of course with this cooler weather I know i drink more than I should. Does anyone know if this is really that bad for us? okay so now i feel like i am rambling or maybe it is just all the coffee lo lol. Just felt like I was due an update. I hope everyone else is doing good. Let's try and jump start this board and post more. Hey you know we should start a secret pal program. We could have one monitor that had all our address and we would draw names and just send small gifts and cards special times of the year. you know anniv, birthdays, xmas and just because what ya'll think. Maybe it is a little late this year but think about it for the first of the year. just a thought. Oh well later girls and guys! Love ya all! Denise

Hey, Denise. Nice to hear from someone different. I'm kind of new to board but had surgery about 2.5 years ago. Yeah, coffee, not supposed to be good for us, think I read ulcers and such, but I drink it too, am really trying to cut down to at least one cup a day. At the moment I am struggling with not SNACKING or grazing, and gaining weight, but moved my treadmill where I can actually get to it and getting to exercise lots like I used to will help get that back under control. Anyway, please post when possible, and CUT DOWN ON THAT COFFEE (LOL). PS..RE pg, yes, sounds like it would not hurt ya to just relax, not think about it, for a short time at least if that is what you want to do. It is promising that you had a period on your own though.

Hi Deanna, Nice to hear from ya. I used to post all the time a couple months back and just stopped not really sure why. I think I was just going through a funk of sorts just didnt really care to share. These are the greatest women here on this site though. They are so full of love and support!. Oh I hope that coffee is not the prob with ulcers cause I will for sure have one with all that I drink. lol lol I can MAKE myself stop the snacking on bad stuff but I just dont think I can stop the coffee. lol I am doing my share of working out though. I go to the Y 5 times a week. I do 40 min of cardio each night along with arm weights on m,w,f and leg weights on t & t. At least I know that I am getting my exercise in. lol Maybe that will make up for all the coffee. lol Take care! Denise

Wow, lots of exercise, that was me through about last winter. This summer it went to POT and I have been gaining. I'm tryin to get active TODAY so I can start losing again. You don't happen to go to the Flowood Y or reservoir ? (that's where I go (or hope to get back to going LOL)). If ya did, maybe you could encourage me to show up some....DeAnna.

Hi Denise, I just wanted to offer some encouragement regarding the pregnancy issue. My daughter was on fertility drugs with no results. She and her husband thought they were going to be moving so quit trying to get pregnant. A couple months later she found out she was pregnant and is due in June 2006. Remember that God's timing is perfect. At the time, it may seem He's running late. But in the end, we can always look back and see that He was right on time. Also, sometimes He wants us to achieve something a different way than we are currently trying. My late husband and I went to a fertility specialist and exhausted all the reasonably costing alternatives. So we decided to try to adopt. We found that I was too old to go through a regular agency, so we decided to tell everyone we knew we wanted to adopt. Two weeks later, one of my husband's customers told us about a co-worker's aunt that was pregnant and not going to keep the baby. Three weeks after that, we had a beautiful baby girl (who is now 9 years old). BTW, God had to provide the money for us to get Hannah because we had very little savings. If it's His will, He will work it out. Don't get discouraged. Just pray to know God's will and be patient while He works out the right time for this to happen. Whether it be by birth or adoption, I pray God will answer your prayers with a resounding YES and teach you more about His Love and His perfect timing!! Deborah

Thanks for the encouragment Deborah I truly appreciate it. It is hard sometimes to be patient. Esp when you keep hearinga about all the stupid crack heads out there popping babies out left and right and then leaving them in the garbage to die. OPps did that sound hateful. lol lol I cant help but get a little mad when getting on this subject. I truly am doing better though. I am more at piece now than I was 9 years ago when we started our baby making journey. Yeah you heard me right we have been trying for over 9 years so I am no newbie at this. lol lol I know that God has wonderful plans for me and one dream has come true and I will be happy with just that one. And that would be my wonderful husband. He is a true God send! Thanks again Denise

Girl, the caffiene in that coffee is gettin' to ya!!!! I think one of probs with coffee is that caffiene has a diruretic effect and may speed or hasten dehydration, but I do enjoy Seattle Drips!!! - sugar free and decaf! I wanna be a secret pal!!!! Please let me be one!!!! Will you be at the bash? We could all write down our names and addys on a slip of paper and then draw! That way we wouldn't have to have a monitor lizard. Please, please!!! I wanna I wanna!!!! I love secret paliness!!!! Not to worry about the babes. I feel like you are such a special person that God has a little guy and/or gal with your name on it - or at least 3 of them!!!!! I was real discouraged for you for a while, and did not work on the baby afghan, but now I am working on it like gang-busters! So maybe.....I hope so....if not, you can borrow Jon, Em and Polly for a while....granted theys be awful big babies by now (except Polly), but they are babies!!!!! Smoochies ARlies

Hey Denise! First of all, *smack* for saying no one cares. You know we loves ya. It's been a little wacky on here lately but it does seem to be getting better. One day when me and the hubby are down in Lumberton we'll have to come to the back 40 and visit with you and your hubby. I think it would be fun. You know I got your back with prayers, prayers and more prayers to the Big Man about you getting pregger. I won't give you any of the little sayings of "o just stop trying then it'll happen" and so on cuz I know that's gotta be annoying lol. But reality is we gotta leave things like this in God's hands, and that can be so hard to do but hey that's when friends and family come into play to support you during the waiting time and to add to your faith. There IS power in numbers when it comes to faith. I love the secret pal idea. We really should try that at the first of the year. But right at the very beginning of January cuz my bday is Jan. 27th! jk Anyways glad to hear from ya and hope to see you soon and WTG on all that weight loss. You're my hero! Hugs and love, Keli

Oh my queen you are just too special to me. lol lol Thanks to everyone for showing the love. lol lol I thought the secret pal idea was a good one to. Okay so now the bad news. Christine is gonna hate me but I cant be at the bash sat. Turns out I got the fema phone call and they are scheduled to come out sat am. Cant miss out on getting my money from those guys on the generator and chain saw we bought. lol lol Anywho if and i do use that term loosley they do come first thing in the am like they say they will we should be able to make it in time but I dont want to make any promises. lol lol if ya'll decide to do the trading of names and add please please please include me!!!!! I want to do the secret pal thing to. I just think it would be a great way for us to stay even closer you know. I dont mind posting my add here or either I will eamil it so that ya'll have it to add to the pot. Just let me know. Keli you crazy dog you. lol lol we must get this up and running in time for your b'day. lol lol hell my birthday is 12-18 we need it up and running now. lol lol Deanna I live in purvis and work in h'burg so I go to the hattiesburg y but I will be glad to post an obnoxious post every day before I got to the Y to get you jump started. lol lol take care Denise

That or a cattle prod might get me there!!!