Whats going on?

Dont know what is happening on this site. I used to get alot of support from here and now I just feel like it isnt as supportive as it used to be. Lots going on and lots of ying yanging... I still come and read but I dont post like I should. Been hanging on the main board quite a bit. I know several people on here are having a tough time dealing after surgery and I didnt have any problems (and I ain't just saying that)... Yes, I was miserable for the first few days and no its not a peice of cake.. I still fight with head hunger and have from day one. It comes with being a food addict. I kinda feel like if I say I had a good experience from this surgery - people will accuse me of lying. I DONT REGRET it one bit. So much negativity lately and I cannot allow myself to get consumed up in all that. I am grateful for my surgery every day and I feel for the ones who have had a tough time. I am looking forward to the bash this weekend because we all need to visit. We dont see each other enough. We need to put our focus back into being supportive of one another and try to keep the bashing and accusations under control. Too many peoples feelings are getting hurt right now and there are NO excuses for that. We fight and quarrel but I think its gotten out of hand and before we all leave this board forever we need to step back and look at what we really are supposed to be doing for each other. We are here to listen and vent but accusing people and being down right rude is awful and its tearing this board up. Christine

I agree with you 100%. I too feel like I had it easy compared to others but that is all a risk taken when you choose to have the surgery I am just greatful mine was a good experience. I'm sure I would have a different opinion if I had had a hard time. I have noticed a difference on the board and I always stay away from the quarels. But this is a supportive group and we all need to remember that. When you are having a hard time or getting into bad habits is when you need the support the most (in my opinion anyway). I am usually afraid to post my bad habits cause I'm scared of people getting mad so I keep it to myself and try my best to deal with it. I wondered why you hadn't been as active your a main board person now. ha ha I guess I'm gonna have to check out that main board myself. Looking forward to the weekend. Becky

Becky, Don't ever be afraid to post what you are doing. I will never judge you for bad habits, as I have some of my own. Don't try and deal with it on your own.. I promise I will do my best to help and support you in any way that I know how. You know that you can always privately email me too if you dont feel comfortable putting it on the board. I agree with you that when you are having a hard time is when you need the support the most and it has not been that way on here in some time. You know I cant wait to see you and I am hoping we all have a wonderful weekend together!

I agree with you 100%. I used to come on here and post every day, but I just have not had the ambition to do so lately because of issues on here lately. I just come on and read and try to keep up with what is going on with everyone but I know I don't post and encourage others like I should anymore. My heart just has not been in it. I am so looking forward to the bash in hopes I can reconnect with all of my buddies and get back to the heart of what this is supposed to be. And that is encouraging others in their journey and sharing my own with those who want to know. It seems to have gotten away from that lately. I look forward to the updates from people and their WOW moments. I also like to know when someone is having a hard time and hurting so that we can help if we can. I have been hanging out on the WLS Grad board lately. Great place. It is for those who are farther out. Good information and encouragement there. It is a new forum. I love it. I knew going into my surgery that there were a whole lot of risk involved. And all of that knowledge came from tons of research and time I spent on the surgery to make sure I was up to the risk. I knew that I may not make it out alive from the operating room. I knew there were things that could go wrong afterwards even receiving the best care around. But it was a risk I was willing to take. And I was very fortunate and had no problems and still do not. I did not even take pain medicince once I got home. But that was me, and I do not tell others they will be the same because all are different. But just because someone says they had an easy time with no problems does not mean they are a liar. It just means they were very lucky. I would never sugar coat this surgery to anyone or make it sound easy. I just share the truth about my own personal experience and share the other possiblities with people. I always make sure to include the negative with the positive. There are some great people who come here to encourage and share, and I feel they have been run off. I hope they come back. I miss them. Melissa

omg I so agree. I was so grateful to have found this board after my surgery. I am such a huge chatter and poster but yet have not posted much anymore either. I have gotten so much support here not only from my surgery side but with all my fertility stuff. I still have horrible habits. I feel so bad about myself sometimes cause I feel as if I have not learned anthing from this surgery. I have not been eating right I use this surgery in my favor as far as eating what ever I want just because I know I cant eat as much. I have got to get myself under control especially since the holidays are coming up. I dont dump on sugar and that is truly a ****** I wish I would have been good as I was in the beginning and just stayed away from it. I too had a good experience with my surgery. NO probs what so ever. Yes I was in pain as i had the OPEN surgery not lap. And trust you me being ripped open from my boobs to my woo hoo was not pleasant what so ever, but guess what ...... the pain does go away and when you step on those scales that makes ALL the pain worth it. I guess it is kinda like the pains of labor you forget about after you lay your eyes on the precious gift God has given you. Or at least that is what I compare it to. I love each and every one of you girls (and guys) here! I can not tell you how many times I have read someones honest post about what is going on in their lives as far as eating and such and thought omg I thought I was the only one that did that. It truly helps to know you are NOT the only one going through stuff. I hope we can all get past this and remember how much fun we used to have around here and get back to that point. Love ya Denise

Denise, I had open too girl and it wasnt a walk in the park. It was miserable but we did great and I think we owe alot of that to our doctor and his staff. I think alot of times these surgeries become routine and maybe the candidates are not being screened as well as they could be or maybe even not having the right amount of time with patients. I dont know - there are a thousand different scenarios and its different with all doctors. I think we are all human, Denise and we all make mistakes when it comes to eating. But I bet you are alot more conscious now than you were a year ago and I bet you dont eat near like you used to. I make mistakes but I know that since I have taken foods off a forbidden list that I dont binge as much or bad as I used to. I do have a few bad things here and there but even skinny people do. You are doing okay.. you are exercising like crazy and you look wonderful! I love broccoli now and its becoming an addiction for me. I never used to really like broccoli so thats a good thing. Its going to be really hard now during the holidays. Last holiday season I was freshly post op and didnt eat much of anything. These next two months will be hard but we will all be okay. We just need to band together and keep looking at ourselves in the mirror an dkeep those scales close.

You know I love you and I will support you on anything. My head is a little frazzled lately, you know this.. but I need you for alot of support and I always know I can get it from you. I will have to check out the WLS grad board. Sounds interesting. I know you would NEVER sugar coat this surgery (or anything else) and that is what makes you great. I used to live on this site all day at work and the thrill is gone and I dont like that.

Well, I have found the thrill again on that WLS grad board. It is for people one year out or farther. They are going through the very same things we are as farther out post ops. And they are great support and have some good ideas to share. Plus alot of inspiration. Go there and read some time. That is where I go now for the most part. I still like to go to the Mississippi board because that is what I consider home, but the grad board is good when you need that support when you are farther out and facing some food issues. I get it. I know I do not sugar coat anything and I tend to be very blunt and probably say too much sometimes. But, really it is only because I care about you and your happiness so much. But I promise to do better in that area and learn when to push and when to mind my own business. Just get pushy back at me and tell me about it when I go crazy interfering and trying to play mama. Tell me you already got a mama and don't need another LOL. That will shut me up, maybe? Nah, you need me. See, you are stuck with me, girl. Aren't you the lucky one? He he he. Love ya to the moon, Melissa

Thanks for sharing that about the grad board. I will check it out also. I will be a year out in 3 weeks and would really like read what some others are going through and how they deal with it. Wayne and I are both looking foward to the weekend. Becky

AMEN Christine! I love this site and all the friends I have met on here, but lately there has just been alot of tension. I have gotten to where I do not post much either, and I just hate that. We pre-ops really need the support and friendship of the post-ops, as do the post-ops need support from everyone! I am a very self-consious person and will not go anywhere by myself or do anything by myself, and I felt that I was finally coming out of my shell and meeting new friends. I honestly can not wait until the time comes when I can actually meet all of you... you guys have helped me so much this far into my journey and I appreciate all the wisdom I have gotten, both good and bad. This site is a support site and the board should not be used to belittle or hurt people. Everyone handles things differently, and when you have major surgery, you have no way of knowing ahead of time how your body will react. We just have to be there for those that are having a hard time and help them however they need us to, so that they can get back on track again! Your friend, Marci