Checking In

Hey Everyone, Just wanted to check in and let y'all hear from me. I'm still sick to my stomach half the time, the other half I'm in the bathroom begging God for help or mercey to end it (me). I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong with this crap !!! I don't "eat", because everything has too much sugar in it, or it isn't on my "approved" list yet. Oh, my approved list is all liquids. STILL !!! But I can have applesauce. Yeah right.... another trip to the potty with that. I'm mainly living on my 100% Whey Protein shakes, water & every now & then a popsicle. I don't want any of that. The protein shakes are starting to make me run to the bathroom also. After them, I guess I'm screwed, cause I can't live on water & frozen treats forerver. When I went to get my staples out on Oct. 4, Dr. S said to come back in 2 weeks, some how that translated into the last of Oct. !!! Needless to say I'm not a happy camper about that either. My thoughts about having this surgery have not changed one bit. It still isn't worth it. And honestly it doesn't look like it ever will be. I have come to the conclusion (a little late) that I would rather have died in two weeks while being fat, happy & not sick all the time rather than go thru this for 3 weeks trying to improve my life. I know that sounds harsh, but it is the truth. I'd rather have quality over quantity. I didn't have any of the C-M like others. Now I feel like you should have at least 3 of them to even have this surgery. Unless it is your heart. Other wise, your sh*t out of luck without 3 CM. And what is so bad is that I can't believe that I'm saying these things. Strange how having your guts rolling & in knots all the time will change your ways of thinking. Now about the phone calls, emails & letters. I've gotten them & I want to Thank everyone for them. They do mean a lot to me. I don't get on the computer everyday. Actually this is the first time I've been on in a while. I don't like talking on the phone because I stay so sick to my stomach & it makes it worse to talk. My loveable answering service will be glad to take the calls tho, as long as it isn't interupting him in taking care of me. Yes, I still need an escort to walk thanks to the light headedness. I hope to try to get back on soon. Everyone take care. I'm still up in the air about the bash. So who knows about that. Riding still isn't a great idea, it makes my stomach turn something awsome !!! Tammy

Hey Tammy!...i'm so sorry you are having all this trouble...you waited so long for this.....it's gotta get better but i know that's not helping right now....i'll keep you in my prayers girl....you gave me a lot to think about when you said all that about UMC hospital....i'd heard some other horror stories and yours just sealed things for me...i am calling Vicksburg Monday and see if i can get in to see the lady doctor there...i don't see why i couldn't....they say she's not as hard to get in to as Dr. Salemeh....my daddy is scared to death that if i have it at UMC i'll wind up with a staff infection or something from the "uncleanliness" there....so, i'm gonna TRY another route....i remember you talking about being scared to death and that's where i'm at now....you hear some folks that just breeze through it and never have a problem...and then you hear others that have major problems so you just never know....i'm thinking of you daily and PRAYING that you will get better soon... LORI

Lori, Thank you for the prayers. They are greatly welcomed & needed. Do Not Go To The UMC !!! When you are in the UMC you are nothing but a lab rat. They try to see just how long you can go without anything for pain & just how dirty the rooms can get before you get sick from that. If it were up to me, the UMC would never do another wls. And as far as I'm concerned, I'll never be admited into the UMC again. For anything. If I can't get it done somewhere else, it won't get done !!! & it isn't Dr. S, it's the hospital. Everyone keeps saying that it will get better & all I can keep asking is when. Because this is crazy !!! It started out that I'd only be "sick" for about a week, now its up to 3 months. What's next a year, always ? Do yourself a favor. Right down every bad thing about this surgery that you hear (if you'll even hear it) & assume that everything on that list is going to happen to you. Second... Make a list of everything that you will never be able to have again or do like your use to doing. Even tho there are a lot of cheaters out there who are having things they are not suppose to, your still not suppose to have them. So assume that you will never have them again. Then decide if all the health problems you'll have afterwards are worth it. It sounds really easy to say yes before surgery, but afterwards is a different story. From where I'm standing right now, it isn't worth it. And honestly never will be. I hate to see you or anyone else do this to theirself willingly. The funny thing is, I'm not missing food !!! The thought of eating or drinking anything makes me sick as hell. Just make sure that this surgery is what you truly want & that your informed about it 200%. Don't let Cheerleaders talk you into having it by them saying "Oh, you'll love it, You'll be so happy, Your gonna be a skinny minnie", etc. Just tell them you want the truth & the facts only. Tammy

Tammy, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so sick. It takes time to get over this surgery, and the first three months are the toughest so everyone says. Try some mashed potato, crackers were my salvation too cause they settled my stomach. Chicken pot pie seemed to go down good too, not the crust, just the filling. Sweet is tough, but things with splenda seem to make it easier. Sugar free puddings are good too. I was also able to have a smoothie at smoothie king (sugar free) with extra protein powder. It was sooo tasty too! I also found Campbells chicken gumbo soup diluted with extra water was tasty for me too. Could not do the tuna, chicken mayo route, too oily..... You can add 4 oz of milk if you can tolerate it to the shake, it does help. Also you can add flavorings to vary the taste some too. Just try a little taste, you will know with the first spoonful whether or not you can tolerate it! The guts moving around and the rushing to the toilet will eventually subside, I even didnt make it a few times!!!! I think everyone who has this surgery grieves a bit over losing food and perhaps the security of fatness too, I did. It takes a long time to change the images in your head, just go to bed when you feel tired or sick, it helps! Hang in there! Hugs, Cheryl

Hey Cheryl, Thanks for your tips. Some I've tried with no luck. Some of them I still can't have yet. So far I'm not missing food. I'm missing.......... waking up w/o running to the bathroom to poo. my family eating around me because the smell of any food makes me sick. walking by myself without being so light headed. my stomach that does not churn all the time. But those are just a few things. My list could go on forever & a day. Sweetie, if I went to bed when I felt bad, I'd stay in the bed !!! I get the runny poo's from water !!! Any thoughts on that ? I'd love for that to stop !!! Tammy

Tammy hun call Susan at dr. S's office the apt they give you from the hospital when your discharged is WRONG!!!!!! you do have an apt in two weeks with Dr. S at the pavillian NOT the medical mall i had the same problem i knew something looked wrong when they gave me an apt for almost an entire month away so please please call susan and get your apt day and time because those people in the hospital dont know there you know whats from a hole in the ground!!! Just wanted to let ya know. Im sorry your having such a hard time but remember this to shall pass with a little time. Just when you think you cant take it (liquids) anymore you will be able to step up to other stuff. Just hang in there it gets better! Your such a trooper!!! Im soooo proud of you!! Love Ya!!! Angie Bea

Ummmm. That apt. came from Susan !!! Doll, I hate to break it to you.... But its not gonna get any better for me. I get the "runs" (well more of them) from water. Water now, who would have thought. Prayers are not working. Cause I've said a bundle myself. Either God is on vacation or he has on headphones !!! As many prayers thats been said & nothing is working... Something is up !!! I just tired of this. I'm at the end of my rope. And NO... I'm not going to tie a knot in it & hang on cause it ain't worth it. Tammy

Tammy, You are right to warn others about the risks. I'm still a little jealous, even of You and Your progress. At 2 weeks out from surgery I was still in the ICU. At 5 weeks out, I hadn't yet made it home from the hospital. I was on a feeding tube for just over 5 MONTHS With an Open Wound about 18" by 14" That had to be re-packed with saline and gauze 4 times a day! Ouch! Everytime! You're Walking with some help? How Wonderful! I wasn't able to walk for the first 3 months. And Even with all of that? Now that I'm eating pretty much what ever I want Just getting full on a little, Full all the time, And holding at 179lbs for 6 months? I'd do it again, even if all of those complications Were just "Par for the Course." Sorry you're having such a rough go of it. The new guy in my support group last week- Carey File Was up and walking several laps around the ICU 4 hours after surgery. Off of all pain meds by the start of day 2, Out of the hospital in the middle of day 3, And was at the support meeting 6 days after his surgery Looking like he had never even been in the hospital. Walking down the hall like nothing had ever taken place. So? It takes all kinds. Everyone has a different experience with his or her surgery, But More importantly, Everyone Responds to Adversity Differently. "...but it is the truth. I'd rather have quality over quantity." Being one who started out just a little "rough" myself, I'm eternally grateful that I opted for WLS, because I, (like most everyone who has this surgery) Got both- Quality AND Quantity. Just not in the first month. I did it for Life! Even at the risk of being written off as a "Cheerleader," That, is the Truth. Do take Angie Bea's advice and call in for the correct appointment. Clearly that outfit down at UMC is one problem after another, But don't let yourself be a Victim. Hope you are feeling better soon, Most everyone does........... Best Wishes- Dx

Hey Dx, I know that you had it worse than I did. But how you can be so chipper about it is beyond me !!! How long was it after your surgery till you even thought about the fact that this surgery was worth it ? As far as Carey File, you may want to check him out for a Superman Cape or surgery scars. That is unreal !!! I can't even see straight from the light headedness. So I know I'm not fixing to do much walking. Not even the 20 mins. a day the doc wants me to get. The appointment that Susan gave me, is the right one. We double checked it. It's just some people at the UMC don't know the difference in a few weeks vs several weeks. Plus it is too late... I'm already a UMC victim. I'll be glad when my quailty & quantity kick in. So far the only quantity I've had is being sick & that makes for a nasty quality. To me your not sounding like a Cheerleader. It's all the cheering before having surgery when everyone is telling you to "have the surgery, you'll love it, you should do it" etc. That is what I'm having a problem with concerning the Cheerleaders. They should state how they did with the WHOLE TRUTH & let it go. If everyone would have told the WHOLE TRUTH about how they actually did, and how the hospital was before I had surgery, do you think that I would have went to the UMC to have this done ? NO WAY !!! That is what ticks me. It is kinda like they feel as tho they went thru it, so lets let somebody else go thru the same hell. I guess a lot of their memories were erased after a few weeks or they didn't want to own up to everything they went thru. You take what Nan & Fredricka came back & said after I spilled the beans about UMC. They should have had the guts to speak up when it first happened. Not after someone else complains. Those 2 women could have prevented alot of my problems, cause I would have walked away from UMC. I would have gladly waited till something better came up. And to top it all off, Arlies tells me after my surgery & I'm having all of these problems that she just knew that if she had of had surgery at the UMC she would have died. I feel like she should have said that to begin with, not after the fact. I still love her, but I do question our friendship. Friends look out for each other or so I thought. When she told me that.... she let me down in the biggest way. I hope that I get to feeling better soon, cause I don't like being in the group that has never really gotten well from having this surgery. Tammy

My dearest Tams, I love you so very much and am so sad that this is so hard for you. I have already apologized and explained my poor comment about UMC to you and I am so sorry I made it and that you are holding on to it. As you know, tho, I have NEVER been hospitalized at UMC so I had no idea that the quality of care was as poor as what you got. At Keesler, I had my own nurse AND aide for two days - in ICU and was hovered over on the ward. It did help tremendously that my Doc was the commander of the surgery flight, I'm sure. He even brought the commander of the hospital to meet me. And yes, I feel quite lucky or blessed to have had such good care. And, doll, I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time recovering. Believe me (or not), if I could take all your pain and misery on myself, I would do it in a heart beat. I won't continue to tell you it will get better because I know that you are tired of hearing that and resentful because you truly believe it won't. However, would you rather give up a life-time of being with Alex and Johnny, seeing Alex graduate, marry and have babies or have a couple of months of misery after surgery? You KNOW I came out of the operating room hating everybody and everything and wondering how I could have done this and they could have let me do it. Whether you want them or not, you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I want only the best for you and God does not (unfortunately) work on our time table. I am here for you and will always be. You are my favoritest Tams, Tammy, Sybil, etc in the whole wide world. I think you are gonna have to FORCE yourself into feeling better - getting up (with help) and stirring around. You are being swallowed whole by depression. To give up now is a waste. I don't know what it will take for you to do this because I've never been in your shoes with something this bad, but I am willing to help you with whatever it takes. Psycho Doc may have some ideas on this, I dunno. If sheer will could force you to get better, I'd do it! And I know how much will and determination you have and I want you to seriously consider pulling yourself up and trudging on until it does get better for you. You have no idea how much this hurts my heart and from others I've spoken with on this board, I know I am not the only one that hurts for you over all this. Tams, we love you!!! Send Sybil away and come back to us! I love you very, very, very much, Arlies