DID ANYONE ??????

HI YALL ITS 12:08 AND I AM SITTING HERE THINKING . I HAVE TO GET THIS OUT AND I CANT TELL DH OR MY FAMILY IT WILL FREAK THEM OUT . I WAS WATCHING MY KIDS TONIGHT AND IT HIT ME WHAT IF . IT SCARED ME SOOO MUCH . DID ANYONE HAVE THAT THOUGHT ? I KNOW THIS IS NOT WANT PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR BUT ITS REALLY DID SHAKE ME UP TONIGHT . SARA

Hello Sara, I don't have small kids, but I do have grown kids, grandkids and a loving & caring DH. I had all kind of thoughts. But I had to weigh out the negative & positive. The Drs (3 of them) all told me that I only had a matter of months if I didn't do something drastically fast to lose 100 lbs fast. I had to decide if I wanted to live a few months or take the chance on living years. I chose to live years. I first had excitement, then it went to fear right before surgery. I will tell you this, if you are not 100% sure that you want this surgery, and that you can change your lifestyle, then don't do it just yet. This is a commitment that you have to live with. Ask God what he wants for you and to give you peace and you will be able to hear his voice as of what he wants for you in your life. I wish you all the best on your decision. As for me, I have to say... at first I regreted the surgery cause I was so sick the first 3 months, but knowing what I know now and having all this energy, I would do it all over again, even knowing that I had to face the complicatons the first 3 months. I will also say a prayer for you! Jo

Dear Sara what you're going through, I'm guessing we all went through to some extent. I don't know your medical history, but as Jo already mentioned, some of us are already at a point where our health is declining and without surgery would not have a whole lot of chance of living another decade, leave alone past that. I started out my journey and was still healthy, or so I thought. I guess maybe I was trying to fool myself into thinking my medical problems weren't THAT bad in the beginning. My BP was high and they could never get it down where they wanted it, and I was a borderline diabetic for years. Upon approval and while waiting to have surgery, things went downhill in a handbasket. Even though I quit all sugar, my diabetes flared into a full-fledged problem, needing glasses to even see well enough to drive and every other single side effect that you get. Went to the hospital for surgery with a sugar of 316. WOW! I am convinced, without surgery I may have maybe had another 10 miserable years ahead of me, struggling with health problems and putting a strain on those who had to take care of me. THAT scared me more than anything. I put my trust in my surgeon's hands and figured, if GOD wanted me to spend the rest of my life happily with my family, he'll bring me through it. If not, then at least I would have given it a try. Sure, I had ALL those thoughts about WHAT IF?? but there was just no way I wanted to go on the way I was. I wanted to be normal again and be able to be here for my kids for a long, long time. "If" I would have died trying, I would have blamed no-one but myself for years of neglecting my health. We really should live each day like it's our last day. Tell your family you love them, and have faith. You'll be fine ~Andie~

My children were 2 and 12 at the time of my surgery, and yes I had all of those what if thoughts. I just had to weigh all the thoughts against each other and make the best decision I could make with all the information I had from my research. And I went forward with surgery after much prayer. And I felt peace because I really felt that the surgery was what I needed to do to have more time with my family. The extra weight was killing me. Good luck and come on here anytime and we will listen and be there for you through this whole process. Melissa

Sara, I have been going through the same thing today. Eventhough I know this is what I want and need, I can't help wonder what if something bad was to happen. I found keeping busy the past few days has kept my mind off of it for short periods of time. Just think in about a week or so you and I will be chating away about finally making it to the losing side. I can't wait until you and I are helping others with these same fears. Good luck. I will have you in my prayers from now until I here you are safely recovering. Sonya

Sara; I am still in the what am i really doing stage. But look at it like this. If the surgery will help you lose weight you can have a better life with your kids. If you don't make it through surgery, there is nothing you can do about that. It is all in gods hands at that point. Stephanie

hey! Welcome to the family!!! This is the first post I have seen from you and I am glad you came and talked to us! Please come back and post long and often! We are all nutz! But we are the good kind - like pecans and cashews! Smoochies Arlies

normal...normal...normal.... You really would not be sane if you didn't worry about the what-ifs.....Like Jo, my choice was either take the chance or not live to see Em (going into 8th grade) graduate. I like the 4% (mortality rate was higher for me than regular fluffies because I was SO heavy) much better than the 75% chance of not seeing Em graduate....Find someone on the boards who started out heavier than you and had more medical problems than you. Read their profile OFTEN and keep telling yourself, if they can make it thru, so can I. I did this and it helped me greatly. I also planned my funeral, wrote letters to hubby, children, docs, and the MS board, and got my ducks in a row. As my Mother always said if you are prepared for the worst, it won't happen. In my letter to my Doc, I told him I came to him for a new life and (if he was reading the letter that meant I died during or shortly after surgery) I got a new life. Just not the one we wanted, but an even better one . I just got to heaven sooner than anticipated, but that it was fine and I would be happy there and he wasn't to worry - My doc hasn't lost a patient and he was a bit concerned because of my size, but like me felt we had no choice....Needless to say, the worst thing that happened to me was having to drink potassium and having the swallow test!!! So hang in there girl, nerves are normal! Smoochies Arlies

THANK YOU . TO EVERYONE . I FEEL BETTER SARA

Sara, Yes I had that feeling I don't have kids but I do have a Neice I think the world of like she's my own and my wonderful dog princess "purdything" a black lab what would they do if anything happened to me. and the honest truth when they came in the room that night I say 3 hrs after my surgery and told me time to get up and walk and trying to get up out of that bed was heck. i thought too my self please can i go back in time and not do this it hurt so bad but after all the pain i thought this is not as bad as my spinal headache i had a month earlier trust me spinal headaches are alot worse and more painful than being cut open 9 inchs at least you can set up with this surgery with a spinal headache you can not set up or your head would blow you felt like no sounds, no light,no food,no pain meds could touch it.. so look it like this, i still can not hold food down very well or really as much..my vitamin's make me sick i can not drink my protien shake because it will not stay down but when i look at that scale it's worth it i would do it again in a heart beat if it's my time i said before they took me back to surgery then it will be fine at least i would be a sleep and not feel nothing and i had my faith in my doctor and the help from all these people on line and still do and love them all. good luck, spend all the time with them you can and don't show you are worring around them or family keep to yourself or talk with us. don't won't your family to worry about this lisa