THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

This was sent to me & it is kinda cute so I thought that I'd share it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE ~~~~~ My husband & I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God & I didn't. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ God must love stupid people; He made so many. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The gene pool could use a little chlorine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ever stop to think & forget to start again? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Procrastinate Now! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ham & eggs..... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The trouble with life is there's no background music. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The original point & click interface was a Smith & Wesson. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He who dies with the most toys, is still dead. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Thanks! Had to copy them and take them to work with me. Have a great day!! judy

Your so very Welcome. Try not to work too hard !!! Remember, if your pay is only $7. an hour, only give $7. worth of work an hour !!! Tammy

I love these... I have several favorites... hehe... This ones your favorite isnt it: You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

How Dare You !!! I refuse to tell which one is my favorite. That little voice inside my head says your just trying to make fun of me Tammy

i think "I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it." is really your favorite!!!! But i have two favorites....The smith and wesson and some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them.....wahahahahaha! The other night we were watching Greed. The question was which of the following means the very deepest bottom of the ocean (a) Davy Jones' locker, (b) mickey Dolenz's basement, (c) peter Tork's attic (d) Mike Nesmith's garage..... The guy chose (b).......because he said a basement is further down than the rest of the stuff!!!!!!!!!! Smoochies Arlies PS Tell Sybil the answer is (a)

Honey Hush !!! I have a few fave's on it that are so much like me that it really isn't funny !!! BTW: Who is this Davy Jones ??? Tammy