My article for Friday
Hey yall.. Since alot of yall dont get the Hattiesburg American. Here is a copy of my article that will be in Fridays paper. Its going to be 42 inches. That is a pretty large article. It will have my before and after. Its alot but I enjoyed writing it. They proofed it today and brought me the layout. I love it! (I just like being in the paper)...hehe... Really, the people at my work have been really supportive.
Here it is:
A NEW WOMAN
(Still trying to figure out this part)
It's been 8 months since my roux-en-y gastric bypass surgery. In the past 8 months I have lost 111 pounds and have found a new person within myself.
I started researching gastric bypass in March 2004 at my heaviest weight of 275 pounds. By the time surgery arrived in October 2004 I had lost 9 pounds leaving me at 266 pounds. Today I weigh 155 pounds. I am 1 pound away from my goal weight of 154 pounds. That one-pound is driving me crazy and has become the evilest little thing testing every nerve I have in my body.
I never dreamed the outcome of this surgery would be this exciting. I never thought I would say that I weighed 155 pounds. The lowest weight I ever remember being is 180 pounds in the 11th grade. After that I kind of just quit weighing. I didn't want to be reminded of my weight becasue it always brought me down. Anytime I went to the doctor I would hear a lecture about my weight and what it will eventually do to my body. I knew all of this but I couldn't understand what he thought his words would do for me. In my opinion I was too far-gone and I needed drastic help and not just a silly fad diet or $180.00 diet pills that would only work as long as I took them. . I would always smile politely and tell him I would try something new. I was blessed that I did not have co-morbidities preoperative such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and sleep apnea but we all knew it was in my very close future and would have made a huge impact on my life for the worst. Its nice to go to the doctors now for whatever reason and not be embarrassed at the sliding of those scales-from 200 to 250 to 275. The same doctors are amazed and very proud of what I have turned in to and how healthy I am now. One even told me I was a walking advertisement for my surgeon. That made me feel good and I hope that I am some sort of inspiration to someone out there battling with their weight.
Of course Weight loss surgery is not for everyone. It is not without its complications and I am still very cautious when I talk about it. Being confident in your surgeon and in yourself is highly recommended by me along with being extremely active in a support group. I know several people who have had complications and I know one who has died. Luckily, these were not at the hands of my surgeon which is why I firmly believe you should be confident and have researched your surgeon and this surgery extensively before deciding. Do not be ashamed to ask them their stats and talk to their patients. If you've got a good surgeon his patients will surely be testament to that. Sometimes its not the number of these surgeries your surgeon has done but how his patients have recovered. Its your life literally in their hands. I dont trust that to just anyone.
People ask me all the time how I feel losing over one hundred pounds. All I can say is that it feels amazing. The energy level is wonderful. I can actually do things without being short winded and I feel like I am actually living life again and not just surviving in it. I must admit getting compliments was kind of hard to get used to. People would say things like "Oh, you are just going to blow away" or I would be called "Skinny Minny". Sometimes I didn't know if they were just being nice or if they were sincere. I learned to accept it and say "Thank you -I feel good." It's definatly been one of the harder parts. I was even wolf whistled at once.Okay Okay, it was from my best friend but it was still a treat! Who would have thought receiving a compliment would be so hard? Being heavy for the majority of my life has left me with a fluffy self-image that is hard to get rid of. When I look in the mirror I still see that 275-pound girl in the mirror. It's a struggle for me to see past that sometimes and to actually see the new me in the mirror. The new me that doesn't have 5 chins. The new me that isn't afraid of photos and has actually become a camera hog. The new me who can ride 14 miles on a bicycle. The new me whose daughter called skinny as I was changing clothes. The new me who hasnt been asked by small children lately when my baby was due. The new me whose BMI falls within normal range and not the morbidly obese range.The new me that is 111 pounds lighter!
Seeing things a little clearly now, I have found myself a little hypocritical of others. I have found that I judge what other people are eating. I will watch people eat and think to myself "How can they eat all of that?" Knowing good and well that 8 months ago I was eating more than that. Sometimes it makes me sick to watch others eat and I am ready to leave the instant I am done eating. Constantly rushing my companions to hurry up so that we can go. I think a lot of that is because I know the more I sit there the more I will pick at my food. I usually ruin my food when I feel that full sensation so that I will not continue to nibble. I ruin it by pouring tobasco, catsup or a ton of salt on it. Who could stand to eat that? Some may think that sounds crazy but I have a food addiction and that is how I deal with it. Alcoholics pour their addiction out - I pour condiments on mine. Often time's people ask me what I can and cannot eat. I can pretty much eat anything as long as it is not too greasy and has low sugar. I am still not able to have sugars because they do still make me sick if I get too much. The only food I have had a really hard time eating is rice. I barrel over in pain when I eat rice. It took me a few times to realize it was rice but once I narrowed it down there has been no more rice. Rice tends to swell in my stomach and when it swells there just isn't enough room for the expansion leaving me in horrible pain. Pain to the point where I am praying to regurgitate and even trying to make myself do so.
I am still very actively involved in my local and online support groups. I have not missed a single meeting in over a year. We recently had a WLS Bash at Kamper Park and had a fantastic time. I have found that for this type of surgery you need a lot of support before and after, I do at least and cant imagine anyone going through this without having support from someone else who has had it. Family, friends and relatives are a great source of support but having someone who can put themselves in your shoes is priceless. My priceless friend, Melissa Taylor, who has lost 141 pounds brought a pair of her size 24 pants to the bash that she wore preoperative. She suggested that we try to fit ourselves into each leg of those pants. I didn't think there was any way we would be able to do it. WE DID IT. It was a tight fit and we couldn't get them buttoned but we got them up. It reminded me of of old times- I guess that's kind of how it was for me back then too!! Never wanting to buy a size bigger - just continue to squeeze my big ole butt into the tight ones. We laughed about it. It's a great feeling to be able to do that but knowing that 2 people just fit into a pair of your old jeans is not very comforting or funny at all. The before picture used in this article was not seen by me until recently. When it was handed to me I thought I needed to run and hide with it. Bury it to never been seen again by any other living soul. I had forgotten where I started and even thought back to the day when those photos were taken and how great I thought I looked in that outfit -vertical stripes and all. I have had it laminated and stuck in my purse for daily viewing to remind me that I was 275 pounds not so long ago and can quickly return to that if I am not careful with my choices when it comes to food.
My pant sizes before surgery were 24s and 22s. My shirts were XXL or larger. My shoe size was 10. Today I am wearing sizes 10s and 12s. My shirts are medium and my shoe size is 8.5. Can you believe that I lost a shoe size?? But even though my body continues to shrink I still have issues with how I look in the mirror. Sometimes I wonder if the sagging skin which used to be home to so much fat is as bad as the actual fat was. Its easy to cover it up with clothes and nobody sees it except for a few choice people but to me I sometimes am not sure what is uglier-Tight fat stomach or skinny sagging skin with a huge scar stomach. Dr. Whitehead said we could discuss plastic surgery at my 9 month checkup visit in July and hopefully this little problem will be rectified soon. I am proud of my scar which I refer to as my "War Wound" but I wont be sad if its gone. I will be sure to take plenty of pictures of it before I kick it to the curb. I am thankful to have my health but I also want to look normal when I look in the mirror and not always be reminded of what I fought so hard to get rid of. Normal body image is all I am looking for. Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing!
So far I am a WLS success story and am thankful everyday for this second chance at life. I am prone to kidney infections and dehydration which I have recently expierenced due to lack of liquids. Its really hard getting in the required water needed on a daily basis especially when you are never thirsty or hungry. When I say I am never hungry I mean phsically hungry. I still fight head hunger issues when my brain thinks it needs to eat and wants something that smells really good. This surgery makes it easier to fight the cravings and find the triggers for emotional eating but it doesnt cure the brain from wanting to taste the food. I guess like every addict out there it takes time and healing. We are essentially always in recovery and will always battle the demons.
The honeymoon is over and now the real work begins. I am one pound away from my goal after only 8 short months. The maintence part is difficult. Holding on to what I want to be and being scared to death to gain one pound. Normal living and normal eating is my goal. We've heard it over and over "Eat to live, dont live to eat" --this is what I am trying desperatly to do.
This is my 3rd article. I did one right before surgery and then one at 2 mos post op and now my big followup.
I was a little embarrassed that the whole world and everyone I work with will see my most inner deep dark secrets and all the embarrassing stuff but I work with great people and I feel like we are one big family. They can either love me or not.
They told me at first we would have to cut it. But they decided to cut another article and run my whole article. I thought that was cool. There wasnt anything I wanted to cut out. Too me it was all important.
You are right you couldn't leave any of it out if they want the whole story , you definatly need to tell it all because every bit is so important! This diffantly isn't something to beat around the bush about, or take lightly like its just another diet and if you don't like it you can quit , this is a forever change. You've done a great thing and i applaude you hope i will be able to be as open and honest one day! Keep writing them books girl i love to read!LOL DAWN
WOW.. That was a very good article. I can't wait until I get to the point you are at and can tell my story like that. I am so very proud of you for sharing that with the world.
I love you girl!
Rhonda 
WOW!!! You make me so proud! The article is wonderful..... It should give hope and courage to lots and lots of folks....I know it does me....The difference in you now and when I first met you is UNBELIEVEABLE!!! BTW, I recognized my "skinny minny" quote in there! And you are! I will let you wear my crown for a day cause surely you are a QUEEN of WLS! I love you, girl!
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