Can't sleep...

Well, wouldn't you know it! Here I sit at 1:07am, unable to close my eyes! LOL I'm just too pumped about getting my date tomorrow ...err... TODAY!! I can't imagine how I'll be the night before surgery! I've been having some internal struggles lately with the surgery. I'm SO tired of people telling me that I don't need the surgery. It makes me (almost) second guess my decision. I've researched this for 2 years. I really feel like I'm making the right choice. I'm tired of worrying about missing work - some things have happened this week that are out of my control, but make for bad timing on my part. I feel guilty about that, but at the same time, I want what's best for me too. I'm really trying, at the insistance of my friends and family, to put myself first for a change. We'll see how far my "inner voice" will let me get away with that. That's the problem with being a GRITS, we are taught from birth to take care of others - not a bad thing, but it can get in the way sometimes! I can let people guilt me into or out of just about anything! And most of the time, they are not even trying to do that! Ok - I admit it - I'm ! And I'm rambling! I have no idea why I'm spilling my guts , I just felt like tonite! I can't wait for 8:30 to get here. I know if I would just go to it would come alot sooner! I know everything will be A-OK and I'll be relieved tomorrow! So until tomorrow afternoon! HUGS n NITERS!! NOT! Kimberly

Hey Kimberly, I'm up also. Well, at least for now anyways. I know that your excited about getting a surgery date. Heck, who wouldn't be. You just have to try and tell yourself when your in the bed that you need to go to sleep that you'll deal with everything else tomorrow (in the morning). I know, you've tried it and it didn't work !!! So, get up & put a good long boring movie in !!! That should do it. Mmmm Hmmmm Sounds good huh? Let me know if it works & if it does, I'll try it !!! People are always going to find fault with your choices. Just try to ignore them & all the while just smile at them. So far, only one person has told me that I should not have this surgery. And I'm really going to take her word. Heck she only goes to a shrink at least 3 times a week. We have to do what we feel is right for us !!! Those "well meaning" people haven't walked in our shoes not one step. Therefore they have no idea of what it is like to carry around an extra 100+ pounds, get the dirty looks from a "better than thou" skinny person, not going to the movies cause you can't fit in the seats, etc. So, let them yap all they want. You know what you have to do. You have got my support & a lot of other peoples support also Now..... Go to bed or you'll sleep late & miss your appointment !!! Tammy

I hear you Kimberly It is 0310 EST and I am awake too. We are moving to MS on Saturday so every time I lay down I think of something I need to do. I am like you always putting myself last. But this last year my job really got to me stress wise and I got sick. I mean physically sick.I quit my job after 4 years. I thought the place would fall apart without me... well it didnt and things are just fine. I learned the hard way that if you dont take care of yourself you are not any good to anyone. I hope to have wls when we get to MS. My husband is military and has been gone off and on the last 2 years. I couldnt have surgery because we never knew when he would be home to help me. Good luck with your date and I hope you are asleep by now. It has rained the last 16 days here in Maine and the high is only in the 40's can you send some sun and heat this way? Just kidding...

Hi Amy, You will love Mississippi! It is such a friendly place. You will find a lot of support and friends there, not to mention you will be living in the Gulf Coast area, which is beautiful. It is said that people dont just pass through Mississippi, they come to stay. I cant wait to get back home, Ms is the best place in the world to be. Hope your move goes smooth as glass. You have great neighbors waiting for you! Cheryl

Hi Cheryl Lee we live in Maine and friendly is NOT a word I would use to describe people here. I am ready to be back south again we lived in Key West before here. We came to MS in march to look for a house. I was so amazed at how friendly people are. I am a "chatty kathy" and felt right at home there in Waveland. I am also looking forward to the warm weather. It has rained for 16 days straight here and we only are in the 40-50's for a high. I thought the cold weather was over here. When do you get home to MS? Take care Amy

Amy, You will love the doctors in the surgery clinic here at Keesler. They are all wonderful! Dr. Mann did my surgery and he has the best bed side manner of any doctor I have ever had. I had ups and downs with my surgery and he was right there with me holding my hand and making sure that I was okay. It is good to have a doctor that cares about his patients the way that he does. He also gets excited for you when you are excited about the results. I seen him today and he was all smiles about my progress. I am 12 weeks out and I have lost 60 pounds and a total overall of 37 inches. We have a support group meeting at the Keesler Hospital auditorium at 7 pm on Tuesday night the 31st. You should try to attend and just meet some of the people that are waiting to have the surgery and others like myself that have already had it. You can call the surgery clinic at 377-6516 to find out details or to speak with the wonderful bariatric nurse, Lisa Greiner. Email me if you have any questions. Rhonda G. Biloxi, MS Lap RNY 03-01-05 240/180/125 -60 lbs forever!!

Hey Kimberly, how you are feeling is perfectly normal. I think we all go through that nervousness second-guessing our decision. I researched for almost two years as well before finally having surgery. I researched and prayed. I really felt it was God's plan for me, but I still had those sleepless nights and nervous days. Oh, and the night before surgery I really was nervous. My husband, kids, and myself had gone to Walmart to get a few last minute things I was going to need. And I got so nervous buying all the stuff I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. You see I had never been put to sleep and never been in the hospital except to have my two children so I was really more nervous about the not knowing what to expect and all. So don't feel bad. We have all been there. Just come on here and vent and talk it out and we will respond and hopefully help you. Take a few deep breaths and trust your decision. You will be fine, and you have us to get you through, too. Good Luck, Melissa Taylor

BLESS YOUR HEART!!! I UNDERSTAND. Please vent here we love our WLS buddies. GRITS stick together!!!! glenda

Kimberly, I know exactly how you feel. I had made up my own mind before I told anyone even my husband. No one was really thrilled at first. But I knew it was what I wanted. All my life I have always put everyone else first. But this time I knew what was best for me. In the long run it is also best your family and friends they just don't realize now like you do. Can't what to see what your date is. Becky