Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellweger wedding

I just got through reading a story about Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, and it it soo romantic, I just had to post something about it. I would have never in a million years thought those two would get together! They met at a tsuami charity event, and she is his favorite actress, he even wrote a song, "You had me at Hello" that was inspired by her Jerry Maguire movie. Basically they just had a whirlwind romance and he popped the question and they flew to St. John and got hitched. She is a lucky gal, he is such a hottie, and he seems like a really sweet genuine person. That story was so romantic, it almost makes me wish something like that would happen to me....just get swept off my feet ( after WLS of course, wouldn't want the poor man to get a hernia!) LOL! Just to have someone make you feel special, and love you no matter what. I guess y'all can see I have marriage problems, my hubby is none of those things, he doesn't even support my decison to have WLS. I feel like I am alone in this. I know its good to have y'alll to talk to, but you really need your husband to be behind you. I just wished that he wanted what was best for ME and not what the best intrest is for him. It just gets old having to hear constantly what I'm doing wrong, or why I won't succeed at WLS, he just makes me so frustrated at times I don't mean to bring everybody down, its just, ya know when you just need to get some things off your chest? I don't really care what he thinks, I will succeed at WLS, and I am doing it for me and so I will live to see my daughter grow up. If he keeps this junk up, I may have to trade him in for a newer model! Just kidding!! but then again.... TTFN Crystal

Hey girl, That is a sweet story. That is the first time I've seen your pic up. You are so pretty. When I first started talking about surgery my hubby was so againist it. It was all about how his life and eating habits would change not about my health how I felt and wanting to be around to see my kids and grandkids. Oneday I sat down and just told him some of the things that I felt inside. How my weight hendered me and stuff like that. Once he saw I was gonna do it with or without him he changed his tune. Now he says if he had known then what he knows now he wouldn't take a million bucks for me having the surgery. He is amazed at what it has done. When we met at was at my heaviest and he fell in love with me then. My weight was never and issue for him but it was for me. Anyway we are both happy now that I done it. Good luck with your hubby. He will come around I just know it. Becky

Crystal, I'm sorry your husband is not on board with this. I hope that time will make him see that you are making the right choice for YOU! I had a long talk with my husband tonite. He is an absolute dream (in his heart) about supporting me on this journey.....BUT..... I had to make him promise not to get mad at me when I don't want to cook dinner. (not something I do alot anyway ) I explained to him the side effects during the first few months, and that there will be times when I just won't feel like doing anything, especially cooking something I can't eat!. I really want to make sure that he understands that this is SO much more than the other diets I went on... ie... liquid diets, etc... I can see the future - and the arguments and guilt - coming. Maybe not - who knows. I think ultimately he'll be proud as a squirrel dog showing off his new, fabulously skinny, wife! And hey - if he loses some of that gut - so be it! HUGS Kimberly

Dear Crystal you know this is the place you can come at any time to talk it ( or write it ) off your chest. We're here for you, and it's the support that is SO important with this process, that makes you successful in the long run. Sorry to hear that your hubby isn't as supportive as you wish. Some guys are scared @ what could happen to you, others are threatened by the thought that once you lose all that weight, you may change and leave? There are a million reason some partners oppose WLS and some of us are lucky to have a mate who supported them. My husband was against it in the beginning. He saw it as an "easy way out" and I should just try to diet the "normal way", especially after he heard some stories from others where " he/she gained it all back" and "so-and-so's brother in law's niece's great-great aunt had surgery and died" . I convinced him that this was the only option I had left, since he saw me lose 70lbs, put it back on and an extra 10 AND trying so hard to not eat bad things and trying to get exercise and it didnt work. I made him come to the doctor's office with me and after what he heard, after seeing the bariatric coordinator at my surgeon's office, and her telling him that SHE herself had the surgery, he was absolutely behind me and changed his mind from that point on. All that being said, hopefully your husband will see that you're doing this for YOUR health, not for anyone else, and if you keep close and communicate with him, he should come around. If he doesn't, well, hopefully you guys can somehow make time for councelling or find a way to work things out. Maybe he just needs to see you get through surgery and once you start losing the weight, he'll realize the tremendous benefits that HE will get from this too. You'll be doing things again with him that you hadn't been able to do in a long time. Just know that we're here for you and remember the key to a good relationship : communication!!! Good luck to you, have faith and take care, girl! ~Andie~

Who knew huh... I didnt even know they were dating. He is a hot little thing but I never thought he would go for Renee Zellweger... Didnt she date Jim Carey... errr... He gets on my nerves. I saw their picture on the beach - looked very much in love. I would trade places with her in a heartbeat. WLS is tough on a marriage. Its definatly talked about. My nurse talked to me about it and my therapist. Apparantly it has a huge toll on a marriage. You wouldnt think it does but it does. My husband is great and we have a great marriage but since surgery he is a little more possesive. I think it is my new found confidence. He is afraid I will trade him in on a newer model. Its tough but if you want it to work, it will. If you give up or they give up--it may be better to just move on. Support is huge in a marriage and if you dont get it.. what else can you do? Its like I told him... even fat I couldve found someone else. I married him when I was fat, loosing weight doesnt change anything - I love him, he loves me.. Nothing to worry about. Unless a really rich, sexy, italian comes my way then bye bye honey.. It will either make your marriage stronger or make it worse. Its the truth. I am not trying to sugar coat it. Lots of marriages dont last after WLS... I am definatly not one for divorce but if all else fails we only have 1 chance at life who wants to live it miserably?? Have you and your husband considered counseling? How long have you been married? Me and my husband have been married for 10 years... WOW! 10 years! Where has the time gone? Take him with you to the support meetings. Get him really involved in the entire process. Maybe this will help. I have only seen a few husbands at support meetings and in all honesty the one that stands out the most is Jo Walkers husband. He even comes here and posts.. I think thats cool how he is so involved in her surgery. My husband doesnt even know how to get online much less post.. haha I didnt mean to write a book. I just hope it all works out for you. We are here for you anytime. Christine Open Rny - Oct 2004 30 Years old, 5'7 275/266/162/154 104 GONE! 8 Til Goal Beginning BMI 44 Current BMI 25.4

Hey Crystal, WLS is a big deal, and husbands tend to get very insecure...are you looking to replace them...is someone else going to sweep you off your feet, etc. (no I am not a phychologist, just been married to the same man for 35 years!). My husband was very jealous and possessive when I was young and svelte (I think that means skinny). I sometimes think that I gained 145 pounds just to keep him from being jealous and possessive. WLS has been great for me. I have only lost 48 pounds (RNY 3/14/05), but even if I don't lose another pound, I feel so much better and you will too. Just remember that this is for you, not him. Let him deal with his problems. If you are doing this for anyone other than yourself, you need to rethink. It is a life change. I had breast cancer 3 years ago and I decided after I beat it that I was not going to die early from my FAT...so I went forward and had the surgery. Best decision (short of salvation) that I have ever made. I don't mind the lifestyle change at all. Food is a necessity for life, that is what God created it for. He also created our bodies to use food for fuel, not comfort. Sorry, I don't mean to lecture, but I get very passionate about this. Keep your focus on yourself and your needs...be selfish...for your sake. Your husband will either get on board or he won't. The only person you can change is YOU. Good luck... June Wilson RNY 3/14/05 -48

Well, Kenny Chesney has broken my heart....so I guess Renee Zellweger can have him. YUM, he is a cutie!!! I am sorry your hubby isn't supportive, but hopefully after surgery he will begin to see the difference it makes and change his tune. One of the things that was stressed at the pre-op appointments was the divorce rate is high for WLS'ers. Any kind of radical change can shake up a marriage, and hubbies tend to see the weight loss as a threat to them....Fortunately, mine doesn't, but he also says he is not the least bit worried about how I will act when I am thin or if I will leave him for some cutie. That is a little irritating that he isn't threatened, but he is right. I don't wanna start over and I still kinda like him a lot. Plus he knows my heart and soul and knows that while I may pile up the guys on my next husband list, I wouldn't give him up! Please feel free to come here and vent as much as you like. I know that even if Jim says he isn't worried, it does cross his mind. How could it not? When your wife is all of a sudden feeling and looking better than she has EVER, how could you not be at least a little worried???? BUT even if Jim had been totally against the WLS, I would have continued down this path because, like you, I have a daughter I want to see grow up. If Jim could not take the changes in me, it would be his problem. I know I am not gonna do anything to wreck our marriage, but I also know that (much as I love him) I could survive without him if I had to. I certainly don't want to, but I know I could. AND if he gave me grief for this decision, I would certainly be better off without him. Keep talking to us. We got your back. Smoochies Arlies

hey y'all! thanks for all the great advice... its nice to have friends on your side for a change. As for our marriage, it has been rocky from the start..I will admit I am not a Saint, I make mistakes just like anyone else, but I try to listen to his point of view and I WILL meet him halfway.. HIS way of doing things is it's HIS WAY or the HIGHWAY...mentality. I really honestly don't get it... when I first started talking about WLS he was all for it.. but just like a switch, he turned his attitude around like a 360.. I will tell you guys one thing I think it might be.. I heard him talking to his mother on the phone (she lives in PA) and he had her on speaker phone while I was in the other room, and anyway he was enthusiastically telling her I was wanting to have WLS,(this was before the 360) and she didn't sound to thrilled about that, she began to tell him about all the complications and about her friend that had it that stays sick all the time, and her hair falls out, and then she said (I don't think she knew she was on speaker phone) I just don't know why she can't go on a diet and lose it! Boy was I ever FUMING! Its been down hill ever since. But it's like you guys said, I need to do this for ME and if he can't support me , then I will just do it myself! I will be totally honest with y'all my therapist told me point blank, that my marriage needed counseling to survive, and he flat refuses to go to counseling, he doesnt think we have a problem, heck, he doesn't even believe depression is real! Sometimes I think he's nuts! I guess what got me thinking about the Kenny Chesney, Renee Zellweger thing, was that I read about them in People magazine, and they just looked so happy and so in love with each other, I guess that is what I am craving, just that closeness you feel with the person you love and when you are around them they make you feel so good that you can't stand to be away from them, I guess just that feeling of being crazy about the person your with. I just haven't felt that in a long time . I do love my hubby, and I want it to work, it just seems like he doesn't want to meet me halfway. He just keeps pushing me away when he doesn't want to confront our problems. Well Im sorry I've written a book y'all! I guess I just need to keep pressing on, no matter what obstacles I run across, thanks for listening y'all. TTFN Crystal