How to explain....

I found out that I will not meet the insurance's requirements for another 2 years of doctor documentation of me being overweight. I don't feel that I can physically or mentally last that long. So I am looking into paying for the surgery myself. I have a 75 year old Great Aunt that helps me out with things. I am going to be asking her for the money to get the surgery done. She is very stubborn and ridiculously ornery. The problem arises in explaining the surgery and why I need it and why it's worth the risks. How do I explain RNY Gastric Bypass surgery to a 75 year old woman? Just thought some of you would have some insight. Loves, Brandi :~)

Brandi - girl, you never can tell what people will think! I was scared to death to tell my family, especially my grandmother. My mother had it done 25 years ago and had so many complications. It was so bad that they made the doctor go back after two years and reconnect her stomach and reverse the surgery. So I was very scared of telling them. When I told my grandmother, the first thing she said was "Well, you know that the surgery has changed so much and the doctors have learned alot over the past years." She actually told me that she was glad that I was doing this, she knows that this is what it will take to help get me to a healthy weight. Think positively that your great Aunt will understand why you have decided to do this surgery! I will say a prayer that things will work out for you.... Marci

Thank you so much. I think the main problem I'll have, is she's probably never even heard of this type of thing and if she has, doesn't support this method. She's a physical education teacher at a college and teaches fitness on there as well. I have made a list of points I need to make and going to give her my entire folder that I've been putting together since my beginnings in this process. Hopefully, she will be compassionate. She's the one who started me on my first diet at 9 years old. This has been a constant battle for me, and I'm so tired. I need this. Surely she will understand.

I completely understand... all my life my family has told me, "you sure would be so pretty if you could lose some weight" or my grandmother would say she would buy me a complete wardrobe if I would lose some weight. I know they thought they were trying to help by saying these things, but it really hurt to hear these things constantly! Sounds like you have all the info that you need to go over with your great aunt and I wish you the best of luck. I hope that she suprises you, as mine did, and supports you in your decision! Best wishes, Marci

Hey Marci, I just wanted to tell you ,I can identify with you on the comments our families "lovingly" make to us about our weight .I was always told "why can't you be more like your sister" she was not fat while we were growing up that has sinced changed though(evil grin).The thing that really hurt me though was when I was about 8 years old I asked my grandfather why he did not have a picture of me in his wallet ,because he had a picture of my sister in his wallet but not me,he said because, I was too fat and the picture would not fit ,at the time it made sense to me but, when I got older I realized that it should have hurt my feelings lol , thank God for the ignorance of a child........ignorance is bliss............huggs..........Sherry

Hey Brandi, I pray that God will give you the right words to say to your great aunt,to convince her how important this surgery is for you.My family was not convinced that this was the right thing for me and thought I was insane for doing it ,I am not sure that thier opinion has changed yet but, I know that I am healthier for doing it. I think anyone who is in our positions would want to make themsleves healthier.I pray that it all works out for you girl,you deserve it ..............hugggs..........Sherry

Thank you so much sweety. And bless your little heart for your grandfather being so rude. I always thought the comments and finger pointing that I had to deal with was the toughest thing in the world, until I read other people's stories. It's all just heartbreaking. I was supposed to go today and talk with her, but I chickened out. She already does so much for us, that I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of her. And I certainly don't want her to feel that way either. I am going to try one more time tomorrow and see why my PCP didn't have three years worth of weight documentation to send to CMMC. The only sent one years worth the first time. I called them and told them to send it ALL over, and they only sent one year's worth again. If that falls through, then I'm going to go by and talk with her Wednesday afternoon. Thanks for the support, Brandi :~)

Brandi, I wish you all the luck in the world with talking to your family about this surgery. Some people really don't understand how it works and are totally against it because they still think it is "the easy way out". It may help to show her this website, and the "before and after" stories and pictures. My husband was totally against this as well, until i started showing him how many people that this surgery saved their lives. he now knows that this was the best thing I could have done for myself and for my family. I got my life back.. and I hope that soon you will to. Best wishes! Rhonda