Kinda Curious what you think...

I was on my Surgery Month board and saw a post where a woman was leaving her husband because he was still eating sweets and biscuits and she had asked him to not bring that stuff in the house. She had several folks tell her she was brave for leaving him and it really kinda ticked me off. She said he was obese and she was tired of changing her life and him not changing with her. I took real offense to this and kinda popped off. Just curious how many of yall have expected your spouses to give up chocolate and biscuits, etc just because you had this surgery. I understand its one thing to want your family to be healthy but would you leave the person you LOVE for eating chocolate or a biscuit or continued to live their lives the way they did before you had surgery. Maybe its just me and I dont understand... but my husband loved me thru my morbid obesity and never once judged me... AT ALL... I darn sure wont judge him or leave him because he has a piece of cake. Yes, I will try to change the way I cook, I will try to get him to exercise with me, be supportive but I dont expect him to change his whole life to accomodate me. Am I looney tunes? Christine

I'm with you, Christine! I fully expect to encounter friends, relatives and so on eating foods that I can't eat for the rest of my life. Having WLS is a very individual decision, and no one should expect to change the eating habits of others around them, especially a husband and children. This woman chose to have surgery, but her husband should not be forced to do without his favorite foods. You go girl!!! Janice

Hey Christine, I'm totally with you on this subject. Every single one of us has had surgery for THEMSELVES and nobody else. We , of all people, should be the ones to understand others who don't have the willpower to give up the chocolate or biscuits. If your spouse is overweight and you have surgery, then you should maybe try to involve him in the healthy lifestyle, but you can NOT make someone give something up they loved all their lives. Most of us have the food issues forever, even after surgery. Only it gets easier to deal with, and we somehow lose interest in things like chocolate ( I only crave it once a month and then make do with a few sugar free chocolate minis that are sooooooooooo sweet , after the first one, I say to myself " eww this is gross" ) It's completely up to an individual when they want to either start dieting, chose surgery or make a decision to live healthy. To me, it's hypocritical to leave a spouse because the spouse isn't changing the very same lifestyle they used to lead themselves pre-op ! My hubby is blessed with a good metabolism, he may have about 10 lbs too many but is in no way overweight, and even in the military, his exercise routine pretty much means rolling from side to side on the couch most of the time. I have to say though, he started walking with me and going swimming etc. He eats things I won't touch any more but I don't criticize him, I just say "no thanks" and find something worth eating when he eats that kind of junk. Nobody, but NOBODY should be flamed for eating. Thats about as narrow minded as saying "just stop eating" to all of those who are pre-ops. We've all heard it. It doesn't work. You aren't looney tunes, if you are, then so am I!! ~Andie~

Christine, I am with you girl on that one. My hubby has never judged me nor has never said anything about the way that I ate before my surgery. At times I ate more than him in one sitting. And sometimes ate more in a day than him. Never once did he say anything to me. I love him so much and would never ever leave him for eating what he still enjoys eating. I do however get on his boo-tay for the sweets cause he found out about a year ago he is border-line diabetic. But, he choice to go to Splenda and make sugar free desserts since I've had the surgery. And I must say it was a good choice. I still can't imagine leaving the man that I LOVE cause of what he eats..sheesh Alot of WLS people don't stop and realize that their spouce, family or friends have NOT had the surgery, so it's different for them. I know that if I had not have had the surgery, I would still be eating choc and etc! She needs to open her eyes and realize she is NOT THE ALMIGHTY and the world is not going to STOP turning cause she can't turn with it. Jo

i agree with u. my husband still eats bad stuff and he knows its bad but that is his decision.he knows what i went thru he was htere for everybit of it. but now he is exercising and watching some of what goes in his mouth. asd i do with my children more now too!

Well, Jim is diabetic so sweets aren't usually a problem, tho he does imbibe occasionally and I fuss at him because I don't want him to be sick. But I'd NEVER leave him because he ate sweets or biscuits. That's very, very shallow. And Jim has NEVER, EVER fussed at me about what I eat, how much I eat, or how much I weighed or how much I gained. He says love is not about what a person looks like. It's about what's inside them. So nope, I'd keep him no matter what....come chocolate cake or Hardee's bisuits!!! I don't think you are looney tunes. I think the lady was hunting an excuse to leave her hubby. Smoochies Arlies

I agree with you on this one too girlie! My hubby has never said anything about what i eat or how much.....cause even tho he is a TOOTHPICK!! he just about eats 2 times what i do at a sitting....no lie!! im with arlies on this one too i think she was just looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage...causethis is our choice not theres so they shouldnt have to change what they eat just because we choose to...my hubby asked me this the other day...lol...he said sooo i guess after surgery i am gonna have to suffer with the food cause you cant eat it....i told him really quick like NOPE! just cause i cant eat it dont mean he cant or austin for that fact....so no hun i dont think your looney tunes! Angie Bea

You are looney tunes, but not because of your opinion here LOL. I agree with you 100% on this one. I don't expect my family to change everything just for me. Now, before my surgery me and my family had some pretty bad eating habits, but they ate what I cooked. Now I cook different and use splenda in our desserts and I try to help my family be healthier, but my husband can eat whatever he wants and certainly not have to worry about me judging him for it. Not everyone has food addicition or weight problems. I knew when I had this surgery I would have to learn to be around foods I didn't need or couldn't have. I think that lady must have forgotten where she came from and how hard it is to just push the food away. If her husband is obese as well she may want to stay with him and help him get the surgery rather than leaving him to die. Love ya, Melissa

I totally agree with you. My husband is a little overweight. But I have never told him he could or could not eat something. I encourage him to eat right but I wouldn't leave him because of it. I was alot bigger than him before surgery and it was never an issue. Actually he fell in love with me at my highest weight. Anyone that could leave the one they love must not love them too much to start with. Or thats my opinion. I am just glad I have a hubby that loves me for me and not my size and I love him the same. Becky

I agree with oyu one hundred percent they are the ones looney tunes not you hun. I bet this hubby supported her completely when she was eating whatever she wanted but she feels since she had surgery that he must change too???????????? NOT. We do the surgery for us not for them they have to decide to do what is right for them on their own. So no hun you arent Looney Tunes. Bear1415 - 59 lbs 03-14-05