I want to share my newly found fears......

I am 1 week and 6 days from my big day. I found that I am really nervous from the whole surgery concept. But I also found that I am scared not only of death, complications or failure. Is it possible that I've been hiding behind my weight for so many years that I'm afraid to loose weight?? I might get hurt again?? I've found a reason to stay home..... Don't worry I do have a therapist that I started seeing to help me through all this, but we haven't discussed all this yet. I've just been so hurt in the last, WOW, a lot of years ... that the last three years I've become an introvert. I only go where I have to go (children's school, work and store). I have a question.... will this surgery really save me?? I am trying real hard to look at this in a very positive way!! I will be able to go places with a different type of confidence, like my child says "Mom, you will be able to run with me" I will be able to make good and happy memories with my child as my Mom and Dad did for me. Not have to worry about what chair to choose (is it sturdy?). And so many more positives........ Okay, I feel better!!! 8 days to pre-ops and 1 week and 6 more days until surgery.... Wooo Hoo !!!!!

Daphne girl--chill out!! YOu are much too hard on yourself. Don't over analzye yourself. Let me share some things that WLS DID NOT do for me. 1. It did not fix bad relationships. 2. It did not make my career more fantastic. 3. It did not make me "the life of the party" 4. There are no gaurantees of being slimmer for the rest of my life. 5. It did not make me stop thinking about the social aspect of eating ( I'm still dealing w/that.) 6. It did not make stress go away. NOW WHAT WLS DID FOR MY LIFE. SMILE!SMILE!SMILE! 1. GAVE ME MORE SELF CONFIDENCE. 2. GAVE ME A TOOL TO CONTROL MY EATING HABITS. 3. GAVE ME MORE TO SMILE ABOUT AND TO CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY ABOUT. 4. GAVE ME MORE PHYSICAL ABILITY TO DO MY JOBS. 5. GAVE ME THE DESIRE TO QUIT HAVING A "PITY PARTY FOR POOR FAT ME". 6. GAVE ME THE ABILITY AND OPTION OF BECOMING INVOLVED IN NEW THINGS. 7. GAVE ME THE CHANCE TO WEAR STYLISH CLOTHES THAT I WOULD NOT BE EMBARRASSED TO BE SEEN IN AT ANY OCCASION. 8. OTHER THINGS LISTED IN MY ANNIVERSARY POST 02-02 ON MESSAGE BOARD.

I get it. The things that wls has done for you is what I want. I know I need to take a chill pill .... once I get past the pms thing, I think (hope) I'll be less emotional about the surgery. Thanks! d--

Daphne- I do understand your fear and I did not mean to sound preachy. I had/have some of the same ones. I just want yu to be happy with your decision and not have unrealistic ambitions of WLS. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a wonderful person. YOU WILL SETTTLE DOWN ONCE YOU GET TO THE HOSPITAL. BUT ALL OUR FEARS DO NOT GO AWAY EVER. WE HAVE FOUGHT THE HARD BATTLE FOR SO LONG. I BELIEVE IT WILL GET EASIER. REACH AROUND YOURSELF AND GIVE YOURSELF A BIG HUG FROM ME. CALL ME IF YOU NEED ME. GLENDA

((((Daphne)))) Just wanted to hug ya! Your gonna do great and your gonna be out of the house doing all sorts of things... You will have more confidence and self esteem. Its gonna be fine! Christine

Daphne, You're absolutely normal in feeling anxious, if you would NOT be worried, then I would ponder about you being not normal Everyone has their own issues, some of us just like food, others are emotional eaters, and the one thing that this tool give you, is CONTROL like nothing else has before. Don't know about anyone else but I would get up in the morning saying to myself " today I am starting a diet and I am sticking to it" and by afternoon I would lie to myself and say well, today was the last normal day and tomorrow I will start my diet. I have lost 115 lbs in one year so far. I have regained confidence, not only am I more outgoing now and active, I greet people straight on and do NOT worry about them thinking " oh my, she's fat" any more. I've had a good marriage before surgery, a wonderful hubby who loved me the way I was at 334 lbs but our relationship has definitely benefited in MANY ways with me losing weight. I can do all the things everyone else does now. And I can do them better and longer. Walking, swimming? No problem. I've gotten so many compliments from others and have had a few proposals from guys I work with who didn't know I was married. Some of them work in other parts of the building and have not seen me in 9 months, when I was still a pre-op. One of them didnt even KNOW who I was even though I was sitting across from him nine months ago before I left and had surgery. Its amazing what it can do to your ego. Feeling better physically, healing emotionally and earning respect back by society who discriminates against morbidly obese people, doesn't solve ALL of your problems, but it definitely helps cope and get back on track . Please keep posting and stay in touch with you. We're here for you if you need us. ~~Andie~~

(((Daphne))) I do know exactly what you are feeling. I just erased a whole post about why I understand what you are saying, but decided not to bog you down with all that! Just know that I am SURE that this surgery will be the beginning of a new life for you and your family. I know that you know that! Keep the faith and know that we are here for you! HUGS Kimberly