Some Jokes! If offended easy- dont go in..

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts? (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference b etween a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find me n that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the *****s on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment What does it mean when the fla g at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****" Why is there no Disneyland in China ? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

I'm offended !!! Because the list ended !!! Where is the rest of it ???

Now that is funny I don't care who you are.......... Now that is some funny *&$# ???

I can't wait to tell my sweet little old aunt of 87 years the joke about how to make an 80 year old sweet lady say the f word!!!! She is gonna hoot!!! Those are great!!! Thank you so much! I am printing them out for Jim to take to work (except for the WV one, cause he's from WV!!! I'll change that to AL.) Thanks! Smooches Arlies

OMG i just got the biggest kick out of thi. i printed it to show everybody i love it. this board is just what i need. susan