Wonderful Saturday Morning

We have this lady in town that on Fridays comes in and sells Hot Tamales and they are FANTASTIC... Being the fat one I am usually her biggest order but yesterday when she came in I almost decided not to get any and she looked at me like she was puzzled. I started thinking that this would be the last time and if I dont get them now -I wont get to eat them again for a very LONG time. I got them but do you know that I usually eat them as soon as she brings them and yesterday they sat on my desk ALL day - I took them home with me and did not eat any until last night. Mind you - I can usually eat the whole DOZEN in one sitting. They are really this good... Last night I ate 4. I am amazed at myself. This morning we are about to go to Shoneys to enjoy my last trip to the breakfast bar. And we have made plans to go to Conestoga Steak House next week for my last steak for awhile. Its weird because of all the things I NEED to do before this surgery - the first things I do is make plans for what I am going to eat first. I think this should tell me AND it has-- that I have a eating disorder. I never really thought about it before. I never realized before how big eating is in my life. To sit down and think OH MY GOSH I gotta eat this and this and this before I have this surgery is weird. Is this normal? Do you all do this too? We had a silent auction at work several weeks ago and I won several things but not all... I won a Margarita Basket with chips and salsa and 2 margarita glasses with margarita mix. I told the lady who donated it that I needed it soon or I wouldnt be able to enjoy it before my surgery. My life has become obsessed with food and I am thankful to God that I soon will not be like this again. I hope this TOOL gives me MY life back and I dont live for food anymore. I used to wake up thinking "What am I going to have for lunch today?" Its putting things into perspective for me. I know I can still eat this stuff later after a while but I just hope and pray it doesnt consume me like it has my entire life. I am rambling --Good Morning to you all! I hope you are having a great day so far... I will check in later....

ME too ! I have eaten my last time at Olive Garden. That was my favorite restaurant Now I am saving my last steak for outback. Last for a while of course b/c later on I can go to Olive Garden and have the salad which is why I love to go there and will be able to eat steak later on too. I am really excited. It helps me so much to see all of you going foreward and me too. When I dont have anything and am waiting on the Dr office is sure does help me to see you all moving along, and keeps me motivated.

Christine, You've got "Last Meal Syndrome." Don't worry, at just over a year out now, I can pretty much have any of those things. Just in small doses. Had Steak last week, Lasagna, this week, Pretty much anything- Except sweets- (I'm a Dumper) But Honestly, those foods have completely lost their appeal. All of us have a little bit of that- "I'll never have this again" thought in our heads- pre-op. Don't believe it. You'll just be able to fit comfortably in a tight booth when you eat some of it in the future. Prayers for your up-coming surgery- Best Wishes- Dx

CONGRATS ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. YOU HAVE TAKEN A VERY BIG STEP BY ADMITTING THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH FOOD. IM 47 AND I HAVE USED FOOD AS MY PACIFER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL. GRANDMA HAD A CAKE OR PIE FOR ME WHEN I GOT HOME FROM SCHOOL. (OH, THOSE MEAN GIRLS AT SCHOOL WANT PLAY WITH YOU, HAVE A SLICE OF CAKE) WE MOVED TO THE COUNTRY (NOBODY TO PLAY WITH, HAVE SOME ICE CREAM) DONT HAVE A DATE OF FRIDAY NITE CAUSE YOUR TO DAMN FAT (LETS HAVE HAMBURGERS AND FRENCH FRIES LOADED WITH CHILI, CHEESE AND KETCHUP) FIRST HUSBAND CHEATED (HELL JUST EAT) PROBLEMS AT WORK (EAT SOME MORE). CAN WE SEE A PATTERN HERE? I HAD SURGERY ON JULY 19TH 2004 AND IT IS GOING TO SAVE MY LIFE.THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO LOOK FOR BESIDE WHAT TO EAT? MSY GOD GO WITH YOU THRU YOUR SURGERY AND WELCOME TO THE LOSING SIDE SUSAN