my friend thinks i will forget her

My friend thinks when i loose weight , that i will forget about her because she is also heavy. I told her that they are working on my stomic not my personality! I couldnt not and would not do something like that. Im talking about a friend thats kinda like my hmmm not girfriend but something like it , I think of us as best friends. I dont know how to tell her or let her know i wont abandon her. She knows my whole life and I her. kinda like were mairied , were togather so much. she says i will be going on lots of dates ect.. I hate bars and clubs id rather go to church anyday than a bar . I dont know why she thinks that. I guess my ? is does your personality change when you go from a large person to a normal waight ? I would hope not and ive not done anything to make her think that i would. Also my neice says i will not be me and she likes me the way i am. Do they not realize its my life dream to loose weight and be healthy or whats the deal ? has anyone been thourgh this? please let me know.

Benny.... Welcome to our board! I don't get the chance to post much between work and working out but I do try to get on here from time to time. One thing that I CAN tell you about being postop is that you DO change ...but in a good way! You will be healthier and much more active. You will find that your moods are better as you feel better about yourself and your health. You will most likely be more outgoing and exuberant...more social. That doesn't mean that you are going to turn into a bar hopping maniac though!.... Fear is a very scary thing to deal with... the thought of you achieving that happier and healthier lifestyle makes those around you examine THEIR lives in finer detail. It makes them have to deal with THEIR issues in ways that they never thought they would have to. The real you...the one with the core values and morals will be the same but it will be in a happier and healthier "package" so to speak. Keep open the lines of communication and encourage those around you that are scared to talk their feelings out too. I have never believed that the WLS patient themselves were the only ones dealing with the big issues. Our loved ones and friends deal with them too (even though there are those who disagree with this notion). Keep learning all you can about WLS and encourage those around you to learn alongside as well. Communication & sharing your feelings is going to be the winning ticket for sure!.. Please let me know if there is anything else that I can help you out with. Wishing you NOTHING but the best my dear! Elizabeth~

You will change in a positive way. Your friend and niece are a little afraid of change. Change is a good thing if you are getting healthier. As you lose weight women will be more attracted to you, and that is normal. Maybe you can encourage your friend to have wls too. Your personality will not change but you could become more self confident and outgoing and that is good. Many of us come out of our shells. We are like cocoons that that butterflies emerge from. When you are heavy you are a cocoon when you lose your weight you are like a beautiful butterfly.

Thanks you both for the great encourragement i need it !

One thing I found that changes is your obsession with food. Because you can't eat very much, the fact that the gang is going out to eat is not as exciting as before in that you aren't looking that forward to eating. I based my whole life around what I would eat when. If your relationships are based on eating, then that may change. However, you can replace your obsession with food with an obsession with relationships and concentrating on being a good friend. For instance, the other day, my daughter had a debate banquet to go to ($13.50 a plate, buffet). This did not excite me like it would have pre-surgery, however the fact that I went with her and was there for her awards and for the chit-chat before and after were priceless. The fact that I could park and walk into the school without stopping five times to catch my breath was another positive fact. Church is a notorious place for emphasizing food. You can be a positive influence there in making sure they have healthy alternatives or even bringing the healthy snacks if it is something where everyone is supposed to bring snacks. It may not be as easy as bringing a bag of chips and a tin of dip, you might have to cut up some cheese or fruit, but you and your friends will be better for it. Change, you bet. But like everyon else said, change for the better. Your friend is concerned that when you get skinny, you won't like her fat. If the shoe was on the other foot and she was loosing weight and you weren't, you might be a little concerned as well. My advice is let her know how much you care and that you will not change inside just because your outside changes. Like many have said, I look in the mirror and think who is that person. I still see myself as I was before. I'm slowly getting to the point where I realize I've lost weight. I see a chair and think, I can't fit in that. But I sit down and there's extra room. It's a wow thing! It would be great if your friend could have the surgery as well. Maybe she will when she sees your great progress. Teresa