Do you have an abuser?

I came across this and wanted to share with everyone. PUT YOUR ABUSER IN JAIL! One morning last week I woke up and realized that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. No, it's not my husband who gives me unconditional love and praise. Of course it's not one of my three young children. It's the other person in my house. My abuser gives me no credit for marking 10 things off my to-do list but instead dwells on the one thing that I haven't finished. She focuses on the few extra pounds on my thighs and stomach instead of my wonderful smile. She gives me no credit for being the first person in my family to graduate from college but berates me for not being as smart as the doctors and lawyers in my neighborhood. She doesn't notice that the house is relatively clean, the sink is empty without soaking dishes and the laundry is done, but finds tiny spots on the floor that need wiping. It's not enough that she bullies me during the day but she even routinely wakes me out of a deep sleep to let me know that I'm not good enough. "Let me sleep," I yell at her, and she yells back, "Not until we go over your to-do list 100 times!" I wake up with dark circles under my eyes and no energy. Is she physically abusive too? Would I put up with this behavior from my husband? Of course not! My friends? They wouldn't be my friends anymore. My kids? They'd be sent to time-out immediately. Yet when my abuser talks to me I listen to every word she says as though it's true. I lower my head and sink into depression. I've been living with this person all my life and yet it's taken me over 40 years to realize what an emotional bully she really is. Well.........no more! I'm putting her where all abusers should be--in jail. In fact, I'm putting her in solitary confinement and throwing away the key. I'm shacking up with someone who loves me for ME and gives me nothing but positive thoughts. This new positive person will let me sleep (please let me sleep!). When my abuser comes back (and I know she'll try), my new best friend and I are going to do some serious butt-kicking. Please join me in putting your abuser in jail too.

Cathy, you are such an inspiration to others! how painfully true this is and what a precious angel you are for sharing it with others !!! Keep being the beautiful person you are. I know that you mean a lot to a lot of us in all the stages of our journey! Guess what......20 more days till Mexico!!!! I am so bummed that I missed the support group meeting, I had to work....needed a few more pesos for the trip! Did I miss a lot? I will be in a hotel in KC, preparing for my 6:00 am flight to Puerto Vallarta on the 13th, so I will miss next month also. Please tell everyone to keep me in their prayers (can I say that on here?). Hopefully, I'll see everyone in April and be a little skinnier when I do! Victoria Kelsay

Victoria, WOW, thank you for such a nice response. I appreciate so much what you said as it means a lot. Don't worry about missing the support group meeting. We'll be waiting for less of you at the April meeting. You're doing much better things in working for your goal on March 14th. Thanks again so much. Cathy ObesityHelp Support Group Leader

Wow what a powerful statment. It is so nice to hear from people who understand everything I am going through. I never realized how much I do that, and I do all of that. I never give myself credit for the good things I do. I am the only one besides my sister that has graduated from college on both sides of my family yet I feel like I am not as smart as everyone else. Why do I say thoughs things to myself? It is hard to figure out. Anyway thanks for these words and I will try to be positive today. Have a great day and God bless, Penni

Penni, When I read that about the abuser it really resonated with me too. I'm glad that it meant a lot to you too. I thought it was incredibly powerful so I wanted to share it with everyone here. You deserve only the best. Focus on all the many positive accomplishments you've done. I know just by posting here on our Board and sharing of yourself the way you do - well.....that's only 1 of many, many positive things you do. Cathy ObesityHelp Support Group Leader