T-Totally Ticked OFF!

It's hard enough to get this body up and to the fitness center... But I've been doing it! Faithfully! I've noticed that now that I am losing (little, but some) weight, people actually come up to me and talk to ME!?... Anyway... As I was working on the weights this morning, these two... MIND YOU, skinny ladies are working out talking about the "fitness assessment" that the fitness center offers... Well, it ended up that I said that I had my assessment done twice now and told them the results... then my surgery came up... Do you know that because these women had seen some special on 20/20 or 60 minutes that they considered me and called me a "CHEATER"! Grr... if it were only that easy. How do you explain to IGNORANT people that this surgery isn't "cheating"... If I just would have had something simple and to the point to tell these ladies... I walked out of there soooo frustrated! What would you say? ~Stacey

Stacey It seems so unfair that when we are heavey we are judged. And when we try to get healthier we are judged. I am not the best when it comes to someone saying something that rings my bell by keeping my mouth shut! I usually give them the same attitude back that they give me. The only thing I can think of in saying to these Ignorant buffons is: 1st When you get overweight then come talk to me. 2nd How do you define a diet?? In the American Heritage Dictionary a Diet is: A regulated selection of foods, esp. as prescribed for medical reasons. -v To eat and drink according to a regulated or prescribed system. Well that what we do!!! We also have to work out and exercise. Everything that you normally would have to do if you didnt have the surgery. 3rd and most importain who are you to say I am a cheater!!!! What you have never had your nails done?? Went tanning in a tanning bed?? Had a tummy tuck, breast enlargement, crows feet erased, ect?? Thats the same thing you cheated to acheive those so when your perfect then come talk to me. Sorry I dont care for judgemental people and I have never been one to hide behind my size!!! I hope this helps some if not it kind of felt good typing it. lol Melissa

Hello, It is sad that you can't talk to someone without them judgeing you or others who have had the surgery. You have done something for you and they need not be jealous that you are improving your heath and taking care of you. Forget them!! My mother always told me people like that have insecurities of their own. Keep up your goals and you will achieve anything you set your mind too!!! RoseH.

Stacey, That sucks! In situations like these you just want to hit someone. It would depend how much time I had and if I was frustrated enough to lay into them. The short answer would be, ask them if they know anything about the surgery and tell them if they don't know anything they need to not say anything. How are you doing? Have you lost anymore? Call me!!!!! your angel,Penni

I would have told them to go %&$# off (in christian love of coarse). Then I would have gone back to my workout. This has been another installment on how to win friends and influence people by Wayne Wayne

Stacey... This is another reason that I have chosen to NOT tell anyone about my surgery save for a few close friends and close family. It is MY business and noone elses. For me it was the right choice. By nature I am a very private person and I will NOT place myself in someone's firing range just because they think that THEY can tell me how I should live my life. Anytime that I have seen folks open themselves up to something like this it ends up biting them in the hiney some way or fashion down the road. Now if you want to do it...just be prepared for situations like what happened. You can't control folks and for sure you can't control what flies out of their mouths. It is their insecurity, anger and other issues that they try to vent off in the name of telling you how YOU should run your life. For me, I cut em' off at the pass. I don't tell them. None of their business and I'm a much happier camper to boot! Sorry though that you had to face their contempt and ridicule. After all the end goal is the same... we ALL have to work hard to achieve it no matter WHAT method is used. ((hugs)) Elizabeth~

Hi Stacey, I am sorry that happened to you. Just as people say uninformed, insensitive things, you'll also have more people that are encouraging and supportive. It shows their personal insecurities or who knows the emotional filters such an insensitive comment came from within themselves. It says more about them that it certainly says about you!! Very narrow minded of them and very courageous of you! I did not tell people when I first had the surgery because I didn't want to hear the negative comments. However, when I started losing weight and people wanted to know how I was doing it, I didn't want to be dishonest or give them false hopes about some magic diet or only "eating healthy and exercising" I was following. As I lost weight, I grew in confidence regarding having surgery and was happy to share about my success. As a result of me opening up, there were two people I knew that originally had been very against the surgery that had it themselves and were very successful. You never know the positive difference you might make in sharing your surgery. It is a personal decision whether to tell or not tell. There are no "right" or "wrong" answers about being open about it. Having surgery is nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about. The majority of people you will encounter that know you had the surgery will be supportive and usually ask questions due to being interested. They either know of someone that had it or is considering having it. I have had numerous people contact me for information as a result of knowing I had it. I commend you for what you did. As you lose weight and get healthier, you will make your strongest statement ever to them without ever having to say a word!! You Go Girl!!! Cathy ObesityHelp Support Group Leader

Cathy... I know that you are trying to be supportive to Stacey and I think that it is wonderful of you! By no means am I trying to cause controversy but I am trying to understand your comments such as "However, when I started losing weight and people wanted to know how I was doing it, I didn't want to be dishonest or give them false hopes about some magic diet or only "eating healthy and exercising" I was following. As I lost weight, I grew in confidence regarding having surgery and was happy to share about my success." OR "It is a personal decision whether to tell or not tell. There are no "right" or "wrong" answers about being open about it. Having surgery is nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about" I know that YOUR decision to tell or not to tell was the right decision for you. But taking your words at their face value makes me feel (and might make others feel) that their choice not to tell is either being dishonest or in some way a reflection on their confidence in having the surgery. That if/when we "get" to that level of either confidence or when we are able to be completely "honest" we will be able to come clean with our little secret. It isn't a secret with me where I concoct an elaborate story in order to "cover" myself. I'm a private person by nature and that is just me being ME. It might just be me but it just kinda struck a nerve. During most of my adult overweight life I have always just taken a back seat and not set out to cause ripples when someone said something that struck a chord with me. I just don't do that any longer. I have learned that it doesn't serve me in the long run. Also that it isn't physically and mentally healthy for me as well. Not that I am attacking you personally so please don't take it that way. It is just that your words in your post made me feel badly because of the choice that I made FOR ME regarding my privacy. Just my opinion... your mileage may vary! Elizabeth~

This thread is about and in support of Stacey and what she shared with us. My post is in support of Stacey and not directed at or about anyone else. I shared my personal experience and opinion. Cathy ObesityHelp Support Group Leader

Cathy... well despite my best efforts to not peeve you off...and at an attempt to understand where you were coming from I get yet another terse reply from you. I am not trying to get your goat, I am not trying to annoy you. I am trying to understand your comments that you put up on a PUBLIC forum and that everyone else could read. I guess you have a problem with that and for that I am sorry. Being a support group leader I would think that you would welcome dialogue espeically when it comes to trying to understand the mindset of the various folks that have had weight loss surgery. Even if it is controversial in nature. It is only through dialogue that folks can come together and understand the thoughts feelings and emotions that surface after having WLS. Please don't feel that you have to respond to my post. If you do that is fine but I don't really feel the need to be at the receiving end of another one of your terse replies. I prefer to surround myself with positive thoughts ...*s* especially at the start of yet another hectic workday! Have a great one and I hope that you read or reread my posting and take it in the light that it was meant... Elizabeth~