I lost my only support person......

My husband was very supportive of my decision to have surgery. We planned to go to the support meeting tonight. Sunday he dropped a bomb, he is unhappy and has been seeing another woman since Thanksgiving. He moved out Monday and I am now alone with a 3 1/2 year old. The rest of my family does not understand why I can't just diet and exercise and lose the weight. They think I am "taking the easy way out" and they are not supportive. I have no idea what I am going to do, but I am having the surgery regardless of who is by my side. You will probably be seeing me on here a lot more. I hope you all don't mind.

I am so sorry to hear about this loss of your support but that is what we are here for on this board....Do this for yourself and your 3 1/2 year old...that is who is the most important....Keep us updated and you can always email me through here.....I will try and support you the best I can....This board was my refuge when I thought noone else understood...Thank goodness my husband was very supportive and still is....I will keep you in my prayers..... Please keep in touch. God bless Rachael

Hi Angela, I'm so sorry to hear of your recent troubles. My heart goes out to you and your precious 3 1/2 yr old. I understand where you are with dealing with your family and their lack of support. I haven't had WLS yet but I'm getting my paper work together and do understand how this could feel like a minor set back . But I just want you to know that you KNOW this is what you need, don't give up and keep fighting the fight. Things will start to look up for you before you know it. Best of luck to you! Cassandra

Angela Oh sweetie, I am so sorry to hear about everything that you have been going thro. My heart and thoughts go out to you. Coming from a wife that had been cheated on in my previous marriage. But DONT let anyones comments stray you away from maken the decision weither or not to have the surgery. That needs to be up to you and you alone!!!! And how people can say it is the easy way out. Just blows my mind. What is so easy about having your stomach rearranged, limiting yourself to the food that you have always loved and enjoyed, having to take vitamins for the rest of your life, haveing to exercise when sometime we couldnt nor would get off the couch. It is a total body make over. And they call it the easy way out?? Hell if this is easy I wouldnt want to see hard!!! Girl just remember you will never be able to please everyone. So the ones you need to look out for is your kid/kids #1, and yourself!!!! If your hubby cant see what a good thing he had. Then it is his loss!!! Keep your head up and dont let anyone tear you down!!!!!!!!!! If you need to talk please email me. I am here if you just want to let off some steam too. God Bless Melissa

Dear Angela, I am so sorry to hear about your devastating news. It seems that sometimes it can be our own families that hurt us the most no matter what age we are. As far as "taking the easy way out" they don't truly understand what a commitment you have made to your long-term health. You will have to exercise, drink plenty of water, eat very small portions and perhaps never eat some foods again in your lifetime even if it was your favorite food prior to the surgery. You have to always eat or drink protein first. It is "not an easy way out". Have you already been scheduled for your surgery? Please hang in there for the sake of your child. Don't become discouraged. If you ever need to talk or just vent my e-mail is [email protected] Have a Merry Christmas Kathy from MO

Dear Angela, I'm praying for you right now. I'm so sorry this happened. I'm glad you have this board to come to when you need to talk things out. Tracey Bateman

I wish there were words that could take your pain away. You just have to remember that YOUR life decisions are made by YOU and that you have to stand up to the decisions you have made. I found the more that I talked w/my family, the more they understood why I made the decision I did. It, BY NO MEANS, is easy. There is NOTHING easy about it. I'm about three weeks post op and feel everything changing in my life. If you should ever need to vent or chat about anything. Please feel free to call or email me: Stacey (660)563-2692 or [email protected] Keep your chin up!

Hi Angela, I saw you tonight at support group, and I am sorry that you feel like you are going through this alone........if there is anything that I can do to help you out just call me. If you want, I can email you my cell phone number or if you got a listing of the post-ops at group tonight my name and number is on there.........feel free to call me at anytime. If this is something that you truely want for yourself, then by all means, push ahead........I know that I feel like this is the best thing that I have ever done for myself and am so glad that I went through with it. My life has changed so much over the past 7 months and it is nothing like I could have ever imagined. If your husband doesn't want to be supportive of you, that is his loss, cause you are going to come out of this as a glamourous buterfly and I am not just talking about what people will see from the outside........you will feel like a whole new person on the inside. I know that I am not the same person that I was a year ago and I don't want to ever go back to that person that I was before, I was the shy, timid, hide out in the corner type of person, and that is so not me anymore. I finally have began to live and am able to see and do things that I have only dreamed of. I know that you said that your husband just left this past week, but if you ever want to talk to other singles who have/are going through this alone, feel free to go to the WLS singles messageboard........they are an awesome group of people and are always there to be supportive or answer any questions you may have. Also there are quite a few of us that live around the St Louis/O'Fallon IL area and we occasionally get togather for dinner and dancing down on the Landing in St Louis, if this is something that sounds interesting to you let me know, we are always looking for new people to hang out with. The Singles board isn't like a meat market where you can go and pick up guys, its more so that we all have a support system for each other when there isn't anyone at home to be supportive of you through this, we have become very supportive of each other not only in their surgery, but before and afterwards, and later on when you are ready to date, they are always giving really good advice to help with that, which alot of overweight people never really had to deal with before. Well anyways, I hope to see you at more of the support groups, and remember, if you have any questions or need someone to talk to, I am here. Theresa K

Oh Angela I am so sorry for what you are going through. If you don't mind me saying---your husband is a pig. Now, I am all for mending relationships because I hate divorce but he chose to leave you. Also sorry about your family saying the you are taking the easy way out. This is not an easy way out as a matter of fact this decision will effect your whole life. You can always diet and loose weight but eventually you will put it back on and more. With this tool it will help you keep the weight off. You can't just cheat because if you do you will be sick. No one understands what you will go through because they won't do it themselves. Alot of times people (if they are overweight, in my opinion) are jealous because they know you are doing something drastic and they want to do it but are too chicken to do it. It is a pleasure to have you on here and that is what we are here for, to support you. Do you have a place in your hometown that could lend you support? Like a local church. Before I had a date I would ask people's opinion on the surgery I finally would tell people that I was having surgery and that I needed their support and if they couldn't give me positive feedback to just don't say anything. Unfortunatly all people hear about are the bad stories about this surgery. Normally if something bad happens it is the patients fault for not following the surgeon's advice. Don't listen to anyone who is negative. Also know that this is a big life changing experience and you need to be completly positive about the decision to have this surgery. It is not for everyone. When you make a decision go with it and ask God to protect you and He will be a support to you. Hang in there and merry Christmas, Penni

Angela, I'm so sorry that you've had such a stressful week and especially during the holiday season. Please let everyone on the Missouri board offer you support and know that you're not alone. Deciding to have WLS was one of the hardest decisions that I've ever had to make and isn't the easy way out. Please let us know how you're doing! Merry Christmas, Kelli