Friday question of the day

Ok all this one is going to be tuff for some to answer. Is your spouse, significant other, partner etc. jealous of you getting surgery (for pre-ops), or jealous that you had surgery (post-ops) and have lost / losing alot of weight. Now this may not apply of your spouse etc isnt heavy, however for some it is. And it may be an issue even if they arent heavy. So like I said this one is a tuffy and for some a chance to blow off some steam... I will start - My wife is jealous as I would be also. She is heavy, however not heavy enough to qualify for surgery. She does support me, however there are times when you can see my weight drop is causing her mixed emotions. So for her I thinik it is bittersweet. So chime in, vent, cry, scream, do what ya gotta do... Gevin

Dear Gevin, My husband did not want me to have this surgery. He was afraid I'd find someone else whe I got thin. Now he is kind of warming up to the idea of me being healthier and thinner but he misses his eating buddy. His family is from Guam and their whole life centers around food and family(of course they are all about 100lbs soaking wet). I just let him know no matter what I love him very much. Carol

Carol, I am so glad to hear that and I think alot of spouses feel the same way even if they dont always say it. So go give him a hug and suggle up to him even closer than you could before.. Gevin

Gevin I think at first my hubby was scared about me getting it done. I know he thought that I wouldnt want to say with him if I got thinner. I told him he was silly my weight, ring, house, car, clothes ect nothing made me stay with him now. But the fact that I love him and I WANT to be with him. (silly boy) Now he is all for it. He knows we could do so much more living and be so much healthier. He is totally behind me. Melissa

Hey Melissa, I am so glad you have a husband like that. It is going to be a rough road in spots and there is nothing like having someone that supports you.~! And you right, after surgery a whole new world will open up for you.. Refer back to the weekly question... hehe. Gevin

I feel very lucky in that my wife is VERY supportive of me getting this surgery. She is heavy but not enough to qualify for surgery (I dont think she would if she could). She works out every other day and is looking forward to me being as active as she is. Wayne

Wayne, Do you work out with her too? I tell ya there is nothing better than a good workout with the one you love~! Gevin

I feel very lucky in that my wife is VERY supportive of me getting this surgery. She is heavy but not enough to qualify for surgery (I dont think she would if she could). She works out every other day and is looking forward to me being as active as she is. Wayne

My wife had surgery six months after I had mine, so no problem. I do know that many marriages have broken up, sometimes a spouse marries someone heavy for a bad reason and when that weight is gone the marriage is on the rocks. Some insecure people feel more secure with a heavy person. It is kind of sad really. I know of several couples who have had sugery. If one spouse has surgery and does well the other spouse if they qualify useally has surgery too. That is a good thing as Martha Stewart would say.

David, Sadly your correct on all points and thats where this question came from. I hope that it will open folks eyes and if need be help them understand that as a person your entire life changes and for the better, however not always for the better for the other person. I have seen people come from behind walls, blossom into new people, and sometimes, sprout wings and fly. I know the insecurity feeling. Last year my wife lost alot of weigh on South Beach, I lost some but nothing in comparison. I saw guys looking at her, etc. I almost got to where I couldnt take it. I also think thats part of why she quit and gained the weight back.. I am very glad to hear you and the wife are doing well and I hope for great success in your weight loss and marriage! Gevin