saying goodbye

I just wanted to say thanks to all those that stuck with me threw the whole surgery thing. I just dont feel the welcome around here that i did 2 years ago. I am sorry to say goodbye i am not looking to be begged to stay i just feel its time to move on and find other means of support again thanks mo and Obesityhelp marsha

Love you, Marsha. I've not been on here much but you certainly are welcome anytime. Teresa

Hey Marsha, I don't get on much anymore. I understand your feelings, I feel it sometimes too. If you don't get on the boards anymore, at least keep in touch with me through email. Hope things are going well with you. Talk to ya soon. Rita

Well, Marsha, you have to admit that it's difficult to get support from others when you don't visit the board very often. Aside from that tiny little technicality, you're right...this board isn't the same anymore. I think the majority of us who were big posters last year have finally gotten comfortable with our surgeries and our new lives and spend very little time seeking solace from others. It kind of reminds me of the end of the movie "Stand By Me" when all of Gordie's friends disappear as the adult Gordie tells about what happened to all of them after that summer. I hope that you are able to find the support that you need. I know that you've had a lot of issues to deal with this past year. Hang in there and take it one day at a time. Pamela 352/241/150

Hi Marsha! Sorry to see you leaving after you just came back to visit again. I wish you luck and good health......and most of all, I wish you happiness. Shelli Down 230 lbs.....and still counting!

Shelli...Holy cow, you're looking fabulous! You are doing absolutely wonderful!

Marsha, are you leaving OH all together? I am sorry you don't feel welcome...is there anything I can do? (((HUGS))), Toots

Hi Marsha I'm sorry you are not getting the support you need. We each need different levels of support. I get it in many ways. I know a lot of times I didn't put myself out to get the support I needed and I missed out on a lot of that at one time. I hope that you will stick around. There are plenty of places to get the support you need. Have you checked out the "grads" board, it's for those over a year out. We have different needs. Check it out. http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/member-interests/wls_grads/ Amy

Hi Marsha!! Sorry to hear you are thinking of leaving... you will be missed! I know I'm not on OH as much as I was pre-op, and I'm on the main board a lot more than the MO board, I try to get by here on a weekly visit if I can. I've been going to a local support group meeting monthly and I'm still using OH to help w/my quetions and support. But like I said most of my activity is on the main board, remember you can always change your mind and or just stop by to say HI sometimes. "and you can e-mail me any time you want to visit or talk about WLS issues". Also I have yahoo IM [email protected], so you are welcome to IM if you see me on line!!!! GOOD LUCK!!! Sweetie! SherrieD 10.12.04 278/182/???

All, It seems to me there is a life-cycle to the use of this board, and probably also of support groups in general. Basically, we all know there are steps for the process to (1) arranging, (2) having, (3) adjusting to, and finally (4) maintaining your life after gastric bypass (or other bariatric) surgery. In general, it seems to me that once people are beyond stage 3 and into maintenance mode, they move on from the need for regular support. So, as a result, I think all of us who eventually get surgery are going to encounter this time/place in our lives where we are ready to move on. I think this is normal and just part of the process and, if you think about it, is very similar to any major life change. For example, think about getting married . . . you (1) arrange it, (2) have the wedding, (3) adjust to married life, and (4) move into a long term or maintenance mode. As beautiful and blessed an event a wedding/marriage is, by the time you get to #4, you are not in the same place you were when you were in stage 1, where all you wanted to do was share and talk about it with your friends and family, and could hardly think of anything else. You still love your life in stage 4, but rather than defining your life at that moment, the marriage is now a part of it. I think it is the same with obesity surgery -- by stage 4, it doesn't define your life anymore and it is just another big change that happened as part of your life. So, for those who are into stage 4 by now, if they come to this board, they are probably not running into the same people they did who were in the 1, 2, and 3 stages at the same time they were. Naturally, you may then feel a bit like an outsider. It would be like being married for 10 years, and walking into a room of 22 year olds discussing their upcoming marriages, or talking about the one they just went to, etc. The connection you feel to those women is there, but much more distant now. And, there is sadness in that because you miss your old friends, your old conversations, etc. Anyway, that is I think about four cents' worth. . . . I hope it makes sense to y'all. Take care. - Beth