Can of Worms

I'm going to make some folks mad now but the longer I am on this site and the more I meet folks having surgery the more convinced I become that way too many people are like the tail wagging the dog. They want their surgery NOW and don't want to take time to learn what is happening and to really understand what they are getting in to. So they want to go to the doctor who will not make them wait and have psych visits or nutrition visits or exercise visits and learn to log what they eat and learn what vitamins they need to take for life and learn the importance of drinking water and eating protein and learn, learn, learn.


This should not be looked at as a QUICK fix. We may have been thinking about having the surgery for years but until we have serious time in groups and on this site and meet with experts we are NOT ready to have surgery. The people who rush into this are the ones who have regrets and less success.

Take deep breaths. Learn patience. Practice the rules you'll be following for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. This isn't something that you do for six or twelve months, lose the weight and then go back to life the way it was. This is FOREVER!

We are never the same. And we shouldn't want or expect to be. The way we were is FAT and unhealthy and when we finally realize that no food is worth the price we have paid in the past to have things our own way - then we are ready to have the surgery.

Six months is not a long time to wait. It may not even be long enough.

Everyone - slow down and realize what you are doing. It's not all lollypops and roses out here. It's hard work - way harder than being fat. We give up our comfortable best friend - foods and we have to find the reason we overate in the first place and figure out how we are going to deal with that after surgery.Then, maybe, we're ready to proceed.

I love you all and want only success for each of you but I want you to be informed and ready before you change your life forever.

Hugs and tough love,

Lana

Lana I applaud you for saying this so well!! And if you don't mind I would like to add my 2 cents too.
I hear way too often 'oh I will get the Lap Band so if I don't really like it I'll just have them take it out'. Folks this isn't some new pair of shoes you can return if they aren't comfortable!! But the one that just drives up the wall is 'I gotta have this surgery before the first of the year or not at all cause I have met my deductible'. I understand the financial aspect but this is not something you should do just to 'beat the bank' on your deductible for goodness sakes. Often times they don't even know how to pronounce the names of the surgery little lone understand the dynamics of post-op life.
Not to point any fingers just trying to help anyone that is reading this thinking about having WLS. Please please read Lana's post again and do your own research and education. It is no one's responsibility other than you. And if you want to be successful it requires work and dedication before and after surgery.
DON'T BE PART OF THE HORROR STORIES BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO BOTHER DOING THE WORK!
You will be even more proud of your success than you are impatient trust us!!!
Connie

Hi Lana, this is the first time i've been on in a very long time, and this is the first post to pop out at me.Great job you said everything perfectly, I think that the forced waiting, diets, evaluations etc etc, are all part of the big picture, if it were possible to decide to have it done one day, and have surgery the next ...can you imagine what would happen?! oh my , the horror of it, there is a reason for everything, the doctors (the GOOD ones) arent just trying to make a quick buck, they want you to be successful and all the pre op stuff is essential and for a reason, if you do not have the patience, money, time and whatever other reason (excuse) you can think of, then maybe wls is not for you, Trust us all who have been through it already, IT IS NOT A QUICK FIX!!! would I do it all again?  YES ! in a hot minute, everytime I get discouraged , fall of the damn sugar wagon, I look at a before picture at 400 lb.s, and remember how miserable  I was. But there are times when I am sick to death of the never ending vitamins, the protein, the foods i want to scarf..but can't (thank God..i mean that literally) and it's all worth it. Patience is not only a virtue, but for those contemplating wls it is a MUST . think of the future, 6 mo's seems like forever to wait, but forever feeling better about yourself is priceless!

Just want to say I totally agree with Lana, Connie and SusyA. I have lost 123 pounds since I started my journey back in March, and it isn't as easy as some people think. Even though I follow the rules there are still times when the old habits come back and I have to remember why I chose to have the RNY. So all of you out there that are just starting your journey make sure you learn all you can about what you are about to do. This is a life changing event, but it would be so easy to lose sight of the goal and get back into the food. So you need to talk to as many people as you can and realize it isn't a fix, all the surgeries are a tool and if you don't use it right it can break.

I agree with all of you.  There is a reason for the 6 month waiting period.  I learned to eat slowly and to chew, chew, chew and use a small plate.  Yes, I had dieted for 35 years so another 3 months of diet and exercise seemed ridiculous but my insurance required it. 

I work with a woman that had the band about 3 1/2 years ago.  She had never dieted except for Atkins for a year.  She started Atkins the first of the year in 2006 and did well but went off Atkins around the holidays the end of that year intending to start again in January 2007.  She never got started again so regained all her weight.  She decided on what she thought was a quick fix and had lap band in March 2007.  There was no preparation, no counseling.  She did lost about 80 lbs. of the 150 she needed to lose; however, she quit eating healthy, drinks a lot of alcohol and eats high fat foods so the excess weight came back. 

She has lot some of the weight again, but now says she is satisfied with where she is.  Do I believe that?  No.  She isn't willing to give up the crap she eats and drinks.

There are times when I remember something I used to eat that I no longer eat, especially sweets, and wish I could have it now, but being healthy, off the meds, lots of energy is far better than any food.  I am constantly looking for healthy alternatives.

Well I am one of the ones that DID NOT go the whole route..not by choice.  I was going to have to have stomach surgery to remove the band & repair damage.  So I asked the DR to make a suggestion as to what I should do.  But, again, he wanted to admit me at that moment...& start the repair, I asked to have th bypass.  So I took the fast track...I was 417 with the band & lost down to 198, but over some time, I had gained back almost 70 lbs.  But it wasnt over eating, it was bad choices.  My son lost his legs this year & I turned to food again.  But, I was already seeing a therapist, so he proceeded.  I get what you are saying..but not everyone had a choice to rush into this.  I am angry...not at my Dr, but at the situation I have put my body in....I AM MISERABLE!  I have posted a post about how angry I am....how miserable I am.  Maybe I do need to experience some "tough love" as you put it, but I can tell you, I feel alone in this endeavor!  ALL ALONE!   I was able to go on, knowing that not everyone likes thier RNY!  Its ok, to not like it too!  But dont think I am sitting here having buyers remorse, it is what it is...but frankly I would just like to talk to someone about my rules, what I dont like, get ideas on what to do to change it...some one to problem solve with me...someone to tell me its OK to be upset!  I would like someone to give me some ideas as to how to work through this...someone to tell me its going to get better...so Tough love???  maybe not...how about some understanding??

Shelly~We all need support, I lost my husband a little over a month after I had surgery, we were together 35 years and I get where you made some bad choices. I had quit smoking for 4 years and since I couldn't choose food, I chose cigarettes. The surgery was a gift from God, and I have been able to go on with my life. That said, it hasn't been easy. I'm six+ months out now and going through some very difficult changes, the temptations are sometimes really hard, but I am so grateful that I had my surgery, and will never be angry that I can no longer eat. Hang in there and post on this board all you need to, there are a lot of good people here, we have all gone through some kind of difficulty, and some of us are good at "TOUGH LOVE", and the Love part will be behind what ever advice is given.

I have learned to surrender my problems to God, even when I don't think I am worthy of his Love and help he sends me the strength through his Spirit to get through what ever comes my way.

You can PM me if you like. Would like to hear from you.

Jeanie

So sorry you are having a bad time.  My surgery was in July 2008 and I've had no regrets. 

Am I understanding correctly you were at 417, had gastric bypass, lost down to 198 but have regained 70 lbs.?  Apparently, the doctor that performed your surgery doesn't provide follow up care. 

My advice if you want to get back to losing is to track everything you eat.  Have a couple of protein shakes a day and make healthy choices in everything you eat. 

Do post here.  There are really nice, helpful people here.